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Star Trek Releases Deleted Scene of Benedict Cumberbatch Showering to Counter Claims of Sexism

Cienna Madrid — Thu, 23 May 2013 13:29:36 -0700

The men behind Star Trek Into Darkness have thrown us ladies and boner-loving dudes a bone and released a deleted shower scene featuring a sinewy Benedict Cumberbatch in response to the completely justified criticism they've been getting over Alice Eve's gratuitous underwear scene.

Here's a screenshot of Cumberbatch showering (you can find the full clip over here):

Thanks for the pecs, but sexism doesn't work that way. Nakedness doesn't simply cancel out nakedness, and we have no context for the above shot, so we don't know where it fit into the film or why. But what any reasonable viewer who's seen Star Trek Into Darkness does know is that Eve's underwear scene doesn't make sense, even knowing its context. It was gratuitous hot naked lady flesh, pure and simple.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP.

As Devin Faraci over at BadassDigest.com explains:

There are a couple of problems with [Eve's] scene. For one thing, there's absolutely no reason for her to be stripping. The movie doesn't even offer the flimsiest of explanations, like having her get radioactive goo on her clothes after examining the torpedos. I honestly don't know why she has to strip down in this moment during this conversation. It's almost like the actions of someone with a mental deficiency.

What irritates me the most is the JJ Abrams's cognitive dissonance in trying to justify his equal-opportunity topless scenes.

To be clear, Abrams admits that Eve's strip scene didn't work as well as he wanted, but he nonetheless defends it: "To me it was a balance—there's a scene where Kirk is topless earlier," he said in an interview with Conan O'Brien. The difference is, Kirk is shot topless, in bed, after he's presumably finished a coital romp with a pair of actual sex kittens. There's justification for him to appear topless. His nakedness, in that context, is a wordless salute to his virility.

Like all blockbusters, Star Trek is a movie stuffed with dudes—dudes who are funny, dudes who are friends, dudes who talk a lot and fight and who convey complex emotions. Struggling to exist amidst these dudes and all their snappy dialogue are two women—Uhura and Eve's character, Carol Marcus—neither of which are afforded the same amount of character development, dialogue, or screen time. And one of those women's biggest moments is posing in her underwear.

That is not equality, it's just fucked up—the kind of fucked up a whole porn's worth of Cumberbatch's pecs wouldn't fix.

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Great Moments In GOP Outreach to Women

Dan Savage — Thu, 23 May 2013 10:29:32 -0700

It's amazing how all the GOP outreach to women...

...can be undone by one Republican representative at a just-us-boys congressional hearing on abortion.

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Oregon Woman Raped by Ex (but at Least Her Property Taxes Are the Lowest in the State!)

Cienna Madrid — Wed, 22 May 2013 13:29:51 -0700

ThinkProgress.org grimly illustrates what happens when state and local municipalities lose revenue and have to slash vital services, like law enforcement, primarily at the expense of vulnerable populations, like women and children.

Last August, a woman in Josephine County called 911 and pleaded with dispatchers to send police—“my ex-boyfriend is trying to break into my house. I’m not letting him in but he’s like, tried to break down the door and he’s tried to break into one of the windows.” The woman had good reason to be afraid of this man, as she told the dispatcher on the other side of the phone, this same abusive ex had put her in the hospital just a few weeks before. But the dispatcher has no one to send. Because the local sheriff’s department recently lost millions in federal funds, it laid off 23 of its 29 deputies and limited their availability to eight hours on Mondays through Fridays. The woman’s call to 911 took place on a Saturday.

With no deputies available, the 911 dispatcher transferred the woman to the state police—but they would not come rescue the woman either. In the words of the state police dispatcher, “I don’t have anybody to send out there. You know, obviously, if he comes inside the residence and assaults you, can you ask him to go away? Do you know if he’s intoxicated or anything?”

The woman's ex-boyfriend later plead guilty to kidnapping, assault, and sex abuse.

Josephine County, the county where this woman lives, is overwhelmingly conservative; its voters have twice rejected property tax levies to fund more law enforcement (the most recent vote was held yesterday). ThinkProgress notes that after the first round of cuts, law enforcement sent out a press release encouraging victims of domestic violence to move, noting that they would no longer be safe in Josephine County. But what's one woman being raped by her ex-boyfriend if it saves homeowners a few bucks every year, right?

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We Can Do It!

Paul Constant — Wed, 15 May 2013 09:44:38 -0700

Sometimes—not every time, mind you, but sometimes—the best way to demonstrate how a piece of art is sexist is by employing an equal amount of sexism in the other direction. The story of Bro-sie the Riveter is an example of a time when that tactic worked perfectly.

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Beth Ditto Gives Excellent Advice

Ned Lannamann — Tue, 14 May 2013 13:59:29 -0700

The last time we mentioned Gossip lead singer Beth Ditto on the blog, it was not very flattering—no need to rehash, although feel free to search the archives if you want.

Which is why it's only fair to post this wonderful video of Beth Ditto, offering advice via the website Rookie, an online publication for teen girls. This is part of their "Ask a Grown Woman" advice series, kind of like Amy Poehler's "Ask Amy" video series, in which grownup ladies answer questions from the site's young readers.

In this lengthy and thoughtful video (~~sorry, I don't know how to adjust the aspect ratio~~ fixed!), Ditto answers questions like "Why do people ruin good things?"—in particular, a young girl's questions about coming out to her parents. What Ditto has to say is beautiful, and well worth a listen.

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Judge Laughs Heartily, Denies Gov's "Frivolous" Attempt to Block Morning After Pill from Young Women

Cienna Madrid — Fri, 10 May 2013 15:44:00 -0700

Holy shit, this is great news, via Reuters:

A federal judge in New York on Friday declined to temporarily halt a court order directing the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to make emergency contraception available over the counter to girls of all ages.

... [U.S. District Judge Edward] Korman ordered the FDA on April 5 to lift age and point-of-access restrictions on all levonorgestrel-based emergency contraception, also known as the "morning-after" pill or "Plan B," to prevent unwanted pregnancies. The FDA has appealed that ruling.

"In my view, the defendants' appeal is frivolous and taken for the purposes of delay," Korman wrote in Friday's decision.

In less great news, Judge Korman gave the FDA until May 13 to ask a federal appeals court to stay the order, which prolongs this fight into next week.

But! In terms of satisfying public humiliation, Judge Korman declared in his Memorandum and Order that Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius decision to block young women's access to the time-sensitive drug was "politically motivated, scientifically unjustified, and contrary to agency precedent" and "so unpersuasive as to call into question her good faith."

The Order also calls the Obama administration's argument "largely an insult to the intelligence of women."

Man oh man, I'm going to be basking in the glow of Judge Korman's scathing words all day.

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Air Force Advises Female Recruits to "Submit" to Being Raped

Cienna Madrid — Thu, 09 May 2013 10:59:00 -0700

This bit of horror arrives courtesy of Wired.com:

An Air Force brochure on sexual assault advises potential victims not to fight off their attackers.
“It may be advisable to submit [rather] than resist,” reads the brochure (.pdf), issued to airmen at Shaw Air Force Base in South Carolina, where nearly 10,000 military and civilian personnel are assigned. “You have to make this decision based on circumstances. Be especially careful if the attacker has a weapon.”

The brochure, acquired by Danger Room, issues a series of guidances on “risk reduction” for sexual assault. Among others, it advises people under sexual attack in parking lots to “consider rolling underneath a nearby auto and scream loud. It is difficult to force anyone out from under a car.” A public affairs officer at Shaw, Sgt. Alexandria Mosness, says she believes the brochure is current.

While the brochure also explains that sexual assault is not always committed by people who “don’t look like a rapist”—attackers “tend to have hyper-masculine attitudes,” it advises—it does not offer instruction to servicemembers on not committing sexual assault. Prevention is treated as the responsibility of potential victims.

“Rapists look for vulnerability and then exploit it in those who: are young (naive); are new to the base, deployment, area, etc.; are emotionally unstable,” the brochure (.pdf) continues.

The quoted brochure is from SC's Shaw Air Force Base, one of the largest Air Force bases in the US, a base that includes its own self-contained town supporting around 16,500 military personnel and their families. (By contrast, the closest town, Sumter, has a population of roughly 40,500.)

So it's important to remember that in the scenarios outlined in this rape-prevention brochure, the rapists that are attacking servicewomen are likely servicemen. Yet these servicemen aren't given helpful tips or training on how to avoid physically and sexually assaulting their peers.

This brochure suggests that the Air Force—these servicewomen's bosses—still don't see rape as a man's issue. It's a woman's issue, one as natural and inevitable as your monthly menses, one women should just accept unless they're dykes or drama queens or some other troublesome kind of women who rolls under cars to avoid being raped by their peers.

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One Hundred Percent Men

Bethany Jean Clement — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:59:36 -0700

Hey, look, Mom: It's institutions, clubs, positions, and honors of all kinds that just happen to entirely exclude women, and a hell of a lot of them, like:

• All incarnations of the Dalai Lama, ever.
• Every annual award given by the National Sportscaster and Sportswriters Association, ever, along with the entire board.
• Everyone to ever hold “the most famous academic chair in the world.”
• Every person on U.S. banknotes ever.
• All of the Master Chefs of France and the board of the American Culinary Federation...

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You Should Watch President Obama's Stirring Defense of Planned Parenthood

Paul Constant — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:59:43 -0700

Henry Decker at National Memo describes President Obama's address to Planned Parenthood from earlier today:

Obama, who made history by becoming the first sitting U.S. president ever to address the group, offered a spirited defense of Planned Parenthood’s mission. Noting that one in five American women has turned to Planned Parenthood for health care services ranging from contraception to cancer screenings, Obama said “when politicians try to turn Planned Parenthood into a punching bag, they’re not just talking about you, but they’re talking about the millions of women who they serve.”
...
“There’s nothing conservative about the government injecting itself into decisions best made between a woman and her doctor” Obama noted, in a shot at Planned Parenthood’s Republican critics.

Here's video of the speech:

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Woman Beats Would-Be Rapist Into Submission

Cienna Madrid — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:44:00 -0700

A 28-year-old sailor enjoying a day-long shore leave in Dubai reportedly became the target of an attempted sexual assault when she got on a bus to get back to the port. Instead, the driver parked the bus in a lot, allegedly pulled out a knife, and reportedly tried to rape her. Here's what happened next, according to The National:

The woman, an off-duty US navy sailor, knocked the knife from his grasp, broke it in two, bit his hand, wrestled him to the ground and put him in a stranglehold between her thighs.

Having beaten him into submission, she left the bus and reported the incident to her commander.

Bravo, thigh master. Bravo.

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I'm Still Not Buying Your Dumb Soap

Alison Hallett — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:49:32 -0700

But this Dove ad—in which an FBI sketch artist draws women first the way they describe themselves, and then the way a stranger describes them—plays to female insecurities in a fucking masterful way. "These women are prettier than they think they are, so maybe I am, too." 'Course, if they'd picked some less conventionally attractive women it would be a much more powerful message... but then they probably wouldn't sell as many soaps.

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North Dakota Senate Effectively Bans Abortion After Six Weeks of Pregnancy

Paul Constant — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 13:45:00 -0700

This is fucking terrible:

BISMARCK, N.D. — The North Dakota Senate on Friday approved banning abortions as early as six weeks into a pregnancy, sending what would be the most stringent abortion restrictions in the U.S. to the state’s Republican governor for his signature.

The measure would ban most abortions if a fetal heartbeat can be detected, something that can happen as early as six weeks into a pregnancy. The House already approved the measure. Gov. Jack Dalrymple generally opposes abortion but has not said whether he will sign the bill into law.

To put things in perspective:

If North Dakota Governor Dalrymple signs this bill into law, it'll basically ban abortion in North Dakota.

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Father of the Year Puts Plumber in Peril

Paul Constant — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:44:22 -0700

In case you missed this story over the weekend like I did, here's your morning dose of awesome parenting:

When Mike Mika saw the disappointment on his daughter's face when she realized Pauline wasn't a playable character in Donkey Kong, he felt a call to action. Thankfully Mika happens to be a competent developer, and after a few late-night hours spent hacking the NES version of Nintendo's classic, he accomplished the role reversal his daughter had wished for. Mario was now under Donkey Kong's control, and Pauline was tasked with rescuing the plumber in distress.

(WARNING: As is usually the case, if you want to continue feeling good about humanity, you shouldn't read the comments on The Verge post, as it has been hijacked by dipshit "men's rights" morons making dumbass false equivalency comments about replacing Lara Croft with Larry Croft for the sake of fairness and so on.)

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Have You Booked Your SXSW Room Yet, Ladies?

Ned Lannamann — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 14:59:06 -0800

LADIES:

Need somewhere to stay in Austin for SXSW? Daniel would like to help. Via the most amazing Craigslist ad I've seen in a while:

SXSW LADIES STAY FREE

That's right! Ladies stay free for SXSW

I'm looking for one to two ladies to stay free during SXSW at my place. This is a simple deal; a free place to stay with many extras, for your services.

Included:

• Recording equipment and instruments
• Free internet and computer access
• Food
• I will provide some transportation as I will be attending SXSW also
• Bus stop is half a block away and goes anywhere in Austin within minutes
• A 6' tall 190 lbs 6% body fat with ripped abs and a musician, for company
• All entertainment appliances

I'm educated, extremely fit, excellent musician, lived in Austin all my life, good job, nice artistic place to stay, and well grounded.

Preferences:

I'm just looking for cool people to hang out with during SXSW.

• Two friends
• Sisters/twins
• One girl is fine too

I'm not a shallow person as this ad may seem. This is really a business deal, a nice way to meet cool people, and have some fun at the same time!

Looking forward to it!

Daniel

ht: PhotoJQ. (LADIES: please don't actually stay with Daniel.)

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True Crime: "Gun Located in Suspect Vagina"

Goldy — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 13:44:44 -0800

Guns don't kill people...

An Oklahoma woman arrested Monday on drug charges had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina, according to police.

The weapon was discovered during a search of Christie Dawn Harris, 28, by a female officer with the Ada Police Department. According to a police report, the cop spotted the handle of the five-shot revolver "sticking out from" inside Harris....

... The Freedom Arms .22-caliber handgun was loaded with three live rounds and one spent shell, cops reported. As to where the weapon was recovered, the police report noted, “gun located in suspect vagina.”

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The Jobs Where the Pay Gap Between Men and Women Is the Widest

Christopher Frizzelle — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 13:59:04 -0800

Check out this chart at Washington Post.

As Dylan Matthews writes: "Interestingly, many blue collar professions—such as cafeteria work, security guard work, and warehouse stock clerking—are the most egalitarian in their compensation, while female white collar professionals like doctors, stock brokers, and insurance saleswomen face among the worst pay gaps around."

The one that surprises me is "retail sales." Women earn 64.3 percent what men earn in that field.

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Guess the Famous Literary Character!

Courtney Ferguson — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 14:14:37 -0800

This sassy country lass is the new face of a certain literary character who may or may not be my favorite heroine of all time. That's a trick—she is 100% ABSOLUTELY my favorite. Can you guess who this Prelled-up hayseed honey is supposed to be? I hear you screaming "Elizabeth Wakefield" with a fervor that would fill Liz's Sweet Valley High gossip column with 1,000 blind items. But how wrong you are. "Well, I don't know. Did they sex up Winnie from Tuck Everlasting, so she'd be a more sultry toad-harasser?" Ha! I wish. Check out the egregious answer after the jump, plus a few more pictures of book-cover makeovers gone off the the fucking rails.

Jezebel has a gallery of effed-up book makeovers, like this doozy of Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar—only the most depressing and awesome novel that has ever been noveled. In a litany of questions I have about this makeover monstrosity: Does anyone else not understand why there's no actual makeup in that compact?

Thus ends your daily report of Literary Treasures That Have Been Shat Upon.

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Working Hard to Widen the Gender Gap

Dan Savage — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 15:29:53 -0800

I don't know whether I should be totally outraged or I should be sending this Republican legislator a thank-you note:

A Republican lawmaker in New Mexico introduced a bill on Wednesday that would legally require victims of rape to carry their pregnancies to term in order to use the fetus as evidence for a sexual assault trial. House Bill 206, introduced by state Rep. Cathrynn Brown (R), would charge a rape victim who ended her pregnancy with a third-degree felony for "tampering with evidence."

“Tampering with evidence shall include procuring or facilitating an abortion, or compelling or coercing another to obtain an abortion, of a fetus that is the result of criminal sexual penetration or incest with the intent to destroy evidence of the crime," the bill says.

Third-degree felonies in New Mexico carry a sentence of up to three years in prison.

Maybe both?

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Conservatives Uncover Obama's Plot to Destroy America's Military By Allowing Women to Fight for America

Paul Constant — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 09:59:59 -0800

Conservatives are up in arms over the fact that female soldiers can now get up in arms. Wonkette has already noted Michael Goldfarb's epic Twitter poem about how this marks the end of American honor. But other conservatives think this is part of a greater Obama scheme to destroy the US military. Here are some comments on a National Review post about the news.

Subterfuge to make it harder to garner public support for going to war. Go ahead and call me a war monger, but sometimes wars have to be fought. This is bad policy.

Open homosexuality in the ranks and women on the front lines.
I'm sure Patton, MacArthur, and Schwarzkopf are looking down on all of this with great pride.

The Left has been plotting to destroy the U.S. military for decades. It's finally succeeded.

As everything does, it gets worse when you go to Breitbart.com:

.ummm... miliatry needs em... cause recruitment is being impacted by lack of leadership... and maybe women won't mind firing on their own countrymen... you know... same gals who support late term abortion... they make good killing machines...

They will head for the hills first time they hear gunfire. Scream at the top of their lungs if they see a spider while sneaking up on the enemy. No thanks.

There is so much more after the jump and it is all so terrible.

Women will not be able to fight like a man. Whole thing is a joke.

They'll have to reduce the standards. Trust me. Women can't hack it in general.

Combat is no place for a woman, sorry to break it to you, but it isn't.

what does this say about the whimps not only amung us, but those in command, up to the commander in chief? will anybody feel great about heavy casualties of women killed in combat, because metrosexuals were too worried about thier hair? what is wrong with us? it is not that i believe women are not capable of fighting, it is that i believe women should not have to fight!

Good Send Hillary in!

Women can't hack it.
They couldn't hack being firefighters in Los Angeles either.
They are not built for that.
What they ARE built for will become evident in fighting holes on the front line.
When men go to dig those holes, they'll dig two and use two different kinds of tools.
And then the ladies will be expected to cook and to serve and dress combat wounds.
They'll be expected to administer sponge baths to the "wounded."
I am a former infantry Marine, and I joined at the wrong time, apparently.
(I'm only kidding. I would never do that. My wife was my first.)

Damn shame when a GRUNT on an operation can't whip it out to take a leak!! ;-))

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Lena Dunham Takes Questions from Miranda July

Christopher Frizzelle — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 13:29:57 -0800

Although the question-asking really goes both ways. In fact, the piece starts with a question from Dunham. July's introduction to this Interview interview begins:

A couple of weeks ago, Lena Dunham and I met for dinner. As soon as we'd placed our orders at a French-ish cafÉ in the Silver Lake section of Los Angeles, we plunged into a conversation about love between girls—both platonic and romantic. I began to describe my first real relationship, which was with a girl, and Lena immediately asked, "How did you feel about her vagina?" A few days later, I was telling this to an old friend, and the old friend said, "I've known you for 20 years and I've never thought to ask you that. . . How did you feel about her vagina?" Of course, Lena always goes straight for the most interesting thing, the thing you really want to know, even if it seems too intimate or too silly or too gross...

So how did July feel about her girlfriend's vagina? "Terrific. I felt terrific about it. I thought of it as a warm Danish from an expensive pastry shop."

Read their whole conversation right here.

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So That's How You Prevent Your Own Gang Rape

Cienna Madrid — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 09:59:42 -0800

Indian spiritual leader Asaram Bapu told his followers that the 23-year-old student allegedly gang raped by six men in December was just as responsible as her attackers for her own assault. You see, she apparently didn't pray to God hard enough to prevent the rape-with-iron-bar:

Addressing his followers recently, Asaram said that when the girl encountered six drunk men "she should have taken God's name and could have held the hand of one of the men and said I consider you as my brother and should have said to the other two 'Brother I am helpless, you are my brother, my religious brother.'

She should have taken God's name and held their hands and feet... then the misconduct wouldn't have happened."

He also went on to say, "Galti ek taraf se nahi hoti hai (mistake is not committed from one side)."
The girl was gangraped on the night of December 16 in a moving bus and died nearly a fortnight later at a Singapore hospital.

"The accused were drunk. If the girl had chanted hymns to Goddess Saraswati and to Guru Diksha then she wouldn't have entered the bus...," he added.

Comforting words for women everywhere.

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What Does a Good Girl Do?

Paul Constant — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 09:59:00 -0800

The Reddit meme Good Guy Greg is a one-note joke: It's a photo of a man smoking a joint, with words demonstrating why he's a good guy published on top and below the man's face. Examples include "Doesn't drink/Doesn't lecture others on why they shouldn't drink" and "Knows you forgot his name/Tells a story where someone says 'Listen, Greg.'" The female version of Good Guy Greg is Good Girl Gina. The things that Good Girl Gina likes to do are pretty different from Good Guy Greg: "Boyfriend works 2 jobs/Waits until 10pm to make dinner so it's still fresh," "Notices you checking her out/smiles and takes it as flattery," "Is a vegan/cooks you a mean Thanksgiving turkey," and "Gives you a blowjob/doesn't expect you to go down on her."

Reddit user LaTeX_Fetish scraped every Good Girl Gina picture and then categorized them. The vast majority of Good Girl Gina photos demonstrate Gina ignoring her wants and needs for a man—either sexually, through media (she prefers watching her man play video games over watching a movie, she decides not to see the Twilight movie because her man wants to see Skyfall) or through cooking. LaTeX_Fetish's full report, including a table demonstrating the percentage of different Good Girl Gina posts is here. This is the summary:

So what can we glean from all this? If someone wants to be a Good Girl, then reddit already has it figured out. A Good Girl is an object to be lusted after. A Good Girl makes sure you're sexually satisfied, either by her or someone else. A Good Girl defies stereotypes, unless they play into your desires, like when she cooks for you. A Good Girl plays your video games and watches your movies, and she'll bring you food and drinks and drugs, but a Good Girl won't talk about any of those things, because she is a Good Girl. And a Good Girl keeps quiet and doesn't rock the boat.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go barf.

Go read the whole thing, please.

(Via The Verge.)

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Screw As I Say...

Dan Savage — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 10:59:26 -0800

..not as I screw:

Rep. Scott DesJarlais (R-TN), the former physician turned anti-abortion Tennessee Republican congressman, says he hadn’t given abortion as much thought as he “should have” when he supported his first wife’s decisions to have two abortions, and that he often used “very poor judgment” during his first marriage and the separation that followed it. He now looks back with regret, he says, on the sexual relationships he had with two patients, three co-workers and a drug company representative while he was chief of staff at Grandview Medical Center in Jasper.

But now that DesJarlais has given abortion a little more thought... he's come to the conclusion that abortion should be banned. It's just a coincidence that he ran out of wives and mistresses with unplanned pregnancies at roughly the same time that he concluded that abortion should be banned. Oh, and gay marriage should be banned because it's a threat to the kind of traditional family values that DesJarlais supports. There's no telling how many abortions DesJarlais' wives and girlfriends would have had, or how many employees and patients he would've fucked, if same-sex marriage were legal in Tennessee.

Nothing see here. Move along.

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Hey LAAADIES... Finally, a Car for YOU!

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 09:59:10 -0700

Ladies, a note from us he-men: We're kind of tired of driving you around in our very manly 4X4 Dodge Rams (because we like to RAM things, ya know?), and have decided you need a car of your very own. THAT'S RIGHT, we've reversed our previous decision on "women drivers" and think you are ready to get behind the pink wheel of your very own pink car. So we called the Japanese, told them to design a car for women, and voila!

THE HONDA "SHE'S"

Isn't it... oh, what's that word you females use? "ADORABLE"? And we know you're gonna love it for the following reasons (from LifeInc.):
1) It's pink. Just like your vaginas.
2) Its windshield is "designed to block skin-wrinkling ultraviolet rays," and a "Plasmaculture" climate control system was installed to improve "skin quality." Because no one will like you when you're old.
3) It has a pink key!

4) And a lot of other pink things, like pink stitching on the driver's wheel to remind you that you're a woman and you'd better not burn my steak. I like the inside pink.
5) Don't like pink? Well, they're designing a color for you Penthouse lesbians, too: "Eyeliner Brown." Now go make yourself look pretty for me.
6) And finally instead of an apostrophe, they substituted a heart in the car's name, "She's." (NOT FAIR. I'm going to start inserting "sweaty testicles" instead of all my apostrophes, because I AM MAN! Now go put on your pantyhose and drive that new lady car over to the Plaid Pantry. I need some smokes.)

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"If you are white, you better read this quick and simple paragraph!"

David Schmader — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 10:29:00 -0700

That's the header of an email I received from the We Like Women Political Party. Here's the text:

This is a free speech opinion!

Democrats do not like white people! Whites are facing a lot of reverse discrimination in areas where there are lots of Democrats! In communities which are overwhelmingly Democrat, whites are getting insults like, "Get out of my neighborhood, you're white," "why don't you move to a whiter neighborhood and get out my neighborhood," "I don't like white people in my neighborhood," "F-you, you are white," etc., etcetra.....In areas which are overwhelmingly Democrat, this is what is happening to white people! (Also, in areas which are overwhelmingly Democrat, whites are a minority and are becoming a superminority!) In many areas which are Democratically controlled, whites, which use to be a majority, are less than 30% of the population now! So if you are white and if you do not want to be insulted for being white (F-You, you are white, I don't like you because you are white) or or do not want to become a minority or even a superminority, do not vote Democrat, vote Republican or vote for any other political party besides the Democratic Party. This is a free speech opinion and only an opinion and we have the right to express our free speech political opinion!

For more hilarity, check out the We Like Women Political Party website.

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