Olive: Blogtown, PDX, Portland Mercury

Bone Pugz

Ned Lannamann — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 14:17:36 -0700

Seeing as the Mercury's former Pug* Editor is no longer a salaried employee of the paper, it falls to me to present you this. And so, here it is. Anything further I have to say will only cheapen the experience, so please enjoy: Bone Pugz.

Thanks to commenter Graham for the tip.

* and Music Too, I Guess

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A Fact-Checking PSA from Olive

Courtney Ferguson — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:29:02 -0700

Hi Blogtown! This is Olive here to remind you that it's always a good idea to fact check your stories. SNURFLE... oh pardon me, PFFT SNERFFLLLE. The name of my new bar is actually called the Old Gold, not the Old Gold Box as the Oregonian would have you believe this morning. However, my favorite bar in town is coincidentally called Boxxes.

That is all. Now I must return to my morning kibble and daydreaming about fire hydrants.

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#OCCUPUG

Sarah Mirk — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 16:28:50 -0700

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Tonight in Music

Courtney Ferguson — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 15:23:44 -0800

Hi guys! You've been busy, I've been busy, but let's not forget the important things. Like how to use music listings. Hint: Click here. Still rusty? How about a rundown of tonight's big tickets:

Aladdin Theater—Black Dub, Rocco Deluca, 8 pm, $22-25
Alberta Rose Theatre—Jonah, Water & Bodies, NIAYH, The Angry Orts, The Shivas, John Craig & The Weekend, 8 pm, $8
Crown Room—Robot Koch, Boy Meets Club, Brownbear, DJAO, 9 pm, $8
Crystal Ballroom—Awolnation, Climber, 9 pm, $5, all ages
Dante's—Dan Reed Band, 9 pm, $10
Doug Fir—Grand Hallway, Thousands, Adam Sweeney & The Jamboree, 9 pm, $5
Ella Street Social Club—Aan, Pwrfl Power, Matt Carlson, 9 pm, $6
Hawthorne Theatre—Against Me!, Cheap Girls, Fences, 8 pm, $13.50-15, all ages
Holocene—A Few of My Favorite Things with Lance Bangs: Mister Heavenly, Carrie Brownstein, DJ Nightschool, 8 pm, $10
Mississippi Studios—Mike Coykendall & The Golden Shag, Whalebones, Pearly Gate Music, 9 pm, $8-10
Peter's Room at the Roseland—Meat Beat Manifesto, Not Breathing, Natasha Kmeto, 9 pm
Tonic Lounge—Coco Cobra & The Killers, Thundering Asteroids, The Food, 9 pm
The Woods—Sean Flinn & The Royal We, Greylag, M Billy, 9 pm, $6
The Artistery—Saucy Yoda, Grrrl Friend, Boom!, Nucular Aminals, Mythological Horses, 8 pm, $7, all ages

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Fuck You, Bruce the Dog

Olive the Pug — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 14:56:03 -0800

Oh, hello. It's me, Olive the Pug, the official office dog of The Mercury. Over the course of the past six years I have been featured in this paper and online countless times.

Recently it has been brought to my attention that the creatively bankrupt animal plagiarists at the Willamette Week have launched a blog for their disfigured corgi (or whatever mangled breed it claims to be) mascot, Bruce. This town is surely big enough for two weekly paper pups—plus, I'm petite as fuck—but it seems that in classic WW tradition, Bruce is ripping me off.

Case in point, this dashing photo of me from our 2006 drinking issue.. Man, I got so wasted off Sessions that night. Sure enough, over four years later, there is this crap. Stupid Bruce, you can't even get up to the bar.

And again, this photo of me from 2009 wearing the Fantastic Mr. Fox promotional tie. Damn I look good. So good that we blogged that picture a second time last year. Maybe that is where the uncreative WW hacks got the idea to strap the very same tie around this bloated waste of fur.

I'm not saying this is animal plagiarism—okay, maybe I am—but there are a LOT of similarities. To summarize, fuck you Bruce.

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Blu-ray Reviews: Back to the Future and Avatar. (Plus: Win Back to the Future on DVD!)

Erik Henriksen — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 18:14:10 -0800

Ah, Thanksgiving! It's one of two days a year that you're legally obligated to spend with family, trying to ignore to your great-aunt's subtle-but-stubborn racism while you throw up a little in your mouth at the sight of your mom's marshmallow-infused mashed potatoes.

Looking for a break from the nonstop family time? No problem: "Accidentally" let slip that your sister had an abortion last month, then use the hubbub to escape the table and plant yourself in front of the TV. Two recent Blu-ray releases, Back to the Future: 25th Anniversary Trilogy and Avatar: Extended Collector's Edition, can help immensely with this; hit the jump for a couple of quick reviews, plus your chance to win the Back to the Future set on DVD.

Avatar: Extended Collector's Edition

THE FILM: If there's one movie I don't need to write a single word about, it's Avatar. You either saw it in the theater and thought it was badass, or you saw it in the theater and then spent the next six months bitching about how lame it was and what a travesty it is that it made 392 trillion dollars. I happen to be one of the people who thought it was pretty badass, warts and all, in no small part because I love the fact that a movie featuring nine-foot-tall blue aliens riding dragons has now been seen by every single person on the planet.

THE EXTRAS: If you're gonna pick up Avatar, this is definitely the way to go, unless you have a 3D TV and want to hold out until a general-release 3D Blu-ray hits. While Avatar's visuals definitely take a hit minus the 3D, it's not nearly as much as you'd expect; James Cameron's a phenomenal visual storyteller, and Avatar's striking, gorgeous, and frequently weird images hold up just fine without the theatrical release's immersive 3D—and on Blu-ray, the film's hyper-detailed, hallucinogenically vivid visuals really shine. The real reason to get this, though, is the "collector's extended cut" version of the film, which is 16 minutes longer and works significantly better than the theatrical release. Smoothing over plot bumps, adding a thrilling hunting sequence, and generally fleshing out the film for the better, this extended cut feels not unlike Cameron's director's cut of Aliens—longer, yes, but also better and more engaging. (If you didn't like Avatar, you're not gonna fall in love with it thanks to this cut, but you might like it a little better; if you did like it to begin with, hey, more Avatar.) The three-disc set also includes the theatrical release of the film, the special edition rerelease, and a version of the film with all the naughty words edited out, presumably for parents who are totally cool with having their kids watch blue aliens gently hump each other but don't want them hearing any swears.

Elsewhere on the set, there are 45 minutes' worth of deleted scenes, plus concept art, Cameron's original treatment for the film, a Wikipedia-like "Pandorapedia," a 20-minute doc on Cameron's (non-allegorial, non-CG) environmental advocacy, and more. The keystone, though, is a feature-length documentary, Capturing Avatar, that goes into the huge undertaking that was making a film as batshit-crazy ambitious as Avatar; the doc not only contains tons of interviews, but also weird factoids (like the fact that every piece of clothing was handmade, even if it would eventually end up being rendered digitally), an occasional honest peek behind the curtain (producer Jon Landau openly refers, at one point, to the film's "FernGully elements"), and plenty of Cameron's philosophy ("When people wrap on time, it's 'cause they ran out of ideas").

OLIVE: Ezra's dog Olive, seen above and who I got to pugsit a while ago, gives this set four enthusiastic paws up, and was glued to my television from start to finish.

Back to the Future: 25th Anniversary Trilogy

THE FILMS: Back to the Future's still damn near perfect and every bit as great as you remember; Back to the Future Part II is darker and weirder than you remember (I'd totally forgotten that most of it takes place in a dystopian alternate timeline, and there's not all that much happy-go-lucky hoverboardin'); Part III, thankfully, isn't quite as crappy as you remember (while it definitely suffers from a vaguely desperate, Last Crusade-style insistence on fun fun FUN, it mostly is fun, so no harm, no foul). It's an added bonus seeing these in HD, too, rather than on the fuzzy VHS tapes that played throughout much of my (and I'm guessing your) childhood.

THE EXTRAS: A slew of deleted scenes, lighthearted featurettes (likeable physicist Dr. Michio Kaku damn near has a fanboy orgasm talking about how much he loves these movies), archival featurettes, makeup and special effects tests, goofy music videos from Huey Lewis and ZZ Top, a storyboarded alternate ending to Back to the Future that executive producer Steven Spielberg clearly retooled for a sequence in the latest Indiana Jones, and more. The good stuff, though, is in a six-part documentary that sits down director/writer Robert Zemeckis, producer/writer Bob Gale, Spielberg, Michael J. Fox, Lea Thompson, and more, then goes into everything from Zemeckis and Gale's writing methods to Eric Stoltz's ill-fated casting as Marty McFly to how John Z. DeLorean sent the filmmakers a fan letter after he saw the film. The stuff in here isn't as pioneering as what's documented in the Avatar documentary, nor is it as in-depth as anything on the hardcore Alien Anthology, but it's a solid Blu-ray set, and for anyone who digs Back to the Future, it's a fun watch. (It's also really interesting to watch Zemeckis in these. Comparing him now with what he must've been like back in the olden days—when he was still making pop films that were smart and funny and heartfelt—is something that's impossible not to do. It's also cool to hear Zemeckis and Spielberg riff on the weirder elements of Part II [Zemeckis says it "might be the most interesting movie I ever made," while Spielberg offhandedly remarks, "Movies should be experimental"]).

OLIVE: Olive fell asleep during Back to the Future, fell asleep again during Back to the Future Part II, and snored loudly throughout Back to the Future Part III, except for when she growled suspiciously and repeatedly at Mary Steenburgen.

OH! YEAH! AND A CONTEST! Universal accidentally sent me the Back to the Future set on both Blu-ray and DVD, which means I'm giving away the DVD set to a lucky Blogtown reader. YES, THIS COULD MEAN YOU.

Here's how to enter my half-assed contest: Email me no later than 9 am PST on Monday, November 29. Make sure "The power of love" is your subject line, and make sure to include your mailing address. On Monday morning, I'll pick a winner at random, write 'em back to let 'em know they've won, and stick the set in the mail for 'em. I know, I know—it'll be too late to help make Thanksgiving any easier, but hey, maybe it'll come in handy on Xmas.

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Daily Dose of Cute

Marissa Sullivan — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 16:12:31 -0700

All right. With all this depressing, Democrats-no-longer-the-majority political coverage, I feel like you guys need something a little more lighthearted to look at. In my house we're basically obsessed with pugs, so after getting this from my roommate today I've decided to weed out the best ones for your viewing pleasure. ENJOY.
Courtesy of Buzzfeed. More fat pugs after the jump!

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Coming Soon to Theaters: Avatars, Kiwi Extras, and the World's Most Expensive Erection Joke.

Erik Henriksen — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 12:45:50 -0700

ITEM! The day you never thought would come has arrived! Despite Avatar's crushing box office disappointment, Fox and Cameron are pushing forward with not one but two sequels. Press release!

Moving forward with the most anticipated films of the next decade, Fox Filmed Entertainment Chairmen Jim Gianopulos and Tom Rothman announced today that Academy Award-winning filmmaker James Cameron has agreed to make Avatar 2 and 3 as his next films.

Christ. "Agreed." You'd think they'd make it sound like Cameron was just a tiny bit more excited about it, instead of like he only gave in to making them after receiving countless 2 am phone calls from a sobbing Rothman, begging to know if Dr. Ripley was really dead or if she would come back as a benevolent Pandoran planet goddess.

Cameron, who had always viewed Avatar as the creation of a new world and mythology, will begin work on the scripts early next year with an eye towards commencing production later in 2011. Cameron will decide if he will shoot the films back-to-back after he completes the scripts, but the release of the first, as yet untitled sequel, is targeted for December 2014, with the third film contemplated for a December 2015 release.

Fun fact: Mercury office pug Olive, pictured above, is already in line at Lloyd Cinemas. She goes fucking CRAZY for Avatar. This is the best day she's had since she got into Ned's garbage.

Hit the jump for news about The Hobbit and the next Batman flick.

ITEM! Does anyone else get the impression that Peter Jackson might be kind of a drama queen? Anyway, the Times has the news that despite threats from Warner Bros. and Jackson, The Hobbit movies will film in New Zealand.

Warner Brothers agreed to keep Peter Jackson’s production of The Hobbit in New Zealand after the government promised to change local labor laws and offered extra financial incentives, Prime Minister John Key said Wednesday.

The deal came after two days of talks between Mr. Key and other government officials and executives from Warner and its New Line Cinema unit.

Yes, the prime minister of New Zealand was in "days of talks" related to dwarves. Anyway, congrats, 15 people who live in New Zealand! I'm sure this is a very exciting day for the very short and fat amongst you.

ITEM! Christopher Nolan has announced some stuff about the new Batman movie: It'll be called The Dark Knight Rises (heh), the Riddler won't be in it (which is sure to make certain someone make a :^( face), and it won't be in 3D. Via Hero Complex:

Christopher Nolan’s third Batman film will be called The Dark Knight Rises

heh

and though the Gotham City auteur isn’t ready to reveal the villain of his 2012 film, he did eliminate one of the big contenders: “It won’t be the Riddler,” Nolan said in an exclusive interview with Hero Complex.

Nolan was most eager to talk about the fact that Warner Bros. had agreed with his argument that the film should resist the current 3D craze and instead use high-definition approaches and IMAX cameras to strike out on a different cinematic path than the stereoscopic technology that, for better or worse, has become the dominant conversation in the blockbuster sector.

Go ahead, say I'm immature because I'll be snickering for the next two years anytime someone says "The Dark Knight Rises." Whatever, man. I guarantee you Michael Caine is giggling about that very same shit right this second. If I know one thing about that guy, it's that he loves boner jokes.

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WTF Should You Be for Halloween?

Ned Lannamann — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 12:13:01 -0700

Still struggling to come up with a costume?

Perhaps you are familiar with What the Fuck Should I Make for Dinner. Well, here's a Halloween version of a similar tool, titled WTF Should I Be for Halloween. Tons of ideas! Get going. (Warning: all of the costume ideas seem to be "sexy" costumes.)

via Metafilter

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Cute Interspecies Nursing: Condemn or Allow?

Ezra Ace Caraeff — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 10:58:44 -0700

I know it's an affront to God, but come on, it's a kitten attempting to nurse from a pug. God would be cool with this, right? I'm not justifying this, I just think this picture is more cute than creepy.

Well, condemn or allow?

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Today in Dog Beatboxing/Animal Cruelty

Ned Lannamann — Thu, 06 May 2010 15:48:27 -0700

This absolutely terrifies me. That dog seems one step away from snapping the dude's hand off. Also, the dog's rhythm is a little off. And it's not like anything can ever top this.

(Also, a quick word of warning: searching the internet for videos of "beatboxing dog" will lead you to this, which is the single most annoying thing I have ever seen.)

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Pug Teen Wolf

David Schmader — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 16:06:00 -0800

Oh fuck yeah.

Hat tips to Blogtown tipper Graham. Here's the source!

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This Is What Happens When the Boss Leaves Early

Ned Lannamann — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:33:51 -0800

Mercury Editor-in-Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey left work a little earlier today and, as a result, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. See for yourself.

Also, it should be mentioned that three members of the Mercury editorial staff are currently drinking beers at their desks.

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For Those Doubting Doubters Who Didn't Believe Me

Ned Lannamann — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:43:48 -0800

Omigod! Omigod! Since you are craving more after just a sweet taste, here is the whole glorious thing.

HUGE hat tip to Blogtown reader Kyle Burris. Kyle, you have made my 2010.

Parts 2 and 3 after the jump.

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Play Him Off, Keyboard Pug!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 11:37:22 -0800

This is not Olive, but it is your newest internet sensation. Play me off, KEYBOARD PUG!!

Hat tips to Buzzfeed!

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Should Your Dog Smell Like "Cherry Vanilla"?

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:30:05 -0800

Seen today in the PetSmart store on 82nd...

WAIT. A dog that smells like "cherry vanilla"? Is this something that people actually want? I remember my old dog (Marmaduke Goldstein) used to smell like a cross between a moldy towel and warmed-over Cheetos—but I think I would prefer that to cherry vanilla.
From the PetSmart site, here are some more details on what this "Top Dog" package entails:

Promote your pooch to top dog by adding oatmeal, brightening or low-shed shampoo, remoisturizing conditioner, teeth brushing and breath freshener. Cologne and a bandana or bow included.

Forget cherry vanilla! I want my dog to wear a bandana and smell like Drakkar Noir!

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This Was Real, Swear to God

Ned Lannamann — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:14:07 -0800

This has been cropping up on various places around the internet (I first saw it on Slog), but it's so great that if you missed it, you need to see it for yourself.

Yes, this was a real pilot for a TV show in 1990 that never got picked up, for some baffling reason. I mean, look at it! It's a masterpiece!

Or, at least, it would have been better than Everybody Loves Raymond.

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The Mercury Gambling Challenge: Man vs. Pug (Final Update)

Ezra Ace Caraeff — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 07:23:31 -0800

Pug wins! Pug wins!

Yes, it's true. Our man vs. pug betting challenge has come to an end with a rousing victory for Olive the Pug. Despite a lifetime of sports gambling, Matt Slessler was not able to beat the random picks of a pug dog, who made up for her slow start by accurately selecting nine of her final ten picks.

For winning, Olive will be rewarded with a single slice of bacon. You've earned it, Pug.

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The Mercury Gambling Challenge: Man vs. Pug (Update #2)

Ezra Ace Caraeff — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 09:24:43 -0800

Oh, what a glorious day!
We have ourselves a new leader in the man vs. pug betting challenge. After a slow start, Olive the pug is on a BCS Bowl game winning streak and has taken the lead from her human opponent. With four games left, and a crispy slice of bacon on the line—oddly enough, both contestants requested bacon as their prize—Olive is ahead by a single game. This one might come down to the wire. Feel free to make your own sidebets, for cash or bacon.

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The Mercury Gambling Challenge: Man vs. Pug (Update #2)

Ezra Ace Caraeff — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:08:54 -0800

Our once promising man vs. pug betting challenge has taken a disappointing turn. Neither human or dog has been all that successful, with Matt Slessler (the man) getting a measly 46% of his bowl game picks correct, while Olive (the dog) is nipping at his heels with 38% of her picks. To be honest, I'm saddened by the lackluster effort given by both gamblers. There are a lot of games coming up this week—including the Rose Bowl on Friday—so the pug better pick up her skills, or it looks like she'll be sleeping in the snow.

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The Mercury Gambling Challenge: Man vs. Pug (Update #1)

Ezra Ace Caraeff — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:32:27 -0800

It's clear a dog treat-based betting system is not the way to gamble. After one weekend of our Mercury Gambling Challenge, our human gambler (Matt Slessler) is winning by a single game. It's not an impressive lead, but with an 0-3 start the pug is going to need to make a great comeback.

Next game:
The Las Vegas Bowl
Oregon St. vs BYU, tomorrow night.
Matt selected the Beavers, Olive went with the Mormons. Stupid pug.

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The Mercury Gambling Challenge: Man vs. Pug

Ezra Ace Caraeff — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:42:50 -0800

The Mercury's Scientific Gambling Institute has embarked (sorry for the pun) on a mission to determine who is more reliable when it comes to sports gambling: man or pug. We were fortunate to secure gambling expert Matthew Slessler—his can't miss 5-star lock of the day: bet it all on the Minnesota Lynx of the WNBA—as our human subject. His opponent, weighing in at a portly 17lbs., Olive the Pug.

Each contestant picked every single BCS bowl game—all 34 of them—and after the final game (the BCS championship on January 7th) we will declare a winner. Slessler picked the games using a complicated formula of spreads and shady insider tips, while Olive was presented with dual dog treats—her favorite brand—on a piece of paper marked with each college bowl team. The treat she devoured indicated her pick. 34 treats later, she is still hungry.

The bowl season starts tomorrow evening and we will post updates on how each gambler is progressing. Let's just say, I like the pug's chances.

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This Week's Mercury Film Section.

Erik Henriksen — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 12:48:52 -0800

After years of hype, Avatar finally starts screening tonight at midnight. OLIVE THE MERCURY OFFICE PUG ALREADY HAS HER TICKET!!!1!!

Ever since the first glimpses of James Cameron's 3D sci-fi epic started to leak out, the internet's been full of people eager to hate on it (and eager to love it). So far, reaction to the film has been far better than I expected—it's at 83 on Metacritic, Gawker is apologizing for talking shit, Ebert is saying stuff like, "It takes a hell of a lot of nerve for a man to stand up at the Oscarcast and proclaim himself King of the World. James Cameron just got re-elected," and Manohla Dargis is all, "Movies rarely carry us away, few even try. They entertain and instruct and sometimes enlighten. Some attempt to overwhelm us, but their efforts are usually a matter of volume. What’s often missing is awe, something Mr. Cameron has, after an absence from Hollywood, returned to the screen with a vengeance." YOU TELL 'EM, MANOHLA DARGIS!

Um, I wrote about it too.

In movies not having to do with giant blue cat people, we have:

Did You Hear About the Morgans?, in which Hugh Grant and that chick from Sex and the City do their damndest to annoy the fuck out of you. Marjorie hated it.

Endgame, in which William Hurt and Chiwetel Ejiofor fix racism! Ned thought it was pretty great.

Up in the Air, in which George Clooney teams up with the dude who directed Juno to tell a story of loneliness, unemployment, and how even movies that try not to be all Hollywood-y often end up being pretty Hollywood-y. I liked it.

Beeswax, in which Andrew Bujalski continues to make mumblecore progressively less annoying. Marjorie loved it.

In addition, the Northwest Film Center has a British noir series going on (Intern Dave recommends it), Art Institute students take over Cinema 21 on Saturday afternoon for an animation showcase, Sita Sings the Blues is at the Clinton, and Silent Night, Deadly Night is at the Hollywood on the night before Christmas Eve (win tickets here).

More, as ever, in our Film Shorts and Movie Times.

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