This Week in the Mercury
Friday, February 10, 2012
Gossip / Sports Madonna Throws M.I.A. Under the Bus
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 5:14 PM
Remember this year's Super Bowl halftime show? (God, it already feels like years ago.) And remember when M.I.A. kind of flipped you the bird? And remember how everyone lost their shit about it? UPDATE TIME! So it may come to pass that if any fines are levied by the FCC, it very well could be M.I.A. paying them, thanks to an iron-clad contract she signed with the NFL, in which she swore up and down she wouldn't do anything morally untoward. (In this political environment, I suppose flipping the bird counts as morally untoward.)
And if you're expecting your highness Madonna to stick up for M.I.A.'s right to "freedom of speech" or whatever... well, you can forget it. Here's what she had to say on Ryan Seacrest's radio show about the bird flip.
I wasn’t happy about it. I understand it’s punk rock and everything, but to me there was such a feeling of love and good energy, and positivity it seemed negative. It’s such a teenager…irrelevant thing to do…there was such a feeling of love and unity there what was the point? It was just out of place.
UGH! I thought it was stupid, too—until Madge said this. Go back to your candy bowl full of melted Werther's Originals, grandma!!
LGBTQI-Z / Cops Police Officers Also Want You to Know "It Gets Better"
Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 4:59 PM
It feels like, what, almost a year or so since the wave of It Gets Better videos crested? (Not that LGBT bullying is any less of a problem.) Bravo to the San Francisco Police Department for not letting a little thing like the public's lapsed attention get in the way of producing maybe one of the best IGB videos I've ever seen. It's worth the nearly nine minutes it'll take to watch—to see a bunch of police officers very candidly and very bravely share their personal stories. And even get a little misty-eyed themselves.
Portland police officials ought to see about following suit. I sent a copy to Sergeant Pete Simpson, a bureau spokesman, who promised to check it out. "We have talked about this in the past," he says. Maybe this guy, his boss, can offer some pointers.
Comedy The Other Breakfast Club Archetype: The Class Clown
Posted by Courtney Ferguson on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 4:44 PM
Comedy Night at the Bagdad, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 8 pm, $5
w/Ian Karmel, Christian Ricketts, Scoot Herring, Aaron Hays, Jordan Casner, and Tristan Spillman
TV Required Viewing: Alternate Version of Clint Eastwood's Halftime-in-America Commercial
Posted by Christopher Frizzelle on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 4:29 PM
It's required because hahahahahahahahahahaha.
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Food Win Valentine's Dinner for Two at Central
Posted by Alison Hallett on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 4:19 PM
This one's for the broke, the bummed, and or/the chronically underprepared: Charming Old Town cocktail bar Central has teamed up with House Spirits to provide some last-minute Valentine's Day salvation to one lucky Blogtown reader. Central is offering dinner for two at their Loveless Valentine's Day Dinner—wine/cocktail pairings included!—plus a bonus bottle of House Spirits' soon-to-be-released Volstead Vodka.
VALENTINE'S DAY IS SAVED! Maybe. All you have to do to win: Leave a suitably heart-warming (or devastatingly bitter, I don't really care) explanation for why you and your partner/lover/friend of choice could really use a fancy Valentine's Day night on the town*. 21+ only need apply; make sure there's a functional email address attached to your Blogtown account, so I can reach you if you win; I'll pick one lucky winner at winner at 5 pm on Monday.
I'm posting the menu after the jump. You can also buy your way into this amazing-sounding dinner—it's $55 per person for the prix fixe dinner, plus $35 for cocktail or wine pairings. (And if you can afford to do so, please don't enter this contest, ya jerk. Let's let somebody broke have something nice for a change.)
*I will ban the first person who uses the words "capitalist holiday" in the comments, I swear to god I will.
Election 2012 And Now, Your Daily Picture of Bruce Campbell Wearing a Kilt and Carrying a Sword
Posted by Erik Henriksen on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 2:44 PM
- Via.
That is all.
Fashion Announcing: Communion
Posted by Marjorie Skinner on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 2:14 PM
Just got a message from Mary Luczycki, the longtime manager at the recently closed Hawthorne shop Local35, and more recently its spinoff/replacement Machus. Spying an opportunity to fill the more mid-range price point void that Local left in its wake, Luczycki is taking matters into her own hands to open Communion, which will even go so far as to reside in the very spot that Local35 left vacant. Details as to what specifically will be carried are still in the works, and she is projecting an opening somewhere between March 15 and April 1. All in all, nice catch. There couldn't possibly be anyone more qualified to serve the Local35 customer, refill that role in the Hawthorne economy, and inherit all the good vibes that Local35 built up over the years.
- The about-to-be-closed Local35 space circa January 14
News Did You Get a Call from Sam Adams Yesterday?
Posted by Sarah Mirk on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 1:44 PM
Yesterday at 5:27 pm, my cell phone rang. The caller: PUBLIC ALERTS. The message: A soothing Mayor Sam Adams telling me the city was testing its emergency system and thanking me for signing up my phone number in the city's database.
I was just one of 328,000 people to get the call yesterday. This is a slight miracle, because just two weeks ago, a similar test of the emergency alert system utterly failed, reaching only one percent of the people who signed up for alerts. If there had been, say, an e-coli breakout in our water system, a massive fire tearing across town, or a noxious gas leak, 99 percent of people who try to keep informed wouldn't have known about it.
But as Nathan Gilles' story in our paper this week notes: Even when the alerts work, Portlanders might be screwed in a disaster. The city relies on trained neighborhood leaders to be responders during a real disaster—the leaders in the city's NET program are supposed to be responsible for helping get their neighbors to safety, administer basic first aid, and reach people trapped in rubble. But just three of Portland's 95 neighborhoods actually have active teams with about 15-20 people each. Ouch. Read about it all here.
Bikes New Paris Laws Give Bikes Okay to Run Red Lights; Ooh-La-La!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 1:28 PM
Hot tipper Cienna fed us this story... Apparently several European cities are revising their laws to actually allow bicyclists to run red lights (yielding to oncoming traffic of course), and here's their reasoning:
In Paris, where bike share began and cycling is rampant, the municipal government decreed it legal for cyclists to flat out run red lights, according to The Telegraph. Several reasons were cited. According to officials and public documents about the law, the goal is to reduce bike backups clogging intersections. Cyclists are slower with less control as they accelerate from a stop, making them more likely to swerve or fall into a car lane.Likewise, a crowded gaggle of them waiting for a green light means they will pack closer up against cars in more dangerous proximity once everyone starts moving at different speeds. Plus, drivers of cars densely packed together waiting for a light may have lower visibility of a cyclist up ahead in a lane over. In all, when there are too many cyclists waiting at a red it becomes a danger.
The rules are set to take effect on 1,700 Paris intersections, and this is an important note in this story:
Cyclists who grill red lights, as the previously-ticketable act is known in French, will have to yield to any oncoming traffic and, of course, pedestrians. They also must make room for entering traffic turning. Any accidents occurring while they are crossing will be deemed their fault.
I realize this is like dangling fresh meat over a lion's cage, but....
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Events It's Happening Tonight
Posted by Alison Hallett on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 1:14 PM
A PRINCESS—Once again, Cort and (Merc staffer) Fatboy have lovingly lofted an old favorite onto the big screen for your pleasure. In this month of romantic introspection, The Breakfast Club could hardly be a more appropriate midnight movie to aid in analysis of how your adolescence led to your current bliss/predicament. MS
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 10 pm, $3, 21+
THE ONE—A two-day display of over 100 rare custom motorcycles, this edition of the One Motorcycle Show (helmed by See See Motorcycles) also features custom-painted helmets, a surprise musical guest, and an opening party teeming with Portland's hottest riders, builders, and passengers. MS
Sandbox Studio, 420 NE 9th, Fri 5 pm-midnight, Sat noon-10 pm, FREE
Contest! / Music Win Tickets to Cate Le Bon!
Posted by Ned Lannamann on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Over on End Hits, we're giving away a pair of tickets to see the incredible Cate Le Bon at Mississippi Studios on Thursday, February 23. Le Bon's new album CYRK is flat-out terrific, and you'll be able to read lots more about her in the Mercury in a couple weeks. In the meantime, be a winner!
Comic Books / United Federation of Planets In Which Bobby Roberts Attempts to Ruin the One Thing That Made Me Happy Today
Posted by Erik Henriksen on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 12:36 PM
Since this week's news about the comic book industry has been even more depressing than usual (Marvel demands $17,000 from Ghost Rider creator! Comic Book Men vs. Comic Book Woman! Only five percent of the readers of the "New 52" were new readers! Walking Dead co-creator sues other Walking Dead co-creator!), about the only bright spot I've been able to focus on is this, from Bleeding Cool:
In May, IDW are to publish a Doctor Who/Star Trek: The Next Generation crossover series. Featuring the Doctor, Rory, Amy, Captain Picard, Worf, Data, Geordi LaForge, Deanna Troi, Will Riker and the rest....
Yes! And the cover art? Make it so!
- Via
- Why yes, ladies, this IS my new iPhone wallpaper.
But then Bobby Roberts had to go and RUIN IT.
Fashion Weekend Shopper
Posted by Marjorie Skinner on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Thanks to good old Cupid/Hallmark and the fact that spring is around the corner (maybe that should be "spring" in the Portland context), this weekend is especially brimming with sale events on the local retail front, so if you're thinking of re-upping on some staples, especially cold-weather items like coats and sweaters, but you're tired of getting all your clothing from naked lady parties and thrift stores, this is a good time to stretch your dollars on quality, often locally produced items. Pop over to MOD for the full calendar.
TV Recaps for Poor People: Long 30 Rock Episode is Long.
Posted by Elinor Jones on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 11:52 AM
I’ve been sick this week so last night I watched Thursday television through a groggy cough syrup haze. My head cold, combined with the absence of Parks and Rec, made it one of the weaker Thursdays we’ve had in a while.
(Semi-related: I spent a good part of my sick day trying to shove my cats’ faces into pieces of bread. Thanks, Bobby.)
30 Rock
Without P&R, 30 Rock’s Valentine’s Day show was stretched to a busy 60 minutes, and the full hour allowed time for every character to have a legit story. Liz is still with Criss, who suggests a nice Valentine’s Day date. Our unlucky-in-love Liz is unenthused because of her crappy history with the holiday. She flashbacks to having a gun pointed at her by Matt Damon, trying to make out with a plant in a Novocaine stupor, and this:
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Events / Music Tonight in Music
Posted by Courtney Ferguson on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 11:29 AM
The Secret Society—Pete Krebs & His Portland Playboys, 6 pm, free, all ages; Drunken Prayer, Ukeladies, Matt Brown, 9 pm, $8-15
Alberta Street Public House—Mikey's Irish Jam Session, 6:30 pm; Fanno Creek, Daniel Ellsworth & the Great Lakes, 9:30 pm
Backspace—Bear & Moose, Neighbors, Awkward Energy, Fasters, 9 pm, all ages
Bunk Bar—SXSW PDX Showcase Fundraiser: Priory, Norman, 9 pm
Dante's—Motley Crude, The Lordy Lords, Thrones, Iron Lords, Bitch School, 9 pm, $5
East End—Digital Leather, Therapists, Fine Pets, DJ Chris Hnat, 9 pm
Food For Thought Café—KPSU Benefit Show: Tyrants, Drats!!!, NiteBrite, DJ Tuff Gnarly, 8 pm, $3-5
Holocene—Two Years of Ecstasy: Miracles Club, Polonaise, Gemini Lion, Leech, Ecstacy DJs, Ecstatic Eye, 9 pm, $5
Kelly's Olympian—Drew De Man & Old Custer, Ross McLeron & The World Radiant, Siren & the Sea, 9 pm, $5
Mission Theater—Opera vs. Cinema: Aida vs. Metropolis: Douglas Schneider, Gregory Ewer, 7 pm, $9-12
Music Millennium—Black Pussy, 5 pm, free, all ages
Roseland—Too Short, Steady the Boss, DJ Chill, 8 pm, $25, all ages
The Waypost—Small Souls, Barry Brusseau, 8 pm, all ages
Rebel Alliance So Now George Lucas Is Just Trolling Nerds
Posted by Erik Henriksen on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 11:14 AM
Star Wars: Episode I—The Phantom Menace 3D opens in theaters today, and while all of its advertising has focused on (A) podracing and (B) Darth Maul, that didn't fool our critic one bit. But George Lucas going out and doing interviews right around the same time as Episode I's rerelease might not have been the best idea—since try as he might, he kind of can't help but say stuff like this:
The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo [who seemed to be the one who shot first in the original] to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn’t. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down. (Via.)
To be fair, Lucas prefaced that obviously false statement with something very true ("Well, it’s not a religious event. I hate to tell people that. It’s a movie, just a movie"), but man: blackmailing fans into seeing Episode I again and digging up the whole Han Shot First fanboy freakout? Look, I'm just throwing this out there, but maybe not the best publicity move.
LGBTQI-Z Required Listening: Howard Stern on Ellen, JC Penney, Bullied Gay Kids, Rosie, Santorum, Bachmann, et al
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 10:59 AM
I can't count the number of times I've defended figures like Howard Stern and Bill Maher—straight entertainers who 1. fully support gay rights but 2. sometimes tell jokes that sensitivos consider homophobic. These guys are on our side and they're good for our side. Yeah, sometimes the tell jokes or do bits that are rooted in what is clearly their own personal discomfort with/fear of gay sex, particularly that man-on-man buttsex they never tire of hearing about, obsessing about, joking about, etc. But you know what? There are a lot of people out there who oppose gay rights because they're uncomfortable with gay sex and a lot of these folks—and lots of them are the kinds of guys who listen to Stern—are convinced that their own personal discomfort with gay sex requires them to oppose gay rights. What the Sterns and Mahers demonstrate is that you can be a little uncomfortable with gay sex—you can even have sense of humor about your discomfort, you can even tell the occasional joke about it—and still support the full civil equality of LGBT people.
Anyway, listen to Howard Stern lay into the bigots. It's beautiful radio.
Music Lackthereof's New, Free Album Was Recorded in a Single Day
Posted by Ned Lannamann on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Menomena's Danny Seim records solo work under the moniker Lackthereof, and today he's released the 11th Lackthereof album for free over on Menomena's site.
But this isn't just any old Lackthereof album. Seim recorded it in a single day, as part of the "Twenty Song Challenge," a game that musicians play in which everyone goes off and writes and records 20 songs in 12 hours. They get together at the end of the day to play each other results. The finest record goes onto win the Grammy for album of the year, and the losers are sacrificed in a bloody, carnal ceremony.
Okay, that last sentence is not true. Actually, it is not a competition at all, and it sounds like everyone else who participated in Seim's challenge also made stunningly great records. Seim, for his part, got through the marathon recording process by "finding lyrical inspiration in cheesy self-help websites, using as many instruments as I had in my little house, and sprinkling in a few shredded samples from a Nick Jaina album (Nick was sort of the one who persuaded me to take The Challenge that day, so i thought i'd give him a little aural shout-out)."
And the results are Lackthereof's next album—and as mentioned, it is available for free download over on Menomena's site. Seim ended up making its 20 short pieces all fit in to part of a larger whole, with the album now playing as a single seamless MP3. That's the album cover up there, a picture of Memomena bandmate Justin Harris holding up a painting Seim made of The Room's Tommy Wiseau. Speaking of Menomena, they are apparently two weeks away from finishing the recording of their next album.
SEX SL Letter of the Day: Life Sentence
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 10:28 AM
I am an 20 year-old male in a serious long-distance relationship. I have been seeing this girl for over a year, and I know I love her. I can't wait to see her and feel as if the emotional connection between us will not weaken, and she feels the same way. The problem is the sex-life (or the lack there-of).We see each other once every couple months, which isn't a problem for me. In the in-between time I have masturbation and it's enough to satisfy my high libido while we are apart. The issue is that when we do see each other, she seems a borderline prude, and feels uncomfortable with me touching her. She has a very low libido and claims not to masturbate. While I understand that everyone has their personal boundaries and sexual preferences, I have a hard time getting used to this kind of anti-sexual encouragement. I don't want to be an asshole and I also don't know what to do. I will stay with her regardless, I love her, and the love we share means more to me than anything. But I feel this issue may cause problems in the future.
Am I being selfish? Will things change?
Love Interest's Bed Issues, Desiring Orgasms
My response after the jump...
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Religion / History / Horrors Kirk Cameron Makes Doc About America's "Growing Pains" (GET IT?!?!?)
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 10:14 AM
You know, I think it's unfair that us devil worshippers have all the awesome celebrities on our side (Louis CK, Emma Stone, Ernest Borgnine) while Christians barely have anybody. But the "anybody" they DO have is pretty awesome, and that "anybody" is KIRK MOTHER-BONING CAMERON—best known as Mike Seaver from Growing Pains, and star of the hilariously amazing X-tian films Left Behind and Fireproof.
So what's Kirk up to now? He's taking a break from histrionic fiction to direct and star in a new documentary ("documentary" means it's REAL, yo) about how America is a land of shit, and what we can do to fix it. It's called Monumental, it's set to debut in late March, and according to Kirk, it will totally freaking blow... your... mind.
As he says in the trailer below, "Something is sick in the soul of our nation, and history tells me [and by "history" he means "Jesus Christ"] if we don't change our course now," adding that "History hasn't been just forgotten... it's been rewritten." WHAAAAT THAAAA FAAAAAAACK??? Watch this quick, because you don't want to spend another second blinded by false prophet history teachers, or missing Kirk's scenes where he soulfully and sadly stares at the sky. What are you seeing up there, Kirk? Jesus re-writing our fake history on a celestial blackboard? Ask him if I can go to the bathroom.
Comedy / Mercury From the Mercury Mailbag!
Posted by Ned Lannamann on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 10:02 AM
An email I received this morning with the subject line "your an IDIOT." I did not alter the size of the text in any way. (Presumably, its author is referring to this article.)
Tech Google Wants to Get in Your House
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Rumor has it, Google is going to get into the hardware biz:
Google hasn't given up on creating its own consumer electronics gear.The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the company is working on a home entertainment device that would "stream music wirelessly throughout the home" and be marketed under Google's name.
Between this and Apple's rumored TV, we're looking at what could be a big year in home entertainment delivery systems.
Portland "I Have Chickens Too!"
Posted by Alison Hallett on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 9:44 AM
It's like a more succinct Portlandia.
News Good Morning, News!
Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 9:29 AM
Holy crap! Outcry by the medieval-inflected Roman Catholic Church has Barack Obama promising an "accommodation" over new a rule requiring insurance plans, even those provided by people who genuflect to unelected old men in fancy robes, to offer free birth control to women.
Greece's two largest unions have embarked on a flash 48-hour general strike to protest austerity budget-cutting measures meant to keep the government from defaulting on its debts. Trains and ferries are sitting idle, but not police, naturally, who are gassing protesters.
Here's another story, like most of them over the past several months, about how violence in Syria—a pair of suicide bomb strikes, this time—is "escalating" and putting the country on the "brink of civil war."
One day soon, the water you use to dissolve your Kool-Aid powder will have been excreted from someone's disease-riddled bladder.
The Alabama Republican in charge of the House committee that oversees the nation's banking and finance industries is under an ethics investigation for "possible violation of insider-trading laws."
Proving that even animals can't just tolerate insufferable morning shows, a rescued dog annoyed at being paraded in front of cameras bit an anchorwoman in the face.
Argentina has crawled into its time machine and aimed it for the United Nations, where it plans to protest Britain's "militarisation" [sic] of the Falklands.
Equating Occupy protesters with violent gangsters, Oakland is employing the same kind of exclusion-zone "stay-away" orders it normally uses to (controversially) keep hoodlums from hanging out together in their favorite places.
After a run of police shootings in Washington, DC, the Washington Post interviews four officers who've killed someone at some point in their careers about the toll it's taken on them.
The FBI figured out that Steve Jobs was an asshole who enjoyed drugs.
Los Angeles officials say we're all stupid for thinking county officials just made it illegal (and expensive if caught) to throw volleyballs around at the beach. A new law, they said, just made doing all that stuff more legal.
FRISBEES REALLY ARE NO LAUGHING MATTER. THEY CAN HURT YOU VERY BADLY.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Mercury Gold Star: The Mercury's Web Comment of the Week!
Posted by Alison Hallett on Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 5:29 PM
Do you need context for this? You don't.
I will too, now. So thanks for that. I guess.
| Most Popular | I, Anonymous | Best of the Merc |
|---|---|---|
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Most Commented on Blogtown, PDX
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Mandatory French Fries on Sandwiches: CONDEMN OR ALLOW? by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
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Win Valentine's Dinner for Two at Central by Alison Hallett
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TriMet Budget Cuts Rundown: Fare Increase, MAX Cuts, Killing Free Rail, Oh My! by Sarah Mirk
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Let's Play the Game of
LoveThrones by Erik Henriksen -
In Which Bobby Roberts Attempts to Ruin the One Thing That Made Me Happy Today by Erik Henriksen
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Should Portland Ban Cops From Using Horses and Pepper Spray to Bust Up Protests? by Denis C. Theriault
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Tonight! KATU Wants Everyone to Be Afraid of Marauding Crazy People! by Denis C. Theriault
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New Paris Laws Give Bikes Okay to Run Red Lights; Ooh-La-La! by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
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CAT BREADING UPDATE: Which Mercury Employee Succumbed to the Pressure? by Bobby Roberts
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"I Have Chickens Too!" by Alison Hallett
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