Buttermilk Biscuits: Blogtown, PDX, Portland Mercury

Mac Is Livin' Large

Ned Lannamann — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 13:29:23 -0700

Here's a recent fan photo of two of the stars of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia which shows evidence of the news that actor Rob McElhenney (that's him on the left, under a gargantuan Hawaiian shirt) gained 50 pounds for the role of Mac this season. As previously reported, he did it just for laughs:

“It’s been disgusting to watch him go through with this adventure,” said Charlie Day. “We were a little on the fence about it for his own personal health and safety,” he added, “but it has definitely made Mac a lot funnier.”

Whoa. Sunny has always raised the bar on shocking humor, but this is a step that I'm amazed they took. While I thought the most recent season didn't always reach the heights of some of the earlier shows, last year's fantastic Christmas special and now this completely insane* joke prove they've got plenty of ammo. The seventh season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is scheduled to begin in September. Here's the full report.

*Seriously. This is crazy. This is what a crazy person would do.

via Warming Glow

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Skater Hit by WES Has "Non-Life Threatening" Wounds

Sarah Mirk — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 10:48:43 -0700

I had almost given up on the kid who was struck by a WES train during rush hour on Monday. Hit by a heavy-rail train? Air-lifted out by a medi-vac helicopter? That doesn't bode well. A woman wearing headphones was struck and killed by the MAX last year.

So I was excited to learn today that the kid is alive! And survived his run-in with the WES with "non-life-threatening" injuries. Here's what TriMet says about the incident:

Justin Leonard (born 1987) was on his skateboard and listening to an iPod with earphones in his ears at the time of the accident. The Train Engineer saw him and sounded the horn to catch his attention as the train approached the intersection. When Leonard reached the “Stop Here” sign in the pavement, he kicked up his skateboard to catch it. He missed and the skateboard went into the right of way and he darted toward it and was struck by the train. Non life threatening injuries.

Since I don't have a photo of the skater, I'll just assume he looks like this:

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Things a Mercury Intern Has to Do for Patrick Alan Coleman

Ali "the Intern" Reingold — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 12:23:12 -0800

There are certain things I do here as an intern: I write little blurbs about upcoming events; I transcribe the occasional interview; I fact-check phone numbers, addresses, and web links; I upload photos for part of the website; I post things on Blogtown and the MOD blog.

Then there are the things I have to do for Patrick Alan Coleman.

1. Cut donuts. There is a box of assorted donuts at the office today. Of course, Patrick doesn't want a whole donut and might, in fact, want to sample several pieces of several donuts. This is natural; who wouldn't want to sample all the delicious donuts? I know I do. Because then you can have little bites that add up to probably more than a whole donut, but you can tell yourself that you've been good by not eating a whole donut. But can Patrick cut up his own donut into pieces? Oh no! He can't deal with the disgrace of being the person who mangles the donuts. So he comes up to me, real sly-like, and says, "Supposing there were donuts in the other room... would you want some?" "Duh," I respond. "And would you perhaps want to cut them up to see what's inside the various donuts?" This is sounding suspicious. "Yes...." I say. Patrick stares at me imploringly. He can't even ask me straight-up.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, PATRICK, JUST TELL ME TO CUT YOUR FREAKING DONUTS! ...Or come to think of it, cut them yourself. The office might shun you because of it, but at least you can hold your head high.

2. Think of balls. "What kind of ball is slightly smaller than a golf ball?" Patrick asks me, making a circle with his fingers. "Like one of those little bouncy balls?" "Yeah... I'm trying to think if there's another kind of ball that size." "A ping pong ball?" Not good enough. "One of those fiberglass marbles I used to have growing up? [There was a fiberglass plant in my hometown.] An eyeball?" None of my suggestions are good enough. Apparently eyeballs are insufficiently palatable to compare to risotto fritters.

WHAT THE FRICK, PATRICK? DO I HAVE TO THINK OF BALLS ALL DAY?

3. Turn down my music. So I'm listening to a great mix I just compiled the other day. Now, I can make a great mix. This one includes TLC, The Blues Brothers, Dr. Dog, and A Tribe Called Quest, so it's eclectic and all-around awesome. But Patrick has no taste for it and asks me to turn it down. He has to concentrate hard on his risotto balls, I suppose. I put my headphones in. Sarah Mirk likes my music. Sarah Mirk appreciates my iTunes library and sometimes listens to it from her own computer. Sarah Mirk even asks me to put on my music so we can all hear it and enjoy it together.

WHY AREN'T YOU HERE TODAY, SARAH? WHERE ARE YOU?? IT'S JUST ME AND PATRICK IN HERE!!

4. Write blog posts about him. I tell Patrick I'm going to write a blog post about all the things I have to do for him. "Make it ridiculous!" he says. "Say that I make you give me compliments and taste test my donuts!" No, Patrick. I will do no such thing.

BUT HE DOES MAKE ME BOW DOWN AND SAY "WELCOME, LORD PATRICK, GRAND MASTER OF FOOD AND RISOTTO BALLS" WHENEVER HE ENTERS THE ROOM, AFTER WHICH I MUST LICK HIS SHOES, JUST IN CASE REMNANTS OF THE RISOTTO BALLS HAVE SOMEHOW GOTTEN ONTO THEM, AFTER WHICH I MUST BRUSH HIS SWEATER VEST FREE OF CRUMBS AND DELIVER HIM A GILDED GOBLET OF HOT CIDER AND A PLATTER OF BUTTERMILK BISCUITS.

Geez, it's tough being an intern.

Also, I feel that I should mention that I apparently cut up the wrong donuts the first time, so in a fearless display of bravery and initiative, Patrick cut his own jelly donut. We're still celebrating.

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Never Forget!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:49:52 -0700

Since the unofficial theme of 9/11 is "Never Forget," let's start with something easy. Like the name of the following product. Listen carefully… there WILL be a quiz.

QUIZ QUESTION #1: What is the name of the product featured in this video?
Extra credit: What color is the cap?

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Burnt Biscuits

Ezra Ace Caraeff — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 15:07:00 -0800

Over at End Hits we like our carbs and buttermilk products just as much as anyone. So here is our hot and flaky contribution to Biscuitsapocalypse (or whatever we are calling today)...

LISTEN:

The Triumphs - "Burnt Biscuits"

I'm no chef, but these "Burnt Biscuits" will go along nicely with some "Green Onions" from the kitchen of Booker T. & the MG's. The two bands shared members, and once, at the 1959 Stax Records company picnic, they shared some delicious buttermilk biscuits as well. Aw.

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KFC: They Do Buttermilk Biscuits Right!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 14:37:00 -0800

Sir Mix-a-lot:

We're from L.A. to the Carolinas
Dip them suckers in Aunt Jemima
Don't make a difference what food you make
Use buttermilk biscuits to clean your plate
You eat 'em in the morn', you eat 'em at night
Kentucky Fried Chicken makes the suckers just right

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UH HUH BUTTERMILK BISCUITS

Erik Henriksen — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 13:46:00 -0800

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