That's the two-disc, limited edition, collectible version of the 10th anniversary DVD of The Big Lebowski, one of my favorite films, and probably one of most peoples' favorite films, actually. The studio sent us over one of these--it boasts a slew of all-new special features, plus individually numbered, bowling ball packaging--and it's currently sitting on my desk, and I'm resisting the selfish urge to just take it home and not tell anybody about it. (Especially since the thing doesn't even come out in stores until September 9--and if having something like this on your shelf before anybody else doesn't give you bragging rights around good ol' Insterstate Lanes, I don't know what will.) But no! Instead, we're gonna do a contest so that one lucky Blogtown reader can take it home. Why? Because I am giving and kind and generous, and don't you ungrateful assholes forget it.

Hit the jump for the details.

The following notice is printed in the paper that's currently hitting the streets, but there's no reason at all to leave the denizens of Blogtown out of the loop. The short version: The Mercury's looking for funny, awkward, and horrifying stories of school-related sex for our upcoming Back to School issue! The long version:

Remember losing your virginity in high school? Or college? Or (gulp!) junior high school? Did you have a hee-larious mix-up with a condom, a forbidden intimate encounter with a hot teacher, or an all-out pregnancy scare? Did you first do it in a car, at a football game, or in an empty classroom? If so, we want to hear from you--and just like in school, we want you to write an essay! In 300 words or less, detail your funniest, sexiest, weirdest, most awkward, best, or worst story about losing your virginity--and if yours is the best, you'll win $100 cash money, along with bragging (or denying) rights when your story is published in the Mercury's upcoming Back to School Issue! (Don't worry! If requested, we'll run the stories anonymously.) Email your tales of love and woe to deflowered@portlandmercury.com no later than Tuesday, September 2!

So there you go. Get to it.

LEGAL NOTICE: Okay, so despite the image above, the Mercury's essay contest might not be "officially" endorsed by Tina Fey. But we like to think she'd probably be pretty cool with it.

(Click on it for a larger version.)

I'd like to draw your attention to paragraph six:

Furthermore, there is a public safety issue involved with allowing the unregulated placement of these newspaper boxes on our sidewalks: terrorism. A terrorist could easily place a newspaper box containing a biological agent, bomb, or other device at street level in downtown Portland harming all nearby citizens. These boxes are located next to city hall, courthouses, movie theaters, museums, etc., and they are not being regulated by the city.

Emphasis mine. I wonder where Mr. Paugh--perhaps the same Charles Paugh who frequently comments here?--got the idea of bombs in newspaper boxes?

I am NOT SUGGESTING that our I, Anonymous forum should be used to try and get free stuff, but it is a good way to air your grievances and confess your sins. Apparently, every once in a blue moon, someone listens.

Just a reminder: A joint effort between the Mercury and the Portland Art Institute, the "My Pretty Portland" film and animation contest is up and running! Submit your Portland-centric, two-minute-long film so that you can be in the running for prizes like $1,000 cash, passes to TBA, a fancy-pants dinner at clarklewis, and other great stuff!

All the details you need can be found here and here, and you've got one week to submit your short--all entries are due no later than 5 pm on Wednesday, August 27. (For the procrastinators out there who haven't even started yet, that means you've still got time--though not much of it.) Anyway, have at! And remember: Extra points for unicorns and/or flying ponies! Or terminators.*

*Please note: McG is not allowed to enter this contest.

Here it is: Your chance to make it to the BIG TIME.

The Mercury and the Art Institute of Portland are presenting the "My Pretty Portland" film and animation contest, in which you--yes, you--can submit your two-minute-long film, and possibly walk away with $1,000, or a bunch of other cool prizes, or a swift kick to the rear! All you need to do? Make a live-action or animated film that's two minutes or less in length, and that follows the theme of "My Pretty Portland"--in other words, a short that shows what you love about our fair city, be it the sun-dappled glades of Forest Park, the bike-covered streets, the thriving music scene, or the wide arrange of super-friendly ladies along 82nd. (Hi Mercedes!) Extra credit will be given to films that include a unicorn or flying pony. Obviously.

Out of all the submissions we receive, 10 will be selected and shown at the the Art Institute's Rock the Block 10th Anniversary Celebration on Saturday, August 30. From those 10 films, winners will be picked, prizes will be given out, dreams will be mercilessly crushed magically come true, etc.

Full details and rules can be found right here. Get on it, Scorsese.

It was wonk-errific, and a total blast. Check out the first part here, then click through to KCRW's YouTube page for the other short segments.

And please ignore the part where I inadvertently smack my clip-microphone, while emphasizing a point. Like I said, this was my TV debut.

• Comment on anything and everything! Not only can you write your own reviews of movies, clubs, events and restaurants, you can now comment on any story on the site. SO BE NICE. (Please?)

• "Found It" is easier to search than ever! We really souped up our event search engine, so now you can browse for events and restaurants in any section of the city, and for whatever day you want! Compare it to other engines, and I think you'll agree it's the bomb-diggy-diggy.

• Create your own profile! By creating a "MyMercuryFace" account, you can save your fave Mercury stories, your reviews and comments, AND GET THIS! You can even get email and text reminders for upcoming shows and events! (I needed this SO bad!) You can also save lists of your "MyMercuryFace" friends, your fave venues, and make custom lists. Check out my profile page for a good example of this stuff in action!

WANT TO CREATE YOUR PROFILE? Simply go to the top right hand corner, and tap "Create account." You'll see your blank page, then go to the top right again and tap "Edit Profile." You'll be able to post your picture, create your name, and submit your cell number so we can send you reminders!

NATURALLY, THIS SITE IS NOT THE FINISHED PRODUCT. We're still working hard on ironing out the bugs (and new ideas and functions are already in the planning stages). But we need your help to let us know what's not right! PLEASE OFFER YOUR SUGGESTIONS IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. We'll try to respond to your suggestions as soon as possible!
As always, thanks for being a loyal Mercury reader, and let us know what you think!

Matt Staab, chemistry teacher at Cleveland High School, brought his "Explosives 'Kit'" to show us a few DIY (and a few don't try 'em at home) fire balls and bangs and volcanic diet coke tricks.

These are elemental salts, on fire, producing a rainbow of colors:

Oooo, pretty. Staab gave me some notes, and the ones for this experiment say:

quantum mechanics. e- drops back to lower energy light emitted (photon/wave)

Check out more explosions, plus a few tips on where to procure the necessary ingredients for "exploding acetylene balloons," in the July 3 issue!

Today started off with a little editors meeting, where we talked about our Fourth of July issue and lauughed and lauughed. I don't want give too many spoilers here, but you can expect patriotism, ass-kicking food, and an all American salute to explosions. This issue is not intended for pussies or crybabies.

Next, we went outside, where a chemistry professor was lighting shit on fire in our parking lot. We lauuughed and lauuughed.

Then, Terry Lynn Link, the creator of Tails of Abbygail showed up to say hello and bring us some posters! I got the one of Champ! She was very nice. As she was leaving she told me, "You guys are actually pretty cool down here, and you can quote me on that." She then hopped on her custom motorcycle, laid down some rubber in a cloud of smoke and blazed off.

Next a bunch of us went to get ice cream for a review I'm writing, where I realized, "Hey, I'm getting paid to eat ice cream!" I lauuughed and lauuughed.

To top it off, we're all going down to the mall this afternoon to get glamour shots! And we'll lauuugh and lauuugh.

You are sooooo jealous. You know you are.

World of Warcraft players will remember the hit “I am Murloc” as the tongue-in-cheek tribute to the beloved race of fish-people by Blizzard Entertainment’s house band, Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain. The thrash metal-style song debuted to delighted attendees at Blizzard Entertainment’s BlizzCon™ 2005 gaming convention in Anaheim, CA.

Rent boy="hustler", "working boy", "trade", "call-boy." Then there's "gay for pay" or "rough trade," just hit up Wikipedia. Given Portland's reputation as one of the world's rent boy capitals, after Amsterdam and Manchester, I was amazed nobody had heard the term before. So, what did River Phoenix play in My Own Private Idaho? A "male prostitute," I was told.
PHOENIX: RENT BOY!

If there's an American term, I'd like to hear it.