Science!: Blogtown, PDX, Portland Mercury

Bill Nye: The Science Activist Guy

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:44:00 -0700

There was an interesting article in yesterday's NYT about Bill Nye (the science guy!) and how he's gone from science booster to science advocate—and what the difference is. (Though he's still very booster-y.) Here's an excerpt:

[Young people] have gone from watching him explain magnetism and electricity to defending the scientific evidence for climate change, the age of the earth and other issues they have seen polemicized for religious, political and even economic reasons.

He takes on those who would demand that the public schools teach alternative theories of evolution and the origins of the earth — most famously, in a video clip from the site BigThink.com that has been viewed some five million times. In it, he flatly tells adult viewers that “if you want to deny evolution and live in your world — in your world that’s completely inconsistent with everything we observe in the universe — that’s fine. But don’t make your kids do it, because we need them. We need scientifically literate voters and taxpayers for the future.”

Read the whole thing here—and let's be sure to ring him up the next time we have a debate on fluoride. He may be the only person we'd all listen to.

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Man vs. Penis-Drawing Machine

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 13:14:22 -0700

In the eternal battle of "Man vs. Science" (we beat the shit out of "nature" decades ago), robots are continually trying to best us in one way or another. Now they think they're better than us at "penis drawing." OH YEAH? WELL, LET'S SEE YOU DRAW A PENIS, MACHINE!

After the jump, my HUMAN depiction of a penis. (SPOILER ALERT: I fucking WIN.)

[Editor's Note: Image Googling "penis drawings" is a sad, lonely road one should think twice before taking.)

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"Tin-Foil Hat Parade," at City Hall Tonight, Celebrates Fluoride Defeat

Denis C. Theriault — Thu, 23 May 2013 14:14:16 -0700

One of the organizers of Portland City Hall's nearly 18-month-old camping-ban protest, poet and activist Kernel Loose-Nut, is looking to mark Tuesday's fluoride shellacking with a themed party meant to tweak fluoride supporters here and across the country who made it clear they considered (victorious) fluoride foes a bunch of conspiratorial kooks and science deniers.

Starting at 6 tonight, outside city hall, the Kernel is throwing what he's calling a "Tin-Foil Hat Parade." I received an invite on Facebook, along with a few hundred other people. And as for what the "parade" entails? It's exactly that, with a fashion show and craft party thrown in.

Here's the Kernel's rough itinerary:

6-7 design and build
7-8 foil fashion show
8-9 parade and libations

bring ideas, supplies, sharables

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Gloaters Gonna Gloat

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Wed, 22 May 2013 13:14:56 -0700

As mentioned in Good Morning, News!, today I am admittedly suffering from a case of SOUR GRAPES after last night's fluoridation defeat—but I swear I'm trying to be cool about it! Unfortunately today we're having to deal with readers who have a case of YUMMY GLOATING GRAPES. These are anti-fluoridation people for whom winning is not enough; not only do they have to be regarded as "right" (they're still not), they also want to exact the most vengeance per square inch by going into full "gloat mode." Here are a couple of examples, both received after the results were announced.

Subject: Fluoride IGNORANCE

Hey Portland Mercury,

Now that fluoride has been voted down, I thought I would take a moment to tell you how much I used to enjoy reading your paper. I have lived in Portland for three years, am an educated professional, and was a self-confessed junkie of both Ann Romano's and Dan Savage's columns. I will find Dan's column elsewhere and drop Ann's altogether after the outrageously biased MAINSTREAM pro-fluoride argument I have ever seen. Super blech!!!!

Signed a former love,

Patricia

Subject: Too bad so sad

Denis T:

I've been impressed by your burgeoning journalism skills since we met at the OccuPie Portland event and I actually looked for your articles in a newspaper I have little affection for. Sorry you all decided to ride with the assclowns from the pro-fluoride lobby. There's nothing stopping you from here on out to write about real methods to improve the dental health care of Portland kids if you indeed really care which I doubt. I won't be reading about it anyway even if you do. There's a reason we refer to your paper as the sMirkury.

Better luck next lifetime,

Christine

Nice people! (P.S. Gloating is a sign of insecurity, sooooooo....)

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If You Missed KBOO's Election Roundup (with Yours Truly as a Guest), Listen Here

Denis C. Theriault — Wed, 22 May 2013 12:29:48 -0700

It was pretty early, this post telling you to put on KBOO this morning and listen to host Joe Meyer talk with little old me about last night's ~~full measure of election results~~ thorough flogging of water fluoridation. So maybe you missed it. I get it. Wednesday mornings are tough.

But it's online now—and it makes for a nice, punchy back-and-forth. Just in time for your lunch hour!

Oh, and for the record, not a single fluoridation supporter called in. Like, zero. I figured maybe one of you 40 percenters might. But nope. You did not. We did hear a lot from people who think I'm corrupt/lazy/naive/stupid. And also from some people who pointed out that eating fluoridated toothpaste in great quantities is ill-advised.

(I confessed that as a kid I ate far more than a "pea-size" daub of the stuff on more than one occasion, because I liked Aqua Fresh, and never once had to call the poison hotline; maybe you'll say that's why I joined our endorsement of fluoridation.)

Anyway. Thanks! I had fun! And it wasn't nearly as awful as this commenter earlier today made it out to be.

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If You're Awake (and You Should Be), Turn on KBOO

Denis C. Theriault — Wed, 22 May 2013 07:44:04 -0700

Good morning. So you're awake and looking at Blogtown at 7:45 in the morning. Good for you!

Now do me a GIANT FAVOR and put on KBOO (90.7 FM) or stream it here. Why? Because at 8 this morning, I'll be on with Joe Meyer for an hour talking about last night's election results.

Because weren't they a hoot? Keep smiling. Keep shining. Knowing you can always count one me...

Bye!

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Scenes from the the No on Fluoride Party. Which Is Winning

Denis C. Theriault — Tue, 21 May 2013 20:06:27 -0700

9:42 PM: A very excited fellow in a baseball hat is saying "this is what it sounds like when an avalanche rains down on city hall." He's a self described "anti-fluoride nerd." And a "socialist." And he can't believe he's been working side by side with conservatives.

"This is how Portland comes together."

He's leading a chant about water. He's also reminding people to tip their servers and bartenders even though they're paying with drink tokens.

No one's pushed any drink tokens into my hands. So maybe that's not a victory after all. It's all over but for the shouting. And the second-hand pot smoking.

9:36 PM: An impossible applause just went up at the news that Healthy Kids, Healthy Portland conceded, announced by KC Hanson.

"I love you guys," she says.

People have talking about text messages of congratulations and love coming from relatives all around the country. That affection went on display on stage right after Kristen Robison, campaign manager, got on stage.

"Portland has spoken and sent a message," said Robison, basking after a victory over some of the most high-powered Democratic campaign consultants in the state. "Thank you, every last one of you."

Kim Kaminski, director of Clean Water Portland, then got up to offer thanks and to bask in the crowd's adoration.

"I'm so grateful to everyone who came forward," she said, "and did this and helped to protect our water."

Clifford Walker of the NAACP and former city commissioner Mike Lindberg also took their bows. Lindberg, who wrote an Oregonian op-ed about his health problems and doctor's urging not to drink fluoridation, called our water "sacred."

"No victory has been as sweet as this one," he said. "We also feel a good public process should be just."

Rick North, another fluoride fighter, actually compared this to the United States beating the Russians in hockey in 1980. Soviet Russia. He called tonight "the biggest upset" since then, never mind Portland's predilection for voting against fluoride. Hell, Oregon couldn't even fluoridate water, losing the battle in the Legislature 40 years ago.

AND BONUS! I've only been mocked once by someone over the paper's fluoride endorsement. So that's also a victory.

9:07 PM: Fluoridation did a little bit worse with the next round of updates, trailing 61 percent to 39 percent.

"61 percent," KC Hanson shouted. "You do the math." The PA system still isn't working so well.

The crowd here has swollen up a bit. And we've just been treated to our first musical interlude. Rick North, a longtime fluoride fighter, earlier told TV cameras that he thought the message that real people would be harmed by fluoride, the stuff of testimonials shown by opponents, was what put things over the top.

It's been festive. What I thought was a skunk out on NW 14th might not actually be. But there's still some anger. When the TV cameras showed the other party, people booed. And when the results at 9 were shouted out, one guy replied with: "Get the fuckers out of office."

Original post: "What do you think? Is it going to be a close vote?"

This is the question I get from Mike Bluehair, devoted fluoridation foe and Occupy Portland mainstay, at the Clean Water Portland party over at On Deck Sports Bar. He's being rather gracious, remembering that the Mercury has endorsed in favor of fluoridation.

I confess that, no, I don't think it will be close. He laughs. "We'll kill them, right?" I nod. We're waiting for the first wave of results to spill in from Multnomah County, in a crowd of maybe 75 or so supporters. He's telling me about the volunteers who've been coming out of the woodwork. And he says he'll be glad when he doesn't have to talk about it anymore.

"I'm gonna look forward to not having to argue," says Mike. "It's been stressful."

The PA system isn't so good here. They've abandoned it.

It doesn't matter. Fluoride is ahead 60 percent to 40 percent in early returns. And the crowd erupts with hoot and claps.

"We are proud. We are Portland. We care about our community," says one woman, shouting over the din. "We are here tonight to celebrate with one another."

She went on to mention the rapprochement that's due next after months of heated infighting and odd political bedfellows. She wants people to be magnanimous. It's easier to say this because they're winning.

"There are good people who believe perfectly the opposite of what we did," she says. "As a community, as Portland, we need to come together. I know you guys will."

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Best Day in Science Class EVARRRR!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Tue, 21 May 2013 10:44:00 -0700

Look, science teachers! I GET IT. You want to really involve your students by showing them science in action. But don't forget—sometimes science turns around and bites you in the ass... as was the case in this high school class, which goes hilariously wrong and turns into the best science experiment EVARRRRR!

via

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White People More Likely to See Anger in Obama's Expressions

Eli Sanders — Tue, 21 May 2013 09:44:00 -0700

You probably suspected it was true. Now a study says: It's true.

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Fluoride 2013: Let's Just Start Drinking a Poison We All Agree On (Hint: It's Alcohol)

Denis C. Theriault — Mon, 20 May 2013 16:08:00 -0700

Portland's fluoride fight, presumably settled tomorrow, is drawing bemused headshaking from all around the country—even up north in Seattle, where I spent a few minutes this morning talking about fluoride on KIRO-AM (710).

But let's be honest here. The polling is looking terrible for fluoride. And despite our own personal best attempts to fire people up about why fluoridation makes sense, the "anti" side has always been able to draw on a far deeper reserve of passion and vigor. (And if your mind isn't made up by now, it's probably too late. So don't worry.) So what's left to discuss? At this point, pretty much the two camps' respective ELECTION NIGHT parties.

For those who enjoy crashing such things:

CLEAN WATER PORTLAND
On Deck Sports Bar (trivia: where mayoral candidate Max Brumm once toasted his friends and loved ones)
910 NW 14th
Doors open at 7:30

and

HEALTHY KIDS HEALTHY PORTLAND
Curious Comedy Theater (because of the past nine months?)
5225 NE MLK
Doors open at 7

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KATU Poll Brings Bad News for Fluoridation Campaign

Denis C. Theriault — Thu, 16 May 2013 17:29:32 -0700

A KATU/SurveyUSA poll of some 600 likely voters—coming out just days before Tuesday's election—has fluoridation down 53 percent to 40 percent, with only eight percent over respondents listing themselves as undecided.

That's pretty much a worst-case scenario for fluoridation supporters, including the Mercury (our endorsement is here) and every other major newspaper in Portland. The same poll last week showed 14 percent of voters undecided, with 48 percent opposed and 39 percent in favor—implying that as people figure out how they want to vote, most are breaking toward the opposition.

The phrasing of a poll question is always interesting. A bad question led a lot of people to write off the arts tax when polls showed it lagging—only to win with 62 percent of the vote. But in this case, it's impossible to blame the phrasing—which is pretty straight-up:

On the ballot measure concerning the fluoridation of Portland's drinking water supply, are you ... Certain to vote yes? Certain to vote no? Or not certain?

The crosstabs are filled with good tidbits. Fluoride is up big among "affluent" voters, but doing awfully among people who aren't and people who still have land lines. But here's an even more interesting detail, especially in a low-turnout election where every ballot actually in hand counts: Among respondents who said they already turned in ballots, fluoridation is losing BIG.

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They Need More To Do On the International Space Station

Dan Savage — Mon, 13 May 2013 11:14:31 -0700

Via TPM. Says Josh:

When I first saw this I couldn’t tell if it was cringeworthy or simply awesome. But listening to the whole thing I’m gravitating heavily toward option two. This is Chris Hadfield, commander of the International Space Station, performing Bowie’s Space Oddity from … well, space.

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Cultured Meat

Eli Sanders — Mon, 13 May 2013 09:45:00 -0700

Behold, the artificial hamburger, created in a plastic cylinder for your enjoyment:

The hamburger, assembled from tiny bits of beef muscle tissue grown in a laboratory and to be cooked and eaten at an event in London, perhaps in a few weeks, is meant to show the world — including potential sources of research funds — that so-called in-Vitro meat, or cultured meat, is a reality.

Does it make it extra appetizing to know that it's environmentally friendly?

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World's Best Astronaut: Still the World's Best Astronaut

Erik Henriksen — Mon, 06 May 2013 09:44:00 -0700

As Alison noted on Friday, Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield is the world's best astronaut. His time in orbit has been spent doing all sorts of science-y space things, I'm sure, but he's also been making fantastic videos for all of us poor bastards who're trapped on Earth (not to mention doing things like discussing the intricacies of space travel with James T. Kirk). All this week, he's going to be talking about how our senses operate in space, and yes. He is the world's best astronaut.

Via @CanadianSpaceAgency, which, due to the fact that they have a Chris Hadfield and NASA does not, is currently kicking NASA's ass.

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World's Best Astronaut Continues Being World's Best Astronaut

Alison Hallett — Fri, 03 May 2013 15:29:00 -0700

I am in love with International Space Station Commander Chris Hadfield. His videos from the space station pretty much justify the existence of the internet. See: Wringing out a washcloth in space and brushing your teeth in space. (He swallows his toothpaste, OH NOOOO!)

Hadfield will be returning from orbit on May 13; the Independent has a nice look at how Hadfield has used social media to share incredibly cool snapshots of life in in space. quote from his kid:

[His] winning combination of profundity and giddy enthusiasm is not new to Hadfield's son Evan. "It's tough not to be biased," he says from Germany, where he lives, "but Dad's one of those people who only come along every once in a while."

Read it! SPACE!

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The City Club STILL Likes Fluoride

Dirk VanderHart — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 08:07:51 -0700

The City Club of Portland has been trying to get fluoride into the city's drinking water for almost 60 years. So the central conclusion of a report the club sent to media outlets Wednesday—with strict instructions it wasn't to be reported on until this morning—comes as no surprise: the City Club still wants our water to have fluoride.

At least, one of its committees does.

"The general scientific consensus and 65 years of experience in other communities demonstrate that fluoride is safe at the recommended level that will be implemented in Portland's water supply," reads a majority recommendation from the committee that authored the document, "and that it is an effective way to reduce dental cavities and to promote dental health in an equitable manner."

As with anything surrounding this bitterly contentious debate, though, the matter is not so clear cut. The report also contains a minority opinion.

"The minority feels that fluoridating the public water supply will be done without the informed consent of some portion of the Portland population," the report reads. "Further the minority believes that fluoride, used to reduce cavities, is best administered in a doctor's or dentist's office."

The club will take a formal stance on the issue later this month.

Meanwhile, Measure 26-151—which would authorize fluoridation of the water supply—will be decided by voters on May 21. Council first approved fluoridation in September, but opponents gathered enough signatures to put the matter on a ballot.

If approved, fluoridation would cost roughly $5 million to implement—paid with water rates—with significant yearly expenses after.

Proponents say it's an effective way of raising the city's overall dental health, and is particularly vital for low-income adults and children.

Opponents fear the mineral could have adverse health effects, and contend Portland's water is fine the way it is.

The City Club took pains to insist Mayor Sam Adams, now the group's executive director, had nothing to do with the report.

"Due to Sam’s work on fluoridation as Mayor, Sam has had no involvement with the committee, their research, or the report," Policy Director Greg Wallinger said in an e-mail. "He physically recused himself from the Board of Governors discussion and vote on the report."

It's not like they'd need Adams' encouragement. The report details five previous efforts by the club to get fluoride into the city's water supply. They date back to 1956, when a host of American cities were following the example of early fluoridator Grand Rapids, Mich.

Here, a helpful chart from the report about the effects of oral disease:

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Hold Onto Your Butts! It's Jurassic Park 3D!

Elinor Jones — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 09:44:00 -0700

This is me right now:

Ahem. Here we go.

So we're old, and it’s been 20 years since the game-changing Jurassic Park came out. I bet that since that time, you, like me, got obsessed, got it on VHS, watched it too many times, eventually gave the VHS to Goodwill, then maybe found an old roommate’s DVD, or caught pieces of it on TNT a bunch, and every time it seemed awesome, but you thought maybe it was just the nostalgia, because surely not everything that seemed cool in 1993 is actually all that cool.

But you guys: You’re wrong. It’s not just the nostalgia. Jurassic Park is still. Fucking. Fantastic.

And get this: in IMAX and 3D, it's better.

The dinosaurs are louder, huger, and badasser than you have ever seen them before. On the giant screen, with the volume set to “loud as shit,” this rerelease made me feel 10 years old again: small, scared, and totally awestruck. The conversion to 3D is not without some bumps, but at the most important times—like when the T-rex is trying to eat Tim and Lex in the Jeep, and whenever Jeff Goldblum has his shirt off—everything works beautifully. Beautifully! God I love this movie.

Aside from Lex getting excited over an interactive CD-ROM and calling herself a hacker, everything has held up with time. The only thing that could have made this rewatch better is if I’d let myself get pregnant eight years ago so I could have taken a kid to see it for the first time. I was actually jealous of parents with kids at the screening. That never, ever happens.

Sidebar: While obsessing about the movie in anticipation of the screening, I discovered this gem:

“A baby triceratops was built for a scene where one of the kids rides it. Special effects technicians worked on this effect for a year but the scene was cut at the last minute as Steven Spielberg thought it would ruin the pacing of the film.”

That does not have anything else to do with this review, but let the record reflect that I will buy whatever future Blu-ray release has this deleted scene. Also, I first read that as “baby tyrannosaurus rex” instead of baby triceratops, and how sweet would that have been?!

Sidebar sidebar: A kid riding a little T-rex makes me think of the human/dino hybrids that will NOT be in JP4 and now I’m mad about that all over again. Moving on.

Okay, yes, it is kind of bullshit for a studio to rerelease something that already made a bajillion dollars with the cynical intention of making a bajillion more, but come on. It’s fucking Jurassic Park. It is always wonderful, best on the big screen, and you don’t have to beg for an advance on your allowance to see it this time. Even though it’s been around for 20 years, you should, without a doubt, pay $20 to see it again.

Jurassic Park 3D opens today. Showtimes are here.

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Too Smart? Try the MinusIQ Pill!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 10:44:52 -0700

If you are tired of feeling like you're in the minority—and by that I mean the smartest person in the room—you may want to try the latest in IQ-lowering pharmaceuticals, called MinusIQ. Let Dr. Cornelius Grouppe explain. NOTE: If you are a regular commenter on Blogtown (with the possible exception of three of you), there's no need for you to watch the following.

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The Cooties of Full-Contact Sports

Courtney Ferguson — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 16:25:27 -0700

There's been a hubbub among roller derbers (hmm?) over the last couple days about a scientific study that's been making the internet rounds—all about germs and full-contact sports. Basically after an hour of sweating and slamming into each other, roller derby players have a different batch of microbes covering their bodies after a game than when they started. Yeah, eeew. That's the opposing team all over 'em. It's a really interesting scientific study that was conducted during a big derby tournament in Eugene, where scientist/roller derby gal Jessica Green, director of the Biology and Built Environment Center at the University of Oregon, and her fellow scientists swabbed skaters' arms before a game and then after the game. The after results showed that scientists could no longer accurately say which swabbings were from which team—all skaters' microbes (AKA the good and bad bacteria and viruses that live on our skin, AKA cooties*) had commingled considerably. Which kinda seems like a no-duh—of course, you're going to exchange bacteria with all that skin-to-skin hitting—but it raises a lot of questions, like how long those different cooties stick around, the health benefits of hosting other people's good microbes, and how teams share much of the same microbial makeup throughout their seasons. As I saw one skater describe it, maybe that's why individual teams have individual aromas (again ewwww, but cool, teammies sharing smellies). Check it out, it's a good read!

* Hey, I'm no scientist.

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Penguin Hookers. Really.

Alex Falcone — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 11:59:05 -0800

Very important information has recently come to my attention. Some penguins are prostitutes.

We all know humans do it. Some people will even show their boobs to a prison guard for a chocolate chip cookie, but penguins?! Those adorable animals dressed like banquet waiters who engage in Morgan Freeman-narrated lifelong monogomy? Yes. They're prostitutes.

It's not exactly new news but an alert reader Jake H. pointed me towards a 1998 study that somehow didn't make it to my daily reading habits because it's too amazing. Apparently when the small rocks they use to make nests get scarce, some penguins will exchange sexual favors for them. Not only do they prostitute themselves, they do it for pebbles!

According to this excellent Wikipedia article, prostitution has also been observed in chimpanzees, Capuchin monkeys, and the crab-eating macaque. That's not super surprising: chimpanzees and Capuchins are gross. And of course something called a "crab-eating macaque" would sell its body (am I right ladies?). But penguins? PENGUINS? I feel let down.

Read some more about the behavior (and make sure to hear Morgan Freeman's voice in your head):

The female penguins observed under the study were coupled with males. The females will go outside alone to collect pebbles, but the males did not suspect their female partners. According to the observations and analysis made by Hunter, the prostitute penguins targeted single males, because if instead they picked a male penguin with a partner, the male penguin's current partner will come in conflict with the prostitute female.

All that stuff about sitting on the egg waiting for their partners to come back is less romantic when you know they're being cuckolded. You're not a faithful husband penguin, you're a fool. While you're making dinner for your unborn chick, your woman is out Roxanning it up for building materials, perhaps sucking a macaque or two.

Today is a sad, sad day. Well, some day in 1998 was a sad day, but I've fallen behind on my penguin sex Wikipedia reading.

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Hey Funny Voice Lovers! Meet the "Anti-Helium"!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:14:39 -0800

You know what happens and how you sound when you inhale helium right? Well, Neil Patrick Harris and Kelly Rippa inhale sulfur hexafluoride—and the results may surprise you!

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Rocket Glam: On the Ground with NASA Social

Robert B. Fortney — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 14:29:00 -0800

[Mercury friend Robert Fortney recently went to Vandenberg Air Force Base for a NASA social, where he had VIP access to a rocket launch. We think rockets are neat, so we asked him to blog about his experience.- Eds]

It’s 7:30 A.M. I’m standing in front of the South Gate of Vandenberg Air Force Base, trying my best to shield my cold hands from the freezing air that belies every PRcampaign produced about “Sunny California.” The crowd of strangers gathering around me looks just as spasmodic as I feel—but little of that has anything to do with the cold.

Most of us, I’d imagine, would brave harsher extremities than this for the chance to participate in the next two days of activities NASA has in store for us. I'm not here as a member of the press or because I've achieved anything of importance. I'm here because of a life-long fascination with space; and because, after years of
applying, I was finally chosen to take part in a NASA Social.

This series of events (open to anyone with a social media account) is described on NASA's website as a way to "provide NASA followers with the opportunity to go behind-the-scenes at NASA facilities and events and speak with scientists, engineers, astronauts and managers.” This particular event—the reason 80 strangers are happily stammering in the cold—is for VIP access to both the logistics and actual launch of the world's longest running series of Earth-observing satellites, known as the Landsat Data Community Mission (LDCM). That $855 million dollar payload will ride atop an Atlas V rocket to reach its projected polar orbit 400 miles above us.

The day's activities start when a serious looking man calls out each of our names and hands us our security passes; white pieces of paper with an intimidating warning about staying out of unauthorized areas and marked with an official stamp from the Department of the Air Force.

That warning will give me pause during the live NASA TV broadcast when, at 10:08 A.M. I tweet, "Hearing so many brilliant engineers, scientists, etc... And all I can think at this point is, do I need Sec Clearance to run to restroom." After introducing myself as a "Neurotic Artist," at the beginning of the broadcast, and realizing how truly awkward it sounded as I looked up to meet the confused eyes of that esteemed crowd, I thought it best to play it safe from there on. I eventually gather the courage to find what is easily the most immaculate restroom I've ever stepped foot in, and stop myself from tweeting something about the effectiveness of military toothbrushes.

The rest of the day proves to be a captivating whirlwind of unprecedented access to Mission Control, a ballistic missile museum, and a massive launch complex known as SLC-6 (pronounced as "Slick-Six"). By 3:30 P.M., my childlike enthusiasm for all things space has faded into exhausted indifference. I notice Amy, a travel blogger from Silicon Valley, passed out on the bus seat across from me and feel less guilty.

That afternoon sluggishness completely recedes the moment I catch a glimpse of the Atlas V rocket on our approach to SLC-3. "Look at that beautiful bird!" someone cries. Other than the actual launch, this is why we're all here. The promise of standing a stone's throw away from an actual launch vehicle.

I hear squeals as our bus crawls past a formidable security gate and stops before the grey structure that envelops the rocket like an industrial space barn. We shuffle out of the bus and marvel at the magnificent structure before us. We're so close I can actually hear the steady hiss of what I can only assume are the rocket's environmental controls.

A voice addresses the crowd. It's our surprise guest, the current Administrator of NASA, Charles Bolden. It's as if a rock star just appeared. My fellow attendees huddle around him. I'm uneasy in crowds so I back up as far as I can to soak it all in from a comfortable distance.

I still can't believe I'm standing here. I silently plead with my phone's near-dead battery life to just give me enough time to take one last shot of this unforgettable moment. My phone dies.
Launch day; 9:30 A.M.; Providence Landing Park. 9 miles from SLC-3

After everything this group experienced the previous day, our appetite for a successful launch is indescribable. I'm staring at the distant rocket with a pair of binoculars, leaning over the low wall of an outdoor clubhouse reserved for our exclusive use. It's the perfect viewing area, offering a direct line of sight to the launch complex (SLC-3) and a hilltop view of the surrounding park area.

Beyond these walls, a stream of new arrivals hunt for empty pockets of grass. An Air Force rock band belts out of a cover of Yes' “Roundabout,” adding to the park’s festival-like atmosphere. As showtime nears, rock music is replaced by a garbled transmission of status reports. A voice behind me proudly proclaims, "they've patched in Mission Control!" The romantic use of words like "patched-in" increases exponentially as the minutes tick on. If there's ever a time to use all those cool words heard in a lifetime's worth of space dramas — it's most certainly now.
A multitude of voices begins to sound-off a procession of mission readiness, one launch station after the other:
"GO..."
"GO..."
"GO..."
The affirmative sound-off’s reach a stirring crescendo when a deep, authoritative voice announces, "YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO LAUNCH." The crowd around me erupts into hoots, hollers, and applause. My spine tingles.
"T-minus 4 minutes and counting," the modulated voice pronounces. More tingles.

Ethan taps me on my shoulder to tell me that astronaut Piers Sellers is standing beside me. I accidentally crash into him as I back away to get a wide-shot of the crowd hovering over the wall. Piers brushes it off without giving it a second thought and turns his attention back to the launch complex. The countdown is now at "T-minus 1 minute and 50 seconds."

At "T-minus 1 minute and 20 seconds," the entirety of the crowd is DEAD SILENT. It has become so quiet I notice the faint hum of a prop plane passing somewhere above us. I’ll find out later why. I rush back over to my spot and notice that Piers has his wristwatch in his hands, pointed towards the stirring rocket. He begins to count down along with Mission Control, then studiously describes what's happening as the countdown dwindles to double digits. I quickly realize how perfect this is—fumble for my phone—and press`RECORD.
"15....10.....5, 4, 3, 2, 1—" A thick plume of white steam mushrooms under the orange fireball cascading behind the escalating rocket.

"Oh my god, that's slow!" remarks Pierce. And he's right. I'm immediately shocked by the difference in thrust between the Atlas V and the solid rocket boosters that helped lift the shuttle. Scattered camera clicks and squeals of excitement do little to break the collective rapture of the crowd. “Okay, now she’s tipping over to go south,” Piers continues. Someone with a sleepy drawl happily adds, “Here comes the sound...”

This is my favorite part of a launch. An experience that is nearly impossible to describe. What happens now is an immediate and lasting lesson on the speed of sound. Since we're 9 miles from the fiery mix of fuel and vapor that just ascended into the sky, it will take nearly one minute for the booming crackle of the rocket's engines to reach us. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. The Atlas V doesn’t shake my bones as much as the shuttle did —but it’s enough. The thunderous roar of the rocket’s thrust ricochets off the surrounding houses, making the accompanying narration from Mission Control an indecipherable sound effect that makes the experience that much more “science-fictiony.”

The rocket becomes a faint dot. The sound slowly fades, revealing sighs of relief that collectively say, “it’s okay to breathe now.” Those tempered emotions are obliterated by an uproarious explosion of applause the moment the garbled voice from Mission Control declares “ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL.” It’s as if hundreds of people just did a collective somersault. "I'm sorry," says the girl sniffling behind me, trying to hold back the tears with her shirt. Someone calls attention to the bright parachutes floating behind us, a group jump from the prop plane that flew above us, undoubtedly timed as a launch photo-op for the free-falling skydivers. I turn my binoculars towards the faint dot. It slowly disappears.

With two days worth of space-related experiences now reverberating from such an epic close, I watch as my counterparts form bustling clusters filled with celebratory handshakes, high-fives and hugs. I see Joanne, a teacher from Southern California who’s wearing a blue flight-suit adorned with various mission patches. She’s recounting the experience with effusive hand gestures pointed towards the sky. There’s also Jessica who, like a female Patch Adams with youth and a sugar high, weaves in and out of the various clusters while wearing a rubber clown nose. While not officially invited to the event, she came with "The Roads," a group (I'm told) that follows these Socials. The other attendees regale each other with personal notes and passionate commentaries. It all feels like the conclusion of a wedding ceremony, just after the newlyweds have driven off.

"They did it!" exclaims Oscar, a young startup tech from South Florida. His tan face is flushed with a mixture of excitement and exhaustion. None of us look any different. We’re all clinging to the same ebbing high. I have no questions anymore. No concerns about the future of space travel or if the subject is even relevant anymore. I just want to experience this pure moment along with everyone else during the last remaining minutes of this NASA Social. The events of the past two days will never be forgotten. We are lanterns of joy, fueled by the spectacle of science.

See more of Robert's photos here.

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Scientifically Accurate Spider-Man

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 09:59:22 -0800

Peter Parker had it preeeetty lucky if you ask me. A radioactive spider bites him, and he only gets spider powers that would be convenient to a human? If it REALLY happened things would be preeeeetty different, as demonstrated in this very catchy and informative video entitled, "Scientifically Accurate Spider-Man." (Audio a touch NSFW.)

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Mailbox Monday! "Fluoridation is Public Health Quackery"

Denis C. Theriault — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 12:59:20 -0800

Most of the letters I receive come from one or two diligent Oregon inmates—including one who was very upset about the hard pears served up by the prison commissary. But today was special. Ahead of the coming fight over fluoridation, a passionate anti-fluoride advocate from Washington State sent us some new information I couldn't help but share.

So... learn something. And not just about fluoride, but chemtrails, too!

(The Loo toilet paper, for the record, was not part of the mail package. It's been lying around the office for months, and it made me think of former Commissioner Randy Leonard, who served as the fluoride movement's political padrone.

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A Golden Moment: How I Saved One Invasive Animal From Another

Nathan Gilles — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 13:59:20 -0800

First came the sound: the loud thumping of a soft body plummeting into hard glass. Then the sight: colorful plumage knocked silly by the cunning entrancement of the ersatz sky, that perfect illusion afforded by a window reflecting the sunlight in just the right way. “Holy Shit!” I yelled to myself.

I’d just seen a bird hit my neighbors’ window. And hard! So hard in fact it appeared that—as if by an occult hand—the chicken-sized animal had been plucked from the heavens and tossed around like some vivid marble. But I’ll give whatever capricious god played with this animal his or her due, because what a bird it was. It’s feathers were a kaleidoscope of pigments that ended in an elongated red tail. It looked like no fowl I had ever seen. And as I marveled at the discombobulated ornithological wonder from my bedroom window this past Sunday, I had to ask myself, “What-in-the-fucking-hell-kinda-funky-ass critter is this?” As of yesterday afternoon, I got my answer.

My mystery bird was a golden pheasant, an ~~invasive~~ "exotic" species native to China, and probably somebody’s exotic pet. (This is not to be confused with the much less dapper common pheasant, also a Chinese native, but now super-abundant in America, especially the plains states—hell it’s even South Dakota’s state bird). Bob Sallinger, conservation director of the Audubon Society of Portland, broke the news in an email.

And as beautiful as it is, it might also be illegal. And if that's the case, Oregon probably would have wanted me to let it die.

UPDATE: 5:30 PM Bob Sallinger just informed me the animal is legal to possess in the state of Oregon, with the right paperwork.

Here's his full response to my inquiry.

As far as I know, golden pheasants are legal to possess in Oregon and are not becoming prolific in the environment. They are listed as controlled which means there are some rules governing their possession. However people are allowed to keep them in captivity. If one were brought to Audubon or another rehab facility, we would transfer or refer it to either somebody who is qualified to have them or to domestic animal shelter that could adopt it to an appropriate home. We would not be required to euthanize it. The terminology gets confusing...but there is a difference between an exotic species and an invasive species.

The one place that legality might come into question would be if it was deliberately abandoned into the wild. It would not be legal to just dump a bird like this into the environment if it was not longer wanted..

An invasive species is classified as any non-native animal or plant that, once introduced to an environment, causes economic or ecological harm. And as I reported back in August, if you show up at an animal rehabilitation center with an injured invasive in your arms, the center by law has to either turn you away, or euthanize the animal.

Rehab centers can’t legally treat injured invasives, and if they do, and the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife finds out, they could lose their license. And how the animals are killed can get a little gruesome.

The problem is the whole invasive classification system is a little prejudiced. Some invasives get a free ride on the whole euthanasia thing—regardless of the damage they may cause to the environment—because they are "useful" to humans. This “useful” category includes, livestock, introduced non-native crops for agriculture, and house pets. Here enters the irony.

I wasn’t the only one that heard the colorful creature smash into the window; so had a neighborhood cat.

Cats are one of these privileged, "useful" invasives that, no matter how many songbirds they murder, we let off scot-free. Having heard the pheasant’s body slamming into the window, the cat ran toward it. And here comes the rest of my story.

When it got to the now shocked bird, it stopped and looked. It was obviously puzzled by the bird’s sheer magnitude. But the cat—which looked just like the Clintons' old cat, “Socks”—looked like it was going to pounce, so I, ever the nurturing moron, ran outside to scare predator away from prey. When I got there, I said something like, “Fuck you, Socks!” I had successfully saved ~~one invasive species~~ an exotic species from being ripped to shreds by an invasive species. Minutes later, the bird, now out of shock, got up and ran away. ~~Of course, I didn’t know at the time the pheasant was invasive.~~

~~Now that I do, I’m feeling more than a little conflicted. But who knows? Maybe I’ll get lucky and both the cat and the bird will be hit by a car, and the natural order will be restored.~~

Lastly, to my neighbors’ neighbors, who I accosted in the early morning with rumors of a preternaturally colorful rooster running about, just ignore me. I was obviously confused and in a state of shock myself.

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