Misc: Blogtown, PDX, Portland Mercury

20 Fish Facts You May Not Know

Alex Falcone — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 10:44:54 -0800

In honor of the new Portland Aquarium opening tomorrow, I thought you would enjoy some fun facts about the sea creatures of the world. All of these are personally researched and confirmed by renowned... me. I'm not an official marine biologist per se, but I did watch every episode of Blue Planet. So I can guarantee that every one of these is all Hella True®.

—) In the future, mothers will tell broken hearted kids that "There used to be plenty of fish in the sea. Then we got hungry."
—) The ocean is, like, 96% whale pee.
—) The salmon's favorite sexual position is dogfish style.
—) Each year, seagulls mistake over 1 billion pieces of trash for fish.
—) Sea cowboys rustle manatees.
—) The best natural defense for a fish is not being tasty.
—) Only really fucked up crabs celebrate birthdays with crab cakes.
—) Fat fish are terribly self-conscious because they have to see scales everywhere.
—) Russian squids just use pencils.
—) Frogs can live in or out of the water so they're known as biped curious.
—) There's no such thing as a flying fish, just very wet birds.
—) Sharks have three rows of teeth and four dangly things at the back of their throats. They give the worst blowjobs.
—) Many fish look down on sea urchins, rather than fixing the underlying economic disparities of the ocean.
—) Goldfish have a life expectancy of... that was it.
—) Killer whales are actually innocent, but they didn't get a fair trial because they're half black.
—) Male lobsters spend almost all their time chasing tail.
—) 13 whales successfully copulate with submarines every year, mistaking the evasive maneuvers for playing hard to get.
—) When surveyed, 84% of fish said they would rather swim in an entire ocean made out of delicious Sprite.
—) Shark Week jumped itself in 2010.
—) Octopus evolved specifically for group hugs.

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The Big Question: Should I Feel Guilty About Dream Cheating?

Alex Falcone — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 13:29:06 -0800

[Fake editor's note: Alex has a B.A. in philosophy that he hasn't been using very much. To make his parents feel like they didn't waste $100k, he's going to occasionally answer big philosophical questions for us in a way that would make academics and educated people cringe. -Alex (in the 3rd person)]

The other night I didn't cheat on my fiancee in a dream. I was so close. The girl in my dream really wanted to do it with me and I said "I can't, I've already got a Megan." And dream-girl was like "She'll never find out." That's not great awake logic, but for a dream that should have been more than enough. I should have done it. Instead, I responded as I would have had the whole thing been real, and I remained unlaid for the rest of the dream.

I believe in ethics based on moral intuition. If something feels bad, that gives me valuable information about how it should be treated ethically. I also subscribe to the unnecessary complex tautology that if something makes me feel bad, abstaining from its opposite is a moral necessity.

Therefore, since I feel guilty for not having sex in my dream, it must be morally righteous to abstain from being faithful while I'm sleeping.

It is a bigger risk to become boring in our imaginations than to have them differ from our real world desires. While I would never want my fiancee to treat me like a thought criminal, she deserves better than to marry a thought square.

As such, any time I go for an entire night without having a sex dream, I need to apologize to my fiancee immediately upon waking.

Since I hate apologizing, I'm going to work on recognizing I'm dreaming while I'm dreaming. When a beautiful woman says "She'll never find out" I should respond with "You're probably right. And since I'm dreaming, even if she did find out, she'd probably just turn into my 3rd grade teacher and we'd ride off in a go kart and my mom would be disappointed I'm not a doctor."

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A Return To Positivity: 5 Things I Actually Liked In the Last Week

Alex Falcone — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:14:15 -0700

We can all agree everything I've written in this blog has been funny. That's easy enough. But there has been some concern that it's all a bit too negative. "What do you actually like?" "What do you care about?" "What can you come out in support of?" These are questions people ask in the comments, even if they prefer to spell it "shut up, pussy."

A popular tech blogger even took a shot at people like me when she said the Internet was filled with "300 word snark-fests by junior reporters paid $12 a post." Hey! I'm paid WAY MORE than $12/post. But your point remains, I'm too snarky. It's time to turn down the neggy and turn up the possy. Here are 5 things I wholeheartedly support and endorse.

[1] This awesome tweet

If squash had a motto it would be, "Squash: A friendly reminder that people are supposed to be miserable during the winter."
7:04 PM - 15 Oct 12

This tweet is perfectly constructed: the idea of squash having a motto is cute while the premise—attacking squash for tasting terrible—is right on. Plus, like all good tweets, there's a dark undertone posing the real possibility that humans aren't meant to be happy.

[2] This hilarious Amazon review of Anne Bishop's "Daughter of the Blood"

Daughter of the Blood is a miserable book, and this review excellently sums up the problems with it. Plus, it manages to be totally funny the whole time. Balls! Ha! The reviewer clearly has a sense of style that would be worth $12 for a 300 word blog post at least!

[3] This thoughtful blog post

This concert review had several great insights into hip hop shows. It even includes a Teddy Ruxpin reference!

[4] This incredible tweet about the presidential debate last week

In future debates, the moderator should be able to tase candidates who talk after she tells them their time is up. #debates
7:28 PM - 16 Oct 12

The debates generated a lot of funny responses, but this is my favorite because it focuses on the main problem of the town-hall style debate: people talking over each other are hard to listen to. The only way to make debates less annoying is to force the candidates to actually follow the rules. Whoever this clever person is who tweeted this, really knows what he/she is talking about.

[5] This indefatigable blog post
Yes, this one. It's a masterful example of taking constructive criticism (occassionaly dressed up as petty insults from somebody who clearly didn't read the thing they're commenting on). It's also self-aggrandizing in a tongue-and-cheek way that is amusing and helpful to the author's career.

Please leave your responses in comments and I'll translate them into compliments in my head.

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"I'm Not Modeling"

Marjorie Skinner — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 15:44:00 -0800

Here's one way to preemptively strike against attacks on your DIY Facebook modeling shots:

A couple more cuties after the break.

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Someone in Georgia Will Do Anything For You

Dave Bow — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 09:59:00 -0800

I try my best to keep my business dealings local but this craigslist ad from Atlanta, GA has some pretty great deals in it.

travisdoesanything@gmail.com

My name is Travis Broyles and I will do whatever* you want me to do for less money than whoever you are paying to do it now.

Below is a list of just some of the things I can do. I do want to stress that I DO ANYTHING so email me if your requested service is not listed here.

Things I Will Do For $5:
Stare at you for 5 minutes
Give a hug to the person of your choosing
Call you on the phone and seem genuinely interested for 10 minutes
Draw your face on a balloon
Sing Barenaked Ladies' "One Week" from memory to the best of my ability
6 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $10:
Write your new theme song
Sing your new theme song on your voicemail
Spin until I throw up or you lose interest
Rename your Pokémon
Host a conference call with you and a person that you've always thought was cool but never really got the chance to hang out with, you know?
12 minutes of copywriting

The list keeps going up a sliding scale including such options as "Star treatment for a month (I'll hide in bushes and take pictures of you)" and "Yell your name every time I wake up for the rest of my life". Before you get carried away, though, read the footnote that goes with that asterisk. Mr. Broyles will do almost anything:

*Prices and tasks are subject to negotiation. I will not murder or steal or perform a legendary murdersteal. No rapes, and the sex has to be unrelated to the payment, like "Oh, after you're done cutting those trees down, do you want some lemonade?" but the lemonade means sex, mostly.

h/t to Fuzzbee Plimpington

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A Duck That Looks Like Marilyn Monroe

Marissa Sullivan — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 15:13:51 -0700

Last month I blogged about Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe in the new movie My Week With Marilyn. The general consensus was that you all thought she looked horrible—and well, kinda dead.

Fine. I think she looks gorgeous, but whatever. Maybe you'd prefer this duck, instead.

So what do you say, Blogtown? In the upcoming My Week with Marilyn, would you rather see Michelle Williams or this duck in the leading role?

As always the result of this poll is legally binding. Thanks Buzzfeed.

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Feelin' Lucky Friday Concerts

Courtney Ferguson — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 15:49:48 -0700

Crystal Ballroom—The New Pornographers, The Dodos, Imaad Wasif, 8 pm, $23-25, all ages
Dante's—Swingin' Utters, The Cute Lepers, My Life in Black & White, 9 pm, $12-14
Doug Fir—The Mynabirds, Celilo, Sean Flinn & The Royal We, The Physical Hearts, 9 pm, $8
Fernhill Park—The Quick & Easy Boys, 6:30 pm, free, all ages
Hollywood Theatre—Gulliver's Travels: Filmusik, 7 pm, $10-12, all ages
Mississippi Studios—Kaiser Cartel, Stephen Ashbrook, Josh Garrels, 9 pm, $8
Rotture—Superfest 2: Copy, Wampire, Fake Drugs, Hosannas, Strategy, Joey Casio, Rude Dudes, 7 pm, $8-12, all ages
Satyricon—Black Cobra, Howl, Lesbian, Nether Regions, Wizard Rifle, 8 pm, all ages
Wonder Ballroom—Built to Spill, Quasi, 9 pm, $20-23, all ages

Get more floor-lickin' music listings here.

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Now Hiring: Netflix Customer Service Representative

Angela Webber — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 14:42:00 -0700

It's a scary world. When I graduated college, I walked off the stage an into a crowd of friends, recent graduates, who were still looking for work. But there have to be jobs somewhere....

And there are, and all you have to do is sell out a little bit. If you're up for something mindless, exhausting and relatively well-paying, I found that the Netflix call center in Hillsboro has an average of 60 open jobs at all times, with no experience required (at least that's what they tell me.)

At Netflix, enthusiastic-sounding people (that could be you!) talk to Netflix customers about their issues. According to a friend of mine who used to work there, “The workers there were essentially in two camps: those who hated the job, and those who worked harder to hide their hatred for their job.”

The fun thing about the Netflix center is that many of the calls have nothing to do with Netflix. There is a certain percentage of callers that want help with their account or the Netflix website, but some call in with tangentially related issues. Perhaps your DVD player is broken. Perhaps your computer isn’t connected to the Internet, or your web connection is ungodly slow. Your problem can be Netflix’s problems thanks to a conveniently published customer service phone number.

A corporate Netflix dude told me that the company selected Portland as a location for its call center because people here are calm, relaxed, and hospitable. If you are... check your local listings!

Netflix Customer Service call center, Hillsboro
Number of open positions: 60
Starting salary: $14/hr plus benefits
Pros: No dress code
Working for a company that’s loved
Cons: Your job is to read your screen to people who don’t know how to use computers
I don’t think they let you read Blogtown at work (closely monitored Internet usage)

The only guy at Netflix who would talk to me: Steve Swazey, Netflix’s VP for communications down at their HQ in Los Gatos, CA.

What do you look for in an employee?
We prefer some skills in customer management, and you need to have some computer skills. If you walk into the center, you’ll see lots of different types of folks: individualists who wouldn’t take a job at another corporate environment.
We don’t have a dress code, or a hair code, or a body-parts-piercing code. As long as you have a good phone demeanor, and if you’re good at giving Netflix customers advice off the computer screen in front of you, it doesn’t matter how you’ve pierced or branded yourself.

What do you offer employees?
It’s a step above an hourly wage position. It’s higher than minimum wage by far. But the biggest draw is that you’re working for a revolutionarily groundbreaking company.
We have changed the way people watch movies since we started in 1999. This is a company that’s changed American behavior, and that mood goes through the company. Customer service reps get the advantage of working for a company that is loved, though they often get the least pleased of the customers.
The pay is competitive, workplace environment is good, there is great light and sound, and the software is homegrown and really innovative. People who have worked in call centers elsewhere tell us, “It’s so easy to serve a customer with this interface.”

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BroadArts Yard Sale on Now

Marjorie Skinner — Fri, 21 May 2010 10:28:31 -0700

If you're in the neighborhood, it might be worth it to stumble over to a yard sale/benefit going down at BroadArts, now through the evening, especially if you are in the market for specialty items like a portable stage, say, or a freezer vendor cart. It's going down at 2006 NE 50th, and you can also paw through costumes and props, books and CDs, furniture, holiday decorations ("from tiki to Christmas"), and more. Plus the money will go to help out the non-profit, which uses live theater to show support for women and minorities, so you can get some warm fuzzies with your cheap finds. Great job, you.

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Agony-Fueled Euphoria

Brianne "the intern" Turner — Fri, 14 May 2010 13:29:16 -0700

I recently took a tumble that involved a staircase and a complete lack of grace which resulted in a "severe sprain" on both sides of my ankle, a space boot/cast thing, crutches and some much needed Percocet. YES!

I generally avoid prescription drugs, instead opting for whatever hippie bullshit DIY remedies I can find on WebMD (because it's cheaper, not because my body is my temple), but today I am chasing the dragon on coffee and Percocet and feeling exactly like this:

I LIKE MY STUFF!

I predict sobbing and awkward confessions within the hour.

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Tsunami Advisory Issued for Oregon Coast

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 08:23:46 -0800

A huge earthquake (8.8 magnitude) rocked Chile this morning, resulting in a tsunami that is threatening the entire Pacific rim including the Oregon coast. From the O:

Experts warned that a tsunami could strike anywhere in the Pacific, and Hawaii could face its largest waves since 1964 starting at 11:19 a.m. (4:19 p.m. EST, 2119 GMT), according to Charles McCreery, director of the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center.

Tsunami waves were likely to hit Asian, Australian and New Zealand shores within 24 hours of the earthquake. The U.S. West Coast and Alaska, too, were threatened.

From the AP:

A tsunami warning — the highest alert level — was issued for Hawaii, where emergency officials planned to wake residents with sirens alerting them to the impending waves. Even before daybreak, lines formed at supermarkets with residents stocking up on water, canned food and batteries. Cars lined up 15 deep at several gas stations.

The first waves were expected at 11:19 a.m. Saturday (4:19 p.m. EST). Most Pacific Rim nations, awaiting further data, did not order evacuations but advised people in low-lying areas to be on the lookout.

Ecuadorean President Rafael Correa told the Ecuavisa channel that a tsunami has passed the Galapagos Islands, causing a swell but no damage.

Unlike other tsunamis in recent years, emergency officials along the Pacific have hours to prepare and possibly evacuate residents.

More on the American relief effort to Chile here. Careful if you go to the coast today!

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I Know Memes Come and Go...

Alison Hallett — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:15:04 -0800

So I just wanted to remind you guys that SketchySantas.com posts new pictures daily.

Carry on.

(Thanks for the link, ROM. It's the best thing since "Hamster on a Piano.")

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Additional Food Stuffs

Patrick Alan Coleman — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 14:35:45 -0800

This post was originally going to be titled "Notable Openings," and the first thing on the list was going to be "your mom," but I decided against that and instead wrote it in the first graph here, as if that might absolve me for saying mean things about your mom—it totally does not.

Anyway. Here are a few things that I’ve recently neglected to post anything about.

Olympic Provisions [107 SE Washington] is open:

We reported on the charcuterie retail joint, snack shop, and wine bar awhile back. It’s up and running with USDA certification and everything. Will it be our answer to Seattle’s Salumi? Let’s watch and find out…

Pok Pok [3226 SE Division] Expands the Whiskey Soda Lounge:

To a spot right across the street. To update Courtney's previous post: The spot is indeed open. Last few times I’ve driven by, it’s looked packed. The good thing here is that there will be less waiting around in the cold for a table at Pok Pok. Also, you’ll be able to munch on some lovely nibbles while you wait, and drink, and wait.

The New Genoa [2832 SE Belmont]:

It’s also just opened. It’s expensive, to be sure. There are some initial positive reviews about the spot. I’ll get there eventually.

Not able to get in to Genoa? Try the accompanying venture, Accanto, which is attached. Probably a bit less pricey, a bit more down to earth. Check it out. Tell me what you think.

Garden State On the Move

The popular Sellwood cart has decided to move to another, supposedly more friendly, spot in a parking lot up the street after the landlord allegedly turned off their power on suspicion they might be harboring space heaters. According to cart owner Kevin Sandri, they were harboring a space heater in the storage shed to keep their goods from freezing in 17 degree weather. However, turning off the power to the cart and changing the lock on the breaker box (which Sandri alleges) seemed a bit extreme to the cart owner. "Thank god these things have wheels," he told us.

Sandri will be closing the cart for the month of January to focus on opening a second location at the Mississippi Marketplace cart pod.

[UPDATE! Mark Ross Gearhart of Sellwood Corner LLC has written to say that this story is factually incorrect. We're waiting to hear more of his side of the story, and will update you when we do.]

Wine Down Moving On As Well:

When Wine Down opened seven years ago, 28th Ave was far from the culinary destination it has become today, and Stuart Herold was cooking his menu with camping stoves. Still, it didn’t matter, the dream he had while serving on the USS Portland was finally a reality.

Today, the dream is to keep his business alive. After putting years of work into the venture, building a kitchen, a loyal clientele, and an impressive collection of wines, Herold claims he is being evicted by his landlord, who hopes to open a restaurant of some sort in the space. Herold will be out by the end of the year.

The eviction comes after years of alleged lease problems and a turnover in building ownership. It’s enough to make someone give up. But Herold has a fighting spirit. He’s found a new space and an interesting concept, now all he needs is a bit more cash. That’s why he’s planning on selling shares in the new venture via paypal:

Once you purchase a Gift Certificate you will then become a "shareholder" and you will be presented with a Gift Certificate for our next place. For every GC you purchase you will receive 20% more. For example, if you buy a $50 GC you'll get $60 worth, buy $100 GC and get a certificate worth $120. Think about it, if we can get a 200 to 300 customers to buy a one hundred dollar Gift Certificate we can keep Wine Down alive and you can be a part of it.

It’s an interesting idea. Keep track of details at the Wine Down website. In the meantime, go have a glass of wine and wish them well.

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Look, There's a Monkey on Karl Rove's Head.

Erik Henriksen — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 11:21:07 -0800

I don't know what the fuck to do with this, but for some reason, I feel like it needs to be seen. Via some press release I just received:

Crystal, star of Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, makes friends with Karl Rove on Fox and Friends in celebration of the Blu-ray and DVD release on 12/1.

Do with this information what you will.

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Just When I Start Feeling Sorry For Myself Again

Dan Savage — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 10:38:00 -0700

So how was your weekend? Mine blew chunks. First, Friday afternoon I come down with some fucking head cold. "IT'S NOT SWINE FLU," my boyfriend tells me every time I ask, BUT HOW WOULD HE KNOW? He's not qualified to rule out swine flu. He's not a doctor, you know, even if he does play one during certain role-play scenarios that I'm not allowed to write about, per his you-can't-write-about-our-sex-life fatwa. (He's actually not into medical role-play scenes; I only tossed that out there to throw snoopers off the scent. He's an adult baby.)

Okay. By yesterday afternoon I thought I was feeling well-ish enough-ish to get out of bed-ish and go see Zombieland with my son—his first R-rated movie, my first zombie flick since Sean of the Dead—but I was wrong. Modern zombie movies are loud and pounding headaches are fickle. You think it's nearly gone and then it comes roaring back when you trust your skull to the magic that is Dolby Surround Pound Whatever. (So how did that loud R-rated zombie flick work out for the kid? I'm pleased you asked: Zombieland wasn't all that violent, except for that scene where the zombie clown is dispatched with a sledge-hammer blow to the head. I empathized with the zombie clown. No sex, no boobies, thoroughly cartoonish gore. Zombieland wasn't a problem—the preview for Saw XXXXVIII, on the other hand, was extremely problematic.)

Came home from Zombieland, crawled back in bed, and only just got up to discover that... it's beautiful outside. And I'm too ill to go outside and enjoy it. Sick in the head, sick in the stomach—which is interfering with the work I brought home with me this weekend: writing up the short synopses for HUMP! films [GET YOUR TICKETS FOR THE PORTLAND SCREENINGS, WHICH I'M HOSTING, NOW], which requires me to watch some of these videos again... which are stacked up next to the bed... but I'm not in right place—I'm already nauseous—to watch HUMP! films or write up HUMP! films.

So I decide to read the paper, which the boyfriend left outside the bedroom door before taking off to enjoy the day with the kid. And I feel all miserable and dehydrated and hotzone and I'm feeling really sorry for myself and then I read this:

Stephanie Smith, a children’s dance instructor, thought she had a stomach virus. The aches and cramping were tolerable that first day, and she finished her classes. Then her diarrhea turned bloody. Her kidneys shut down. Seizures knocked her unconscious. The convulsions grew so relentless that doctors had to put her in a coma for nine weeks. When she emerged, she could no longer walk. The affliction had ravaged her nervous system and left her paralyzed.

What was wrong with Ms. Smith? She ate a hamburger.

The frozen hamburgers that the Smiths ate, which were made by the food giant Cargill, were labeled “American Chef’s Selection Angus Beef Patties.” Yet confidential grinding logs and other Cargill records show that the hamburgers were made from a mix of slaughterhouse trimmings and a mash-like product derived from scraps that were ground together at a plant in Wisconsin. The ingredients came from slaughterhouses in Nebraska, Texas and Uruguay, and from a South Dakota company that processes fatty trimmings and treats them with ammonia to kill bacteria.

And those scraps and ammonia-soaked mash are supposed to be tested for E. coli contamination... but aren't. Because some slaughterhouses won't sell meat to grinders that test for E. coli. And that's not illegal because the U.S. Department of Agriculture "allows grinders to devise their own safety plans." Sounds like a plan. And meat processors don't want to test for E. coli because, if it's found, that could trigger a recall. So lots of ground beef is only tested for fecal contamination when it reaches the mouths of American consumers: if someone gets sick, and if the illness can be traced back to a hamburger, then we'll do the recall.

Anyway. I'm glad I don't eat ground beef... very often. And I'm glad my kid doesn't... very often. And I'm no longer feeling sorry for myself, but rather feeling sorry for Ms. Smith.

And you know what? If we're not gonna have universal health care then we need an uncontaminated food supply. If we're going to have a contaminated food supply, then we need universal health care. But no health care and a contaminated food supply really seems like a bad plan. But I'm all hopped up on Theraflu, so... what do I know?

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Your New Band Name: RAPTOREX

Bart "the Intern" Schaneman — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:30:21 -0700

Scientists have discovered a man-sized fossil of a dinosaur that is essentially a 1/100th scale model of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. From the Smithsonian's website:

In this week’s edition of Science, an international team of scientists describes a new, diminutive precursor to the more familiar Cretaceous giants. It was discovered in approximately 130-million-year-old rocks in China. They have named it Raptorex kriegsteini.

At first glance you could be excused for thinking that Raptorex was the juvenile stage of one of the later tyrannosaurids. At only about 10 feet long, it had long, gracile legs, a slender-looking head, a large eye socket, and ridiculously small forelimbs which terminated in claws. While it was not quite a fully mature individual, it was not the juvenile stage of an already-known dinosaur. It was something scientists had never seen before, one that can tell us much about how its giant cousins evolved.

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8 Questions For a Man Hitchhiking Around the World

Sarah Mirk — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:28:29 -0700

When a 25 year old French guy dropped the Mercury a line and asked if we'd be interested in talking to him about his hitchhiking tour around the world, I thought he was lying. But Frenchman Jeremy Marie has an elaborate binder of maps and photos of himself on camels and boats and he has a website, too, so as far as I can tell he's telling the truth. In 2007 Jeremy embarked on a project to travel around the world while paying $0 for transportation. Two years later he's made it to Portland via Mexico, Central America, Cape Town, Ethiopia, the Middle East and Southern Europe (in reverse order). Here's a condensed and edited interview with the expert couchsurfer.

So first of all, how did you get across the Pacific Ocean?
I take a catamaran from South Africa to Panama. It was 40 feet, it was three people: skipper, first mate and me. It was a new boat. The goal was to deliver the boat to new owner, this one was going to Tahiti. I was first working on the boat, cooking, cleaning and then I got the job.

How long did that take in a catamaran?
58 days, yeah, two months. It took three weeks to find a boat that was going, too.

Were you ever surrounded by sharks?
No. Sea lions, dolphins but I was never lucky enough to see a shark.

Have you had any trouble getting rides in the U.S.?
When I cross the border from Mexico to Texas, I tried to get to San Antonio and it took three days. The area was grass and dry and I was tired. I found lifts, but it was only one mile, two mile. The thing of my project is to show that there are good people in every country. In Texas, the good people are more difficult to find.

Five more questions below the cut.

Have you gotten any trouble from the police?
It depends on the state and also on the police. I have been stopped 20 times [in the U.S.] but have not been arrested. Sometimes they tell you to get off the road right away, in Nevada they do not want to talk or be nice at all.

How do you get a ride?
The people who stop always tell me this is the first time they pick up a hitchhiker. I try to dress clean and look good. Many people here are very scared to pick up hitchhikers and they tell me it is dangerous.

What has surprised you about the U.S.?
What surprised me was the fear. I was coming from third world countries and then when I crossed from Mexico into the US, people suddenly don't look at you on the side of the road, like you don't exist. I also did not expect the streets and sidewalks to be so... big. And there are a lot of people begging.

Did you realize when you set out that you would be gone this long?
I thought it was supposed to take three years, but I have been two years and I am not half way through. Money wise I am good, I have not spent half of my budget and I am now on a $7 a day budget.

What have you left behind?
Not much, all the useful things that I need don't take up much space. I used two backpacks already. I am looking for winter clothes now, I pretty much need only a beanie. I don't carry a tent, but I use a website called Couchsurfing. I don't have many material things. If I have a shirt and a toothbrush, I am good. I am treating it more like a project than a road trip, I could not be doing it for so long without some aim. It was not like I was following the wind.

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Happy Birthday, September 3, 1993!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 16:54:18 -0700

Hat tips to WTFoodge!

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The Worst Thing About the Hospital is this Sign.

Sarah Mirk — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:53:25 -0700

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Two More Reasons to Love Rural Oregon

Sarah Mirk — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 10:40:45 -0700

It's the kind of place where an old couple can run a roadside store called Cooterville.

Which itself is the kind of place where creepy ceramic unicorns go to die.

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The Cigarette Peddlers, or Women in Shiny Black Dresses

Rachael the Unpaid News Intern — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 11:58:50 -0700

Our intern Rachael is having quite a tough time this summer, having taken off on a two-week trip around Europe. Because we pay her nothing, we insisted she continue to blog from abroad. Here’s her first post.

In Portland, I'm used to being accosted by skinny hipster kids asking for money to save the trees, save the children, save the ocean, save music in schools, save their mother. And when I lived in Florence as an exchange student last year, I got used to being accosted by other American kids passing out flyers for clubs, parties, and pub crawls. But last night, sitting on the patio of my favorite bar in Florence, I experienced something new. What they were peddling, I wasn't expecting.

The pouring rain had stopped, and sipping on my Martini Bianco, I was enjoying watching all the designer Italian shoes walk by. I noticed two pairs of identical shiny black pumps authoritatively walk up to a group of young men on the patio. I looked up. Two women with shiny black dresses and shiny black hair were giving some sort of spiel to the boys. Clearly they were taken in. Italian men are famous for their drooling over lovely women, so I would expect nothing less than full-on ogling when two thin, beautiful women wearing tight, shiny black everything approach them. Shiny black haired girl number one reached into her shiny black patent leather bag and passed around some little boxes. Smiles all around. The women moved onto another group.

What was going on? No flyers, no petitions, no exchange of money. I watched a few minutes longer until they hit up my table.

more after the jump!

"Buona sera, ragazze. Fumaste?"

"Buona sera," I responded. No, neither of us smokes, I told her.

"Okay, grazie." They went to the next table, at which there were two young women about the same age as my sister and me.

This time, I could hear the conversation. The girl with shiny black hair and a shiny black clipboard asked a few questions and wrote down a few answers. Then the other girl with shiny black hair and the shiny black bag reached in and pulled out…two packs cigarettes?

As it turns out, these girls were giving out free cigarettes to get people excited about whatever new type of tobacco product their company had just launched. I watched them go in and out of all the bars on the street, passing out free cigarettes to almost everyone.

At a time when the United States, and Portland specifically, is making such a huge effort to curb smoking, this left me flabbergasted. Portlanders can’t even smoke in bars anymore, let alone give out promotional cigarettes. Can you imagine the backlash should some righteous Portland citizen discover that people in their city were giving out free cigarettes? There would be fines, lawsuits, a blog frenzie, and someone would probably find some elected official to recall.

-Rachael Marcus

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Thank You, Mr. Ford.

Patrick Alan Coleman — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 12:41:15 -0700

Today as I was frantically searching for something interesting to post about, I found something even better: Harrison Ford.

The above web ad was so compelling, that even though I had no idea what Mr. Ford was supporting, I had to pause... “Wait. Harrison Ford supports it? The Harrison Ford? Then, you’re right, there is absolutely no reason I should not support this "it" you speak of. After all… 1.2 million jobs? Why, that’s a completely disassociated number that I can totally stand behind!”

Turns out that “actor, pilot” Harrison Ford is supporting general aviation and a petition that asks congress to re-think “a poorly conceived user fee plan.” I’m assuming that general aviation is all the aviation outside of big commercial and military aviation, and likely includes ultra-lights, para-gliders, and these guys…

You bet I’ll sign that petition. But that’s not the important part. The important part is that this web ad is so compelling, and so powerful, it could be used for just about anything. Check it.

This is a dress made of meat. Yes, actual meat. It was built by Jia Jem as a one time costume meant to be a riff on Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Some might balk at Jem’s use of meat in fashion. But that could all be solved by Harrison Ford:

See? Problem solved. In fact, you look into the sweet, soulful eyes of that sainted man and you think to yourself: “Give me a pattern and 50 pounds of sirloin. I’m making a freakin’ meat gown!”

Let’s try another example!

This is the amazing work of ~~Slovania’s~~ Slovenia's only jazz choir Perpetuum Jazzile. It’s hard to imagine that there would be anyone out there who would not enjoy the vocal stylings of Perpetuum Jazzile, especially after reading this sentence from their web page:

Happy faces give us energy and confirm that we are devoted to what we do with our hearts and souls.

But some people just don’t dig Toto, or jazz choirs. I’d like those people to consider the following:

You see? Now, aren’t you ready to watch that again? Not only watch it again, but move to ~~Slovania~~ Slovenia to join Perpetuum Jazzile, or at least follow them on their next tour? I know you are.

Thank you, Mr. Ford.

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London: Two Amazing Things I Missed

Molly "The Intern" Georgetta — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:03:12 -0700

So, I spent last week in London. And apparently I need to keep my eyes out of the gutter and start paying more attention to the world around me because I missed two things that would have been very high on my To Do list.

(1) Walk-in cocktail opens in London
It's a bar filled with gin and tonic vapors, that's decorated like a cocktail - giant straws and limes, and a soundtrack of liquid being poured over ice-cubes. For £5 you can wear a protective suit and breath to your hearts desire. Can you imagine getting tipsy off of breathing booze, then being surrounded by unproportionately sized straws and citrus? I don't think having a water sound would be too good either...but then again you're not drinking anything, so would you still need to pee?

(2) Beyonce Single Ladies Flash Dance in Piccadilly Circus
Slightly obsessed with this dance, my heart hurt when I found out I missed this jaw-dropping event. 100 leotard-clad women broke out into the dance Monday afternoon to promote Beyonce's upcoming show, sponsored by Trident. I can only imagine how confused the thousands of tourists in Piccadilly were, I bet their faces were priceless.

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New Tumblr Blog Pokes Fun at Something Called "Hipsters"

Kiala Kazebee — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:52:36 -0700

Jonas Brothers?

The above picture comes from a Tumblr blog called Look at this fucking hipster.

So I did! I looked at this fucking hipster. And I laughed! I can't believe nobody has thought to make fun of these "hipster" things before and even so...well it never gets old does it? Or doesn't it? I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.*

(It is 100 degrees with 300% humidity in San Francisco and I am breathing a mixture of liquid hell and leftover thong/pot dust from the 420 parties held on Castro yesterday. This blogger is a little...um...addled.)

Anytumblr...hipsters! What a neat word. It sounds like fun in my mouth.

*sarcasm.

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Feed Your Head with MODELFEED

Marjorie Skinner — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 15:36:47 -0700

Again I find myself wishing there was an "Inspiration" category for the blog, because today I was alerted to MODELFEED (tag line: "not made up"). It's basically just like Blogtown except if it were written by beautiful barely legal globetrotting models, and instead of tags like "News" there were tags like "Confessions." The pictures are good, the videos even better (everything from a model practicing the ukelele in her underwear to footage of an obscure thrift store one of them discovered in Stockholm), but the writing is the best.

Sample post titles:
"Hat Parade!"
"How to Shoot A Bikini"
"Berry Heaven!"
"Yum! Dim! Sum!"

Sample opening lines:
"I spent my 18th birthday half in New York.. and half in London."
"Saying I love tea is a complete understatement."
"I am so all about nutrition and diet."

Just be careful, it's awful addictive.

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