Charity Auction: Blogtown, PDX, Portland Mercury

Thanks for Bidding in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 15:14:08 -0800

Okay, that's it! PENCILS DOWN! The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction is now closed, and I just wanna say THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH for your generosity. Merc readers are the best readers, because they are in the "Give a Shit Club"—especially when it comes to kids in need, and especially those served by our auction's beneficiaries the Children's Healing Art Project.

(Miss the auction, but still want to help our CHAP? Please donate generously here!)

For all you winners, as soon as Ebay gives us the okay that your payment went through, you can come by our office and pick 'em up (as soon as next week)! We'll be in contact with all the info you need, and in plenty of time for all you gift givers.

Again thank you so much for playing along in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction—as well as huge smooches to our very generous artists who happily donated their work to raise money for these kids. YOU... GUYS... ARE... THE... BEST! Happy holidays.

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FINAL WARNING! The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction is OVER in 30 Minutes!!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 14:28:31 -0800

Okay, I'm done trying to sell you guys! You know how great the Children's Healing Art Project is, and you know how great the art is in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction. Now's the time to swoop in and get that piece of art you've been drooling over! DON'T LET SOMEONE STEAL THE ART YOU PERCEIVE IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS. Bid, bid, bid and bid BIG, because it's all for a wonderful cause.

Of course, you're gonna want this one!

This piece by the beloved Nikki McClure was one of my fave covers of the year—so visually striking. So just imagine how great this will look on your wall! Now imagine all the holiday smooches you'll get if you give it to a lover as a gift!

BUT THIS IS IT, GUYS! YOU ONLY HAVE 30 MINUTES. Then it's all over, and they're all gone. Hurry up and bid in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction—and make this the best holiday ever for you... and some very deserving kids! GOOD LUCK!!

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The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction... Only Three Hours Left!! PANIC!!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 11:59:50 -0800

Yikes Almighty! There are only THREE HOURS LEFT to bid and win in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction! Do you want to help the Children's Healing Art Project help sick kids who can desperately benefit from art supplies and instruction? Then QUICK! BID, BID, BID!!!

Here's another steal!

You saw artist Souther Salazar's work on our cover just last week—and you can see why we chose it. It's fun, a touch melancholy, and just a great piece of art that will look fantastic in your domicile (or that of a loved one). Give your pal/lover/relative the gift of art this year! You can pick it up as early as next week—that's plenty of time for the holidays.

BUT DUDE. You gotta hurry! The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction ENDS IN A MERE THREE HOURS. Bid your ass off!

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The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction... ENDS TODAY TOMORROW AT 3 PM!!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 09:59:24 -0800

UPDATE: Whoops! I got excited, and ahead of myself! Auction actually ends TOMORROW (Saturday, Dec 8) at 3 pm. Sorry about that, but the good news is that it gives you a skootch more time! BID! BID! BID!

Kids with critical health problems (think cancer, blood disorders, mental health issues) need all the help they can get—especially with keeping their mood jolly during the holidays! I can't imagine being in a hospital bed for the entirety of the holidays... especially when your friends are out having a good time and making memories. That's why the Children's Healing Art Project (CHAP) is so important! Not only do they provide art supplies and instruction to these kids and their families, they open up a doorway for these children to express themselves emotionally so they don't fall into a depressed introspection that could actually hinder their recovery.

DO YOU WANT TO HELP CHAP CONTINUE THEIR GOOD WORK? Then either donate here, or feel extra good by bidding on amazing wall art via the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction—ENDING ~~TODAY~~ TOMORROW AT 3 PM!!

Some of the best art that ever graced the Mercury are up for auction, and they make FANTASTIC (and affordable) gifts. And of course, all proceeds go to help CHAP. Here's just one example of the many great pieces you can get for a song!

I absolutely adore this piece by Jen Corace, who is so talented, her work has graced the cover of the Mercury no less than five times. This would look great anywhere! Your living room, a kid's room—maybe even your office! And what's this? Currently it's only $77? If you're looking for great art, you'll never find better prices!

GET (or give) THE PIECE OF ART YOU REALLY WANT! Bid now and bid big in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction... and HURRY! It all ends ~~today~~ TOMORROW at 3 pm!

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Hurry!! The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction Ends Tomorrow at 3 pm!!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 11:59:38 -0800

Is it time to panic yet? YES, IT IS! Because tomorrow ~~(Friday, Dec 7)~~ (Saturday, Dec 8) at 3 pm, the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction comes to an end! I'm sure you want to help critically needy kids get life-changing art supplies and instruction from our auction's beneficiaries, the Children's Healing Art Program (CHAP), am I right? THEN BID NOW AND BID BIG on the fantastic pieces of art that first made their debut on the cover of the Mercury!

Such as... this one!

Tiger! Rrrrowrrr! The perfect piece for those who love the fast lane, this super sexy and fun illustration was penned by wickedly stylish artist Stevie Gee for the May 17th, 2010 issue (Vol. 12, No. 52) of the Mercury. Hang it anywhere you want people to know you're a bad ass.

And currently, it's only $46.67!! Goddammit, that's CHEAP! Do you know how much good, high-quality art costs these days? And there are plenty more deals for you to snap up... but you gotta move FAST. As previously noted, all bidding ends tomorrow—so if you want to help some sweet, needy kids, and score a fantastic gift for a loved one (or you), BID NOW IN THE MERCURY COVER ART CHARITY AUCTION!

RRRRAWWRRR!

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The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction Deal o' the Day!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 11:15:09 -0800

Do you want to help some very sick kids get some art supplies and instruction that could really improve their quality of life? Then help the Children's Healing Art Program (CHAP) by bidding on some of the awesome art in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction! That's right—some of the greatest Mercury covers ever (without the annoying words) have been lovingly reproduced in super high quality prints that will look great on your wall, or as a holiday gift for that special someone. BUT BIDDING ENDS Saturday, Dec 8 AT 3 PM, so act fast!

For example, check out this piece of awesome art you can win:

This piece of searing political commentary by Jack Pollock references both the Vargas pin-up girls and the old Coppertone ads, and was originally published in March 2003 (Vol. 3, No. 42) to coincide with President George W. Bush’s declaration of war against Saddam Hussein. (Spoiler alert: It didn’t end so well.)

And it's currently still at the insanely low price of ONLY $31??? GET IT, GET IT, GET IT!!

As stated earlier, bid now because it all ends on Saturday, Dec 8 at 3 pm. The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction: Help kids, while making your walls look gorgeous!

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The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction Deal o' the Day!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 14:00:25 -0800

WAAAAACK!! (That's what Scrooge McDuck always says when he's alarmed.) The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction—benefitting the Children's Healing Art Project (CHAP), helping very sick kids get art supplies and instruction—ends THIS SATURDAY. If you want a great piece of art (that was originally published on the cover of the Mercury) for a great price... YOU BETTER MOVE QUICK.

Check out the MCACA deal o' the day!

This super colorful piece from artist Keith Shore is jam-crammed with funny, cute detail and would look great in your living room—or underneath the holiday tree with a loved one's name on it! AND CURRENTLY IT'S ONLY $20.50??? You can't afford to pass up a great deal like this!

Bid now in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction—where you get great, inexpensive art AND help a terrific kids' charity! BIDDING ENDS SATURDAY!

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Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction... Ends This Friday!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 13:14:58 -0800

OMG, you guys! Hurry, hurry, hurry and bid to win in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction—where generous artists have donated their finest Mercury cover illustrations and photos to help out the Children's Healing Art Project (CHAP) and put fantastic art on your (or a loved one's) wall!

Check out this great piece of fine art that's still practically a steal!

I absolutely love this cheery piece of art from Bwana Spoons that would look great in the room of the manic-depressive child in your life. Or put it in your bedroom to cheer your grump ass up every morning. AND IT'S CURRENTLY ONLY $26??? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? Bid now, help CHAP, and get a great piece of art... but bidding ends THIS SATURDAY AT 3 PM. So hurry!!

Make your bid now in the Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction! RAHHHH!!

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Winner of Mercury Girl Date Auction: Evan!!!

Marissa Sullivan — Tue, 03 May 2011 10:59:53 -0700

Every year the Mercury has a charity auction where we auction off things donated by businesses or sometimes famous people, and give all the moolah to charity. And while I don't know this from experience (as it is my first year working here), apparently the Mercury also auctions off something called a "Girl Date" where the winner of said date gets an evening of entertainment hosted by all the Mercury's foxy/fine female employees (including interns and freelancers)! Lucky guy, amiright?! (I've heard from some of the ladies that these nights either end up pretty epic or pretty lame. For privacy reasons that's all the information I will give you about years past. So please shut up about it.)

Back to the present. This year we decided to start our night at Smashputt where we met Evan, winner of the date, consultant for Nike, comic designer, and soon to be left-leaning Zine writer. Needless to say we had a lot to talk to him about. After Smashputt, we traveled to Chopsticks II where we danced, sang and drank lemon drops. (IT WAS A GIRL DATE, DAMMIT!?!!?) I feel as though a great time was had by all. And an earlier email from Evan confirms it!

Wow. That was awesome! I had a blast, and really appreciate everyone being so great!

So who's gonna bid next year?! It will, quite possibly be the time of your life.

P.S. Yesterday Arts Editor Alison Hallett tweeted this which is Evan's comic webpage. Check out one of his awesome comics after the jump...

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And... Pencils Down! The Mercury Online Charity Auction is OVER!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 11:59:59 -0800

WOOHOO!! Pencils down, everyone! Another simply smashing Mercury Online Charity Auction has come to a close, and you know who made it super great?

YOU.

Mercury readers are simply the most awesomest people in the world, and you've proven it once again by giving generously from the bottom of your heart and paycheck to the Mercury Auction which benefits the Raphael House, who will use your heartfelt donations to keep helping those who have had their lives shattered by domestic violence.

Now it's time for us to get to work tallying up the final totals, which we will reveal (along with some of the top auction items) in this week's print version of the Mercury! So to all those who bid and won... CONGRATULATIONS! We'll be in touch to tell you how and when to pick up your winnings. And let's give a special round of applause to all the super generous businesses and individuals who made this year's charity auction so great. Be sure to patronize their businesses because people this generous deserve your support.

Once again, here's to YOU, Portland! You've once again proven you're the greatest goddamn town in the universe. Thanks for participating, and let's do it again next year!

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FINAL WARNING! Mercury Charity Auction Ends in ONE HOUR!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 10:58:54 -0800

Okay, people! LAST WARNING! The Mercury Online Charity Auction ends in ONE HOUR. So bid, Bid, BID! And remember, while snaking a package away from a competitor may be hilarious fun, let's not forget that the Raphael House desperately needs you to be generous so they can continue to offer the assistance that so many domestic violence survivors need! PLEASE BID BIG!

Here are two final auction items I want to bring to your attention!

Road House: The Play! (And Dinner: The Food!)
Road House: The Play was one of the most talked about events of the year, as a cast of Portland's finest comedians paid ruthless homage to Patrick Swayze's cult film. Don't let it pass you by again: This package includes two tickets to the Thursday, May 12, performance, plus two official T-shirts. Strap on the feedbag before (or after!) the show with a $25 gift certificate to Le Bistro Montage (301 SE Morrison), Portland's favorite source for alligator po' boys and wacky mac ('n' cheese).

PLUS! Yours truly is in this play, and I will happily buy you each a drink, AND give you a pre-show neck rub if you win this auction—so....
BID NOW.

Get Your Portrait Painted By Scrappers, The Mercury's Own Art Director!
Yep, that's right, not only is he brilliant at designing and curating our eclectic covers (and basically keeping our paper from looking like complete shit), our art director, Scrappers, is also a prolific and badass painter. And what better way to continue your egotistical streak than to have him paint your portrait? Annnddd bonus! Scrappers paints exclusively on salvaged wood and uses house paint in order to keep his pieces eco friendly!

And take it from me, Scrappers will BREAK HIS ASS IN HALF to make sure you're satisfied with your painting. He's a super generous guy, and has put his all into making this auction a success! So thanks, Scrappers... and...
BID NOW!

Last chance, people! THERE'S ONLY ONE HOUR LEFT! BID NOW, OR LOSE THE ITEM OF YOUR CHOICE FOREVER!

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Only TWO Hours Left in the Mercury Online Auction!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 09:59:45 -0800

It's crunch time, people! And with only TWO HOURS left in this year's Mercury Online Charity Auction, you have to really start watching that item you've bid on and fallen in love with! Otherwise... ZOINK! Some auction predator whose been lying in wait is gonna snake it right out from under ya!
Even for the casual auction observer, this is a great time to start watching battles erupt. (And don't forget it's all for a fantastic cause, the Raphael House, which assists the survivors of domestic violence.)

Check out some the hot auctions that are gonna get a lot hotter!

Portugal. The Man promises to play your party if you win this auction, and currently there are 33 bids jockeying for position! BID NOW.

Those Custom Pet Portraits by Ryan Berkley are friggin' HILARIOUS and adorable. No wonder there's already more than 30 bids! BID NOW.

People love the Laurelhurst Theater which is why a movie war is currently blazing over "A Year's Worth of Movie Tickets." BID NOW.

Why is "A Glowing Review in the Mercury" so very, very hot right now? Either because somebody needs some good publicity bad, or someone actually thinks our opinion on anything matters! (I'm sure it's the former.) BID NOW.

Ain't no war like a nerd bidding war, cuz a nerd bidding war don't stooooop! Check out this auction that gives the winner a walk on role (where he/she also gets killed) in this coming summer's super popular edition of Trek in the Park! BID NOW.

Last year's "Play Hooky with the Mercury Boys" package was wicked fun that included go-kart races, tons of booze and sandwiches, wiffle ball, and more! This year is gonna be even more sick, which is why a bidding war is a'brewin'! BID NOW.

WANT TO JUMP IN THE FRAY? HURRY YOUR ASS UP, AND START BIDDING! YOU ONLY HAVE TWO HOURS!!

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GAH! The Mercury Charity Auction Ends in 24 Hours! GAH!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 11:47:09 -0800

GUYS! It's make it or break it time for the Mercury Online Charity Auction because all bidding will come to an end at noon tomorrow (Saturday)! Please open your hearts and wallets because all the proceeds from this year's auction goes to the highly deserving Raphael House—assisting the survivors of domestic violence. Read much more about it here!

BUT THIS IS WHAT GETS MY GOAT! There's still a poop ton of fantastic packages going for FAR BELOW their market value. I know everybody wants a deal... but think of all the people you can help by being just a little more generous! Check out these sweet deals that are currently flying WAY under the radar:

WELLNESS PACKAGE: An initial chiropractic exam, a monthly treatment, plus a monthly massage for 12 months! Plus an acupuncture balancing treatment, and a basic massage class, and it's currently only going for $152.50?!? YO, THAT SHIT'S WORTH $1187 BONES!! BID NOW!

IT'S ONLY ROCK N ROLL, BUT I LIKE IT: Legal consultation from an entertainment lawyer, 20 hours of studio recording time, AND $50 worth of sweet threads? That's worth well over $800, and it's currently at just over $200! BID NOW!

COMIC BOOK CHAOS!: Where my comic nerds at? This is a crazy expensive and sweet collection of fantastic comics and graphic novels worth over $500, and is currently holding strong at... oh, c'mon...$152.50? BOOO. BID NOW!

HELL COMES TO YOUR HOUSE: The fantastic and hilariously talented Karaoke from Hell plays a party at your house—a gig for which they usually receive $2500 at the least—and you only want to pay $201? DON'T INSULT ME (or them)!! BID NOW!

IT'S YOUR PARTY! (PLUS 74 OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS): So basically you get event space, event planning, free beer and video services for what will surely be the party of the century—yet for all of this the current bid is only $355? IT'S WORTH $1300, GUYS. BID NOW!

And what about those five GRAIN INTEGRATIVE HEALTH packages? That's a crazy amount of health related services worth at least $450 each, and a few still have bids as low as $31 bucks! BID NOW!

AND FINALLY… What the eff is going on with the YOU DESIGN THE MERCURY COVER package this year? It's THE MERCURY COVER, people! It will be seen in every corner of the city for at least a week, and live on in infamy on the internet! Though invaluable, if we were to ever sell it, it would go for at LEAST $5,000! And it's currently only going for $122.50? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! NO FUCKING WAY. I swear to Christ, if this doesn't bump up to a decent amount soon, I'll buy it myself and put a big picture of Justin Bieber on the cover with the text, "That's What Ya Get for Being Cheap, Dickheads!" BID NOW!

Plus tons more! There's something just waiting for you or a loved one in the Mercury Online Charity Auction, ENDING TOMORROW AT NOON! Please, bid generously!

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Mercury Auction Item of the Day

Courtney Ferguson — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 13:44:46 -0800

As you all know, our annual charity auction is currently online. There are tons of incredible items available for bidding, with all proceeds benefiting the kind souls at the nonprofit Raphael House, a place that provides shelter and solace for survivors of domestic violence and their families. But with hundreds of varied items in the auction, things can get a little confusing. So, each day, Blogtown will be highlighting different auction prizes.

Time to pimp (ahem, not in that sense you guttermind) the most fun package in our charity auction: Hang Out with the Mercury Girls! The cootie-ridden boys are currently beating us right now with a bid of $61. That ain't right. We're way more fun! Past hang sessions have included the following activities: roller-skating, karaoke, drinking, bowling, drinking, eating mac 'n' cheese, drinking, dancing. The current bid for our night of hijinks is a low, low price of $41. You can barely get drunk on your own for that much money. With your generous donation, you get an entire night of drinking, eating, and hilarity with 10 lovely ladies. BID!

Look how much fun it's going to be:

Documentary of last year's girl date.

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Mercury Charity Auction Item(s) of the Day

Alison Hallett — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 14:18:24 -0800

Hello, internet. I come to you today with a very serious question. Would you or a loved one like to own a high-quality archival print of one 2010's most popular memes? Artist Andrew Zukbo has generously donated a 9 3/4 x 13 1/2 print of his now-famous Mercury cover—and the current bid is only $26! For a piece of Blogtown history? That is crazy cheap! BID! NOW!

ALSO! The Roller Derby packages Steve blogged about yesterday are now LIVE! Get on 'em!

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Mercury Charity Auction Item(s) of the Day: Surprise Roller Derby Packages!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 13:14:47 -0800

DOH! For reasons unknown (but probably because we am dumb), two awesome packages donated by the Rose City Rollers didn't find their way into our auction this year. BUT IT'S NOT TOO LATE! We added them today, and both are just itchin' to be bid upon! CHECK IT OUT, BIZNATCH!

ROSE CITY ROLLERS #1: THE SUPER FAN!
Oh boy, you're about to cement your super fan status with this Rose City Rollers package. You get a pair of 2011 general admission season passes, a couple of derby T-shirts, and private lessons. You're about to go from derby enthusiast to down-and-dirty diehard fan! APPROXIMATE VALUE: $400

CURRENTLY ONLY $1.99?!?

ROSE CITY ROLLERS #2: KICK OFF THE SEASON IN STYLE!
Round up the gang, 'cause it's gonna be a party for the Rose City Rollers opening bout. Get VIP Admission for 10 peeps, which includes two beers apiece for adults in your party. Don't know the difference between jammers and blockers? No prob! Two roller girls will be on hand to give your party the inside poop on the game, while the announcers give you a special VIP shout out!

CURRENTLY ONLY $1.99?!?

Less than FOUR DAYS remain in the auction! Go!! Fight!! BID.

UPDATE!! Jumped the gun a bit! Due to eBay scheduling, the bidding on these Rose City Rollers packages will start at noon tomorrow (Wednesday). Until then, BID ON THIS!!

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Charity Auction Item of the Day: Yeti Suit!

Sarah Mirk — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 13:44:34 -0800

You may have noticed the dancing weirdos across the top of your Blogtown screen as the signal that our annual Charity Auction is underway—every dime you spend on the auction items goes to Raphael House, Oregon'a largest domestic violence shelter.

And somehow the bidding for the package including a full-body Yeti suit has only reached $51. This suit is amazing! It could be a snow Yeti, or an abominable snowman, or a white gorilla. Three in one! Think of all you could do with a full body hairy Yeti suit! You'd never stop terrorizing the town. Plus, it comes with four pairs of bunny slippers and three super cute, handmade animal hats. Go bid! Here's the listing:

Get ready for a big dose of adorable with three custom-made animal hats from Raucous Goods—it's like wearing a cuddly raccoon on your head, but without the rabies; four pairs of bunny slippers (from bunnyslippers.com) to keep your whole family's feet toasty; and a cuddly stuffed elephant pal from Stuffed Pals. The final item in this auction needs no description, for it is simply the greatest thing in the history of ever: a luxurious adult-sized white gorilla/yeti/Abominable Snowman costume, courtesy of the Lippman Co. (50 SE Yamhill). APPROXIMATE VALUE: $385

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Mercury Charity Auction Item(s) of the Day: Backyard Chicken Farming, Starring Mayor Sam Adams

Denis C. Theriault — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:15:28 -0800

As you all know, our annual charity auction is currently online. There are tons of incredible items available for bidding, with all proceeds benefiting the kind souls at the nonprofit Raphael House, a place that provides shelter and solace for victims of domestic violence and their families. But with hundreds of varied items in the auction, things can get a little confusing. So, each day, Blogtown will be highlighting different auction prizes.

Auction Item: Build a Coop With the Mayor
A well-known fact: Mayor Sam Adams is a chicken-raising fiend who rarely passes up a chance to talk about his hobby—or show off his garden. A slightly less-known fact, according to sources in his office: He's apparently incredibly handy, having personally crafted his backyard chicken coop. And he's willing to spend an afternoon with some lucky schlub showing off both his skills and his craftmanship. Salvage Works, near the mayor's home in Kenton, is donating a kickass chicken coop kit (plus its standard offer of a lifetime supply of coop bedding) and a gift certificate.
Current bid: $123.50

Auction Item: Who You Callin' Chicken?
Okay, so maybe you're not ready to commit to a life of collecting chicken poop that you can then sprinkle over your garden, magically producing robust, non-poopy vegetables. Start off with this smaller package and learn a little bit more before making the leap. The Urban Farm Store is offering a $25 gift certificate to whet your whistle—and it's also offering a signed copy of its chicken-raising manual, A Chicken in Every Yard, plus a full-on workshop.
Current bid: $15.50

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Mercury Charity Auction Item(s) of the Day: Langhorne Slim or Portugal. The Man Play Your Party

Ezra Ace Caraeff — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 11:14:01 -0800

As you all know, our annual charity auction is currently online. There are just tons of incredible items available for bidding, with all proceeds benefitting the kind souls of the nonprofit Raphael House. Considering that there are hundreds of varied items in the auction things can get a little confusing, so each day Blogtown will be highlighting a different auction prize.

Auction Item: Langhorne Slim Plays Your Party
I first saw Langhorne Slim absolutely killing it on the Late Show with David Letterman. SInce then, I've seen the enigmatic singer plenty more times, from a sold-out Crystal Ballroom, to a stunning performance in the woods at this year's Pickathon. The only thing better than Langhorne recently relocating to Portland is the man's generosity, as he has agreed to play your party. That means it could be a basement rager, outdoor BBQ, wedding, box social... whatever. You book it, Langhorne and his band will play it*.
Current bid: $31? Oh come on, you can do better than that.

Auction Item: Portugal. The Man Plays Your Party
Portugal. the Man traveled a different path than Langhorne Slim, relocating here from Wasilla, Alaska (don't worry, they hate her more than you do) and starting out small back in the all-ages Meow Meow days. But after a slew of releases, each better than the last, the band is now H-U-G-E the world over. Like Langhorne they are also very kind, volunteering to play your event*, whether it be a private living room show, bachelorette party, briss, or grandma's wake.
Current bid: $225

* As long as the show is approved by management and works within each artist's respective schedules. See each item for the additional, yet reasonable, small print.

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The Mercury Online Charity Auction is Happening! Like... NOW!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 12:13:13 -0800

WHOOPEE! It's time once again to empty out those pockets for a great cause. It's the Mercury Online Charity Auction, and it's LIVE. Like, NOW!

In case you've forgotten, here's how it works:
• CLICK HERE to bone up on all the majorly awesome gift packages that would be perfect for you or a loved one.
• Say to yourself, "Dude. I'm totes gonna bid on that." Click the "Bid Now!" button which will take you to that item's eBay page.
• Say to yourself, "Yay, I'm awesome because my money (and all the proceeds from the Mercury Online Charity Auction) will be going to Raphael House, to support the survivors of domestic violence in Oregon!"
• Then say to yourself, "Oh crap. I need to check back often because someone might outbid me. NOBODY OUTBIDS ME!! NOBODY!!!"
• Keep bidding and bidding and bidding until ~~4 pm on Friday, December 10th~~ Saturday, December 11 at noon when the Mercury Online Charity Auction ends! And don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to pick up that gift before the Xmas rush!

So what are you waiting for! GO NOW! Go now and start bidding in the funnest auction ever, The Mercury Online Charity Auction! RAH!!!

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Outside In Says Thanks!

Alison Hallett — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:17:10 -0800

As I'm sure you all remember from the relentless blogging we did a few months ago, Outside In was the beneficiary of the Mercury's 2009 Charity Auction. Outside In just sent over a sweet video to thank us for our donation—and since the success of the auction was entirely thanks to all the readers who bid so generously, ultimately raising over $23,000... Well, it seemed right that we pass it along:

Thanks for the video, Outside In! Thanks for supporting the auction, Mercury readers! Thanks for the kitty haiku, brown-haired chick who works at Outside In!

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Thanks for Making Our Auction a Rousing Success!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:03:15 -0800

And… THAT'S IT! Another exciting end to another Mercury Online Charity Auction, and even though we're suffering through a crappy economy, generous bidders LIKE YOU have turned this year's auction into another record breaker! At first glance, Mercury readers have cleared over $23,000 for our charity of choice OUTSIDE IN! (We'll announce the final tally in next week's paper!) But until then, from all of us here at the Mercury, we'd like to say a hearty THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts. You're the BEST!

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Mercury Online Auction Ends in 30 MINUTES!!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:29:57 -0800

BID! BID NOW!!

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Mercury Online Auction Ends in ONE HOUR!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:00:35 -0800

BID! BID NOW!!

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Mercury Girl Date—WTF, DUDES?!

Alison Hallett — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 14:43:45 -0800

I'd just like to point out to the internet that the Mercury girl date package is only at $127.50 right now. We are actually going for less than the boy date. This is historically unprecedented, not to mention distinctly humiliating, and it occurs to me that the language of the auction item might be a problem. I, for one, do not want to hang out with a group of girls who threaten to get drunk and "tell a few too many truths." That sounds fucking terrible. Plus, in our eBay listings we had to be somewhat judicious with the words "date" and "get wasted," which might have led to this item sounding less fun than it actually is. (Do I sound desperate right now? I feel a little desperate.) So allow me to rephrase it: "Win a date with the Mercury girls! Get wasted—drinks on us!" Is that a little bit better? No intimate confessions, I promise—just rowdy drinking, plus karaoke or dancing or pool or whatever bar-based activity gets you excited (hand jobs not included, but not NOT included, if you know what I mean). Buy us here.

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