Right now. Talking about his store eviction. If you’re into that.

The weeks between June 19th and September 5th are known, in my home country, as “silly season.” Because everyone is on vacation, and the news slows to a trickle. Not unlike here in Portland, frankly. Still, it’s reassuring to know that the Daily Mail can turn a Jelly Wrestling Attack into a 1400 word news story: “Pictured: The bikini-clad Cambridge student arrested for attacking spectator at jelly-wrestling match.”
TABLOID STORIES: Make you proud to be British…

She then grabbed a bottle of Lambrini and made for the exit but was stopped by two burly bouncers. When they tried to confiscate the bottle of cheap perry, she punched one and headbutted the other, forcing them to call for reinforcements.

Police finally arrived and arrested her after the jelly debacle unfolded on Sunday afternoon, taking her to a nearby station where she received a caution for common assault.

One undergraduate who witnessed the incident said: ‘The crowd gets to choose the victor by cheering - the fighter with the louder cheer wins.

‘Nadia had been a bit aggressive and probably wasn’t as attractive as the other girl, so she was booed although she’d probably been the better fighter.

‘She went mad and punched a girl dressed as a butterfly standing at the edge of the crowd. Blood gushed from her nose everywhere.

That is THE PINNACLE of our trade, ladies and gentlemen. The absolute pinnacle.

As you may have heard, Tim Russert, the longtime host of Meet the Press died of a massive coronary on Friday. One of the great interviewer/reporters, Russert always did a kickass job regardless of who was sitting in the seat opposite, and he will be missed.

Yesterday’s edition of Meet the Press (hosted by Tom Brokaw) was devoted to Russert’s legacy, and is pretty moving stuff. CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE EPISODE HERE. No time today? Check out this quick recap here.

Tribune columnist Dwight Jaynes is brave enough to tackle the issue of blogging over there today. I was intrigued by his point about being nice to sources. In Portland, he says, “you often lose your sources if you offend them.” The problem being, the job he’s describing isn’t journalism, it’s public relations. And it’s a very dangerous attitude in a town with one monopoly newspaper and a few mediocre rivals. (Apart from the Mercury, which represents journalism’s pinnacle, of course). So. Here’s my manifesto for Portland journalists:

1.Grow a pair of whatever you need to offend your sources.
2.Do it.
3.Do it again.
4.Call them up and explain that it’s your job to ask tough questions.
5.Do it again.
6.Do it again.

Otherwise this town dies. It’s that simple. Last night I was talking with someone about the Oregonian’s coverage of the county’s ongoing mental health crisis. Someone suggested that Art Sulzberger over there is essentially doing a PR job for the county. I can’t say I disagree. But then, he does have an office in the county building—and it must be hard to piss off people you have to see at the water cooler. Art, what’s this I hear about a forensic audit not having been done? Any chance you might run a story on it in the O tomorrow?

The paper may have gone weekly, but the Trib’s coverage of homeless issues is improving. Perhaps all the reporters over there are getting a taste of what it might be like to live without an income…

“A lot of people recognize it as a civil rights issue. While it’s true that the laws impact homeless folks right now, they’re relevant to everybody. It has a significant impact on people no matter who you are. I think on a human level people will connect with that.”

“This is social cleansing, plain and simple,” Flowers said Monday. “These are economic apartheid policies which criminalize an entire class of people.”

GOOD. GOOD. GOOD. I’m excited to read what the Trib’s notoriously tolerant readers have to say in the comments.

Next time you need to relive yourself in Belgium, try to find a Place To Pee booth. It’s billed as the “Ultimate Urinating Experience!” This ingenious urinal combines the joy and relaxation of a long whiz, with the thrill and excitement of a video game!

Two side by side urinals are connected to video screens that are connected to a gaming system that offers a variety of entertainment options (including “Pee to Ski,” natch). Players control the games by aiming their flow at two sensors set inside the urinal bowl. Players can play with themselves… er… excuse me… by themselves, or they can go “head to head” (HA!) with the guy beside them.

There is a trick, of course. In order to play the game you need a full bladder and a strong stream of urine. Oh, and a penis. Apparently, attempts to include women in a Place To Pee by providing special paper funnels has been met with a resounding, “eeewwwwwwww.”

Here’s the video (yes, video) from Rueters!

“I though I had peed before, but since I used this cabinet I realize that I have never really peed before.”

Thank you, Mr. Drunken Belgian Man. Thank you.

Street Roots director Israel Bayer has some wise words on the homeless protest:

Like it or not, many individuals experiencing homelessness are not going to sleep in a shelter, period. There are also people living with animals; couples, and families that simply will not be split up due to archaic shelter guidelines. And yes, there are drug addicts. Individuals dealing with an addiction are human beings, and using law enforcement to force individuals into the criminal justice system, and not have the same access to shelters as the broader population, is inhumane, costly, and backwards…

We are all on the same side in this fight — local businesses, community organizations, City Hall, advocates, social services, and the people affected the most. It’s clear that there are not enough resources. But we can’t lose our focus on being able to couple short-term, out-of-the-box thinking with a housing first model that has proven successful. We can’t be distracted into thinking shelter beds are a satisfactory means to end the criminalization of the homeless or to house people. Portland’s leaders need to reinforce long-term solutions to truly make a difference.

Incidentally I was in the gym this morning, and heard a customer talking to his personal trainer about the homeless protest. The trainer, I think, was on the side of the protesters, but the guy on the abs-ball was saying, “I’m about as conservative as it gets on this issue…the city’s giving these people places to sleep, it’s not their right to get in my way, walking down the sidewalk.”

And I could just see the trainer wanting to slap him one, or kick the ball over so this guy would fall on his ass. But he couldn’t, because he was being paid to listen to this guy’s crap. I wanted to go over and say pretty much what Israel said in his post, about shelters not being the right solution for everyone, and ask him what gave him the right to say where people should be allowed to exist. But I stopped myself, because I realized it’s better that people are talking about these issues in the gym and at least having to decide where they stand, than not talking about them at all. Also, I was worried I might punch the guy, and that wouldn’t get any of us anywhere.

Don’t punch anyone. It’s not a good idea.

It’s rare that homeless issues become a topic for public discussion beyond the narrow realm of maniacal left-wing websites, and of course, the Mercury, which is certainly way right of center, and proud of the fact. Or something. Thankfully the homeless protest outside City Hall has brought out at least one news truck: KGW sent a news team out to cover the protest and ran a surprisingly enlightened story on their website, asking their readers to “weigh in.” Interesting. Here are some of the comments:

May 1, 2008 05:15 p.m.
Yesterday it was the “need” of more money for the zoo (Yet another mismanaged public asset). Today it’s homeless shelter and truck driver “needs”. Tomorrow, how about you all start giving me some money of yours because I educated myself and worked hard and now I “want” your help because I “need” to pay my mortgage that I can’t afford because YOU all just keep giving handouts with MY money.
May 1, 2008 03:44 p.m.
Ummmm…. the city has let this go on for 6 days? I guess the lawn of city hall is now a campground. I’m always appalled by this city’s lack of response to the issue of homeless/ panhandlers who harass the working people of downtown. They are left to lay around like the detritus of society. Guess its more important to concentrate on projects like building a tram. /sigh
May 1, 2008 02:33 p.m.
Time for this city to arrest them. I am tired of seeing Portland as a garbage dump for the homeless.
May 1, 2008 01:44 p.m.
This is ridiculous. Recent college graduates who are working downtown cant even afford to work down town. Why should people with no jobs have special benefits.
May 1, 2008 12:32 a.m.

Rediculous indeed. But at least they’re TALKING ABOUT IT. Meanwhile Anna Griffin has blogged the story at the Oregonian [Why no story in the paper?]; I can’t see anything on the Willamette Week’s website, nor on the Tribune’s (although they did just go weekly and fire a bunch of people); nor on KATU, nor on KOIN. It’s odd, but where I come from, if 20+ homeless people decide to set up camp on the steps of city hall, and stay there a WEEK to protest the city’s policies on sweeping homeless from under the bridges, that’s NEWS. Why are none of our so-called news outlets covering the story? Because they support the policies? Because they value some people’s voices over others?

Go at it, people. Go at it with all your savagery and ill will. I’d rather see KATU run a fascist-baiting piece on the protest than simply pretend it’s not happening. Earn your paychecks! Or there’ll be cuts…and who knows, you might end up homeless, yourselves…

The Portland Tribune has been reportedly canning newsroom people today, and may go one day a week. This, of course, is tragic news for everyone in Portland.

[laughs]

A call to editor Dwight Jaynes is yet to be returned. Sorry to those who may have lost their jobs. It’s a bad day for newspapers.

It’s not easy being a news anchor—especially when you’re reporting stories about attention deficit disorder. However, when the news you’re reporting turns around and strikes YOU… mmmm… uhhh… I forget where I was going with this. Can we start over?

P.S. What is UP with his right eye?

I caught wind of this yesterday, and now it seems that Oregon Media Insiders is confirming it: The Oregonian—following news that their circulation shrank by 4.76 percent in the last six months—is going to offer voluntary buy-outs to all of its part timers. In editorial, the number I hear is that would apply to up to around 90 people (unless I misheard and that’s a paper-wide number. It’s a big chunk of employees, either way.)