The Shaky Hands have released some information and artwork (If you can decipher that rorschach-esque cover art—you win a prize!) on their upcoming full-length Lunglight, which will be released on Holocene Music and Kill Rock Stars. A band so big that they need two labels.

Supposedly “slightly darker” than the stoner summertime pop of their self-titled debut, Lunglight will hit the streets on September 9th. Full press release (my favorite line: “Mayhaw Hoons’ wildly swinging curly red hair”) and track listing are below. Can’t wait…

End Hits: Oh, I think I see what the image is, it’s a spider with a parachute, right? What do I win?

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog is the latest project from Joss Whedon, and far as I can tell, it’s an online series that also happens to be a musical. Usually, the words “online series” and “musical” would combine to spell “certain doom,” but hey, Whedon’s involved, and plus, Dr. Horrible stars Neil Patrick Harris (!), Nathan Fillion (!!), and Felicia Day (okay, so I have no idea who Felicia Day is, but still—Nathan Fillion and Neil Patrick Harris!).

Well, here’s the teaser for it, via the fansite for Dr. Horrible. (Whedon fans—either creepily or charmingly—will happily set up entire fan-based communities for shows they haven’t even seen yet. There are already at least three for Dollhouse, which won’t even air until January.) Considering I’ve only ever been able to sit through two musicals without seriously considering the benefits of becoming a cutter, it feels weird to say this—but, uh, I kind of wish there was some music in here?

FAKIN’ IT—What can you say about an organization that allows eccentrics with names like Björn Türoque (“born to rock,” get it?) to get on stage and play the invisible axe to Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades”? It’s the US Air Guitar Championships, and after tonight’s regional competition, the winners head to San Francisco to compete for a chance to represent the Stars ‘n’ Stripes in Finland, where they take this shit very, very seriously. PATRICK ALAN COLEMAN

Skeptical? I was, too, until I saw this video of air guitarist C. Diddy, who won the 2003 US Championship:

Because of the Hello Kitty breastplate, I’m almost tempted to post this under the “Cats” tag… but I won’t. But somehow, the “Music” tag doesn’t seem right either.

Dante’s, 1 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $12-15

First thing’s first and I know we’re harping on it a lot—but if you haven’t read this post and the ensuing comments, you are denying yourself the biggest bellylaugh you’re likely to get all week. Go there now… I’ll wait till you get back.

WASN’T THAT AWESOME?!? Okay, here’s something else that’s great, too. Who remembers Showbiz Pizza? If you went there as a kid, you’ll certainly remember the Rock-afire Explosion—the super creepy animatronic animal band that could be programmed to play a myriad of crappy kid’s songs. Well, now there’s a bunch of collectors out there who purchased these robots, set them up in their basement and then programmed them to sing current songs. AND HERE’S THE BEST ONE I’VE SEEN YET!

Ladies and gentlemen, The Rock-afire Explosion presents Usher’s “Love in this Club.”

My friend sang a Karaoke rendition of “We Built This City” by Jefferson Starship on Saturday night. Since then, this horrible song has popped into my head every time I make the mistake of turning my ipod off. Dumb songs that have the propensity of getting stuck in your head have a name apparently, earworms.

The good people at Radiolab, my and Ira Glass’ favorite show on public radio, have compiled some possible ways to relieve yourself of those blasted earworms. My favorite solution is to inflict it on others by singing it out loud. My roomate and I used to do that with “Una Noche” by 98 Degrees and “That Smell” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. We kept passing them to and fro like a bad case of Chlamydia.

To read what Radiolab has to say and listen to their podcast on the subject (for free!)…click here.

Attention all indie rockers with lots of paid vacation days:
Why go to Hawaii on vacation? Their local bands suck.
Instead, why not come to Portland?

That’s more or less the concept behind the Travel Portland (a non-profit tourism board paid for by hotel taxes that encourages Portland travel) “Portland Rocks” offer. This tourism package has hotel discounts (at the Ace or Jupiter, definitely not at the Unicorn Inn on 82nd) and includes an “exclusive Stumptown Rock compilation CD and MP3 album download.”

The CD (titled Stumptown Rock, Vol. 1) was curated by Dave Allen and features the likes of Blitzen Trapper, Another Cynthia, Au, Loch Lomond, Boy Eats Drum Machine, Panther, and more. Since we live here, and don’t stay in hotels, we don’t have a copy of it. Damn tourists.

This idea—that our indie music culture is now a viable selling point for tourism—is pretty appealing, just so long no indie rockers from Germany come here. If they do, it’s on. Jets versus Sharks style, right in the middle of East Burnside.

I will so stab a Kraut outside Bombshell Vintage.

End Hits: The only music blog that can’t go one goddamn day without threatening to stab someone.

Regular readers of this blog already know that from time to time I’m called upon to defend Celine Dion… AND TODAY WILL BE NO DIFFERENT! Total Guitar magazine has released their poll of the absolute worst cover songs of all time, and guess who’s at the tippy-top? Celine’s version of AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long.”

Now. I’m not saying this cover is the greatest (see her version of “River Deep-Mountain High” if you want to see the awesomest cover of all time), however, if nothing else it’s pretty freaking hilarious and I smiled all the way through it. Check it out below, and list your choices for worst covers in the comments!

More fun (and less Celine) over at End Hits!

I haven’t played any sort of musical instrument since I was forced to haltingly learn the rudiments of the recorder in like fourth grade, and I am resolutely, pathetically tone deaf—which means if you probably shoudn’t ever invite me somewhere if you plan on having a jam session, or even if you’re just planning on singing “Happy Birthday” to somebody you don’t loathe. All the same, I ended up at Weezer’s “Hootenanny” last night, at the Oaks Park Dance Pavilion of all places—an event that was more or less a combination between a secret show and what I imagine it felt like to be a marching band nerd in high school.

Elementary school is probably the better comparison, actually, as long as you imagine your favorite music teacher is Mr. Cuomo. 94.7 sponsored the show—one of a series of such hootenannies that Weezer’s traveling around and putting on to mark the release of their latest album—and the basic idea is this: A local radio station invites like 200 people out, who are told to bring whatever instrument(s) they play, and, beforehand, to learn the basics of the songs that make up the setlist. In Portland’s case: The 200 or so people were invited by 94.7, and they brought instruments that ranged from plastic kazoos to a drum that was the approximate size and shape of semi-truck’s wheel. Also: trombones, guitars, trumpets, violins, cellos, tambourines, maracas, clarinets, those drums hippies like, tubas, and those egg-shaped shaker things that don’t even really count as instruments. And then Weezer played six songs, and everybody played and sang and hummed along, and it was one of the most fun shows I’ve been to in a really long time.

Another week, another Mercury music section to read while you curse Japan for having the world’s greatest vending machines.

Au goes pop. Well, sort of. It’s experimental pop music and it is quite excellent. Way better than that experimental funk-metal record I made that no one bought.
MP3:
Au - rr vs. d

Journey to the land of Blue Giant. And unlike a certain other colored giant, this supergroup (with members of Viva Voce, Golden Bears, and Swords Project) doesn’t care if you eat your damn veggies or not.
MP3:
Blue Giant - Blue Sunshine

You like your Scots depressed? Hey, who doesn’t? Well then Frightened Rabbits are for you. Besides, if you had to eat haggis all day and listen to the Bay City Rollers every S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night, you’d be bummed too.
MP3:
Frightened Rabbit - Good Arms vs. Bad Arms

Be Your Own Pet will cure all your neurotic ways. So that means you can now sell me all your unused medication. Oh, do you have any Demerol? I love those.
MP3:
Be Your Own Pet - Becky

End Hits: We love music, and pills. But mostly just pills.

Mercury favorite—and not-so-favorite—Girl Talk has just unleashed his new album Feed the Animals under the pay-whatever-you-want system made popular by Radiohead.

You can download it for free (320 kbps MP3s), pay $5 for the fancy FLAC files, and if your pockets are deep you can drop $13 (this includes shipping) for the bigger files and a copy of the disc that will be shipped to you when its “properly” released in September.

I spent $13. Even if I am not totally sold on his live show, Night Ripper has given me years of quality entertainment and I’m anxious to hear if he can capture that magic once again. If you downloaded it, let us know how much you paid (if anything), and why.

End Hits: $13 poorer.

When I hear about “German Love,” I immediately think about Hasselhoff fetishes, those sexy scenes in Das Boot, and my German safe word (“Uwe Ochsenknecht”).

But when local band Starfucker—posing above with a Celtics-colored basketball in loving tribute to the long struggle of NBA champion Brian Scalabrine—sings about “German Love,” things are far less creepy. In fact, this breezy little song (the first preview from their upcoming self-titled full-length due out in September from the good folks at Bad Man) nicely captures why this band is all the rage these days.

MP3:
Starfucker - German Love

Photo by Ingrid Renan

End Hits: We’ll stop sexualizing Germany now.

Yesterday, an unfortunate message appeared on the MySpace blog of Charleston, SC band The Explorers Club:

As it so happens, misfortune has struck The Explorers Club. Just outside of Forsyth Montana (which is in the middle of nowhere) our big green monster of a van came head to head with a 250 pound deer… We are now stranded in Forsyth, waiting to hear from the mechanic tomorrow on what the damage is going to be. Needless to say this puts us in quite a hole. We’re not going to be able to make the Seattle or Portland shows, but will do our best to catch back up in San Francisco if we can get repaired in time… A Paypal Donate button has been added to our page as well… Love you all, we’ll hopefully be back on the road soon!

Well, as fate would have it, good luck intervened and the Explorers Club have bounced back! (I wish I could report the same for the deer.) I just spoke with multi-instrumentalist Dave Ellis on the phone, who told me: “It was the damnedest thing. These mechanics in Forsyth, Montana were able to get us a new radiator, so we’re back on the road. We’re at the Doug Fir right now. We missed the Seattle show, but we are GO for tonight.”

MP3:
The Explorers Club - Do You Love Me?

As you can hear above, the Explorers Club make sunny, vocal-harmony-drenched pop songs that sound very much like another band… whose name I can’t place right now… you know, one of the quintessential American bands of the ’60s… the Surf Kids? or something? The Sand Lads? At any rate, thankfully it takes more than a deer to the radiator to keep the Explorers Club down, but after mechanics’ expenses and hotel rooms, they could still use any extra cash. They’ve set up a Paypal donate button on their MySpace page, so if you’re feeling generous, you can click to help them out. OR you can go to the show tonight and buy lots of merch!

The Explorers Club open for Lightspeed Champion and Flowers Forever tonight at the Doug Fir; 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12

End Hits: The music blog that smashes your radiator.

I could sooo go for some Potachos right now! What’s a potacho, you ask? Well, according to Denny’s hip new late night menu, it’s nachos made from potato slices! Get it? Potacho? No?

In an effort to harden the “food-that-old-people-don’t-need-to-wear-their-teeth-for” vibe, Denny’s has launched an effort to woo the post-nightclub youth market with Denny’s All Nighter. Their alluring slogan reads, “Nothing Good Happens After Midnight. Except Denny’s.”

Participating Denny’s (82nd Ave at Clackamas Town Center and Stark St. at Mall 205) relax their atmosphere at midnight by playing rock music, allowing servers to dress casually, and offering bar type fare like potachos. Potachos!

The menu also includes a Smokin Q’ Four Pack of mini BBQ cheeseburgers, “‘cause bbq ain’t got a curfew.”

If bad grammar ain’t good ‘nuff to snag no wiley youth market, Denny’s has also launched an All Nighter website. There, you can listen to music from Myspace bands and vote for your favorites to be “adopted” by Denny’s, which entitles them to free meals while on tour! Score!

So, if you see your favorite Myspace band this summer and they’re looking a little portly and lethargic, you can bet you’ll see them at Denny’s after the show. No Way! Potachos with Foxy Shazam!

Foxy Shazam: Potachos make us sad.

The latest issue of Paste (which you can read online via this handy magazine-style web format thingy) has named Portland’s Music Millennium as one of “America’s Finest” record stores. Hot damn!

Well, that’s not news to us. It’s also not news that they call MM owner Terry Currier a “Weird Al doppleganger,” which I assume they meant as a compliment. Anyway, MM joins the ranks of Amoeba, the unfortunately-named Electric Fetus, and a few more select stores, as the best-of-the-best record shops around. Congrats.

End Hits: Ray Stevens doppleganger.