Nice reasoned reaction from Business Insider:

There are unconfirmed reports that Major Hasan was a convert to Islam and originally from Virginia. He was reportedly scheduled to deploy to either Iraq or Afghanistan and was unhappy about it.

It goes without saying that the fact that the shooter was a Muslim will turn this into a gigantic story.

Curse you Asians and unknowing slut! WE'LL GET YOU NEXT YEAR!!

The Pentagon has funded a project at UC Berkley in which scientists have successfully grafted electrodes and tiny radio antennae to flying beetles—allowing researchers to steer the beetles by remote control.... According to robotics professor Noel Sharkey of UK's Sheffield University, there's not too much that the Pentagon could with the beetles right now. GPS systems or other tracking devices are too heavy and cumbersome to fit on beetles' backs. But he notes that the cyborg beetles could feasibly carry chemical weapons and could be effective assassins, though this would be highly illegal.

Two thoughts:
1) WTF?
2) Is this what happens when kids raised on Disney grow up to work for the government? The last time I recall seeing a menacing cyborg beetle was in the first scene of Aladdin, when Jafar uses one to open the Cave of Wonders. (right?)
2a) In that case, when is the Pentagon going to get cracking on implanting Eddie Murphy voiceboxes into lizards?

Okay, that's it. Rather than watching the liveblog of the healthcare debate, I'm going to spend the rest of the day listening to "I'm Proud to Be an American."

Why don’t the Swiss recognize that increasing your ability to win a bar fight is worthy of a Nobel Prize? I guess “neutrality” is just another way of saying “we’re big wimps.”

Thank goodness then that the people behind Harvard’s Annals of Improbable Research are there to pick up the slack by awarding a team of… Wait a second… Swiss researchers? Alight… Awarding a team of Swiss researchers the “coveted” Ig Nobel prize for this invaluable study:

Pathologist Stephan Bolliger and colleagues at the University of Bern in Switzerland won for a study they did to determine whether an empty beer bottle does more or less damage to the human skull than a full one in a bar fight.

"Both suffice in breaking the human skull," Mr Bolliger said.

"However, the empty ones are more sturdy. This is because the pressure of the beer, aided by carbonation, makes a full beer bottle explode quickly."

I totally take back that thing I said about the Swiss being wimps. I’m also making sure I chug my beer before throwing down at the next bar fight, which is scheduled to begin as soon as I chug this beer.

Another winner of note is Illinois resident Elana Bodnar for inventing a bra that can be converted quickly into two gas masks. Because when you’re in a riot support comes second to breathing. That's why I invented the athletic cup that converts to a gas mask... Which, for some reason, isn't selling.

The full story here.

Add one more to that short list: the new app from indie publishing juggernaut McSweeney's.

The McSweeney's app launched last week, and it goes for $5.99, which also gets you six month's worth of content; from there on out, six-month-long subscription extensions are $4.99. So far, it's been well worth that initial six bucks: The app not only gives you the daily updates from mcsweeneys.net, formatted for easy reading on the iPhone, but it also includes Small Chair, a catch-all section that delivers "a multimedia weekly selection from all branches of the McSweeney's family," be it a story from the new McSweeney's quarterly or a film from the Wholphin DVD or an interview from the Believer magazine. Last week, the app launched with "Raw Water," a story by Wells Tower from McSweeney's 32; today, I woke up to find an excellent short film by Spike Jonze, Lance Bangs, and Catherine Keener, Maurice at the World's Fair, in which Where the Wild Things Are author Maurice Sendak tells a totally charming and hilarious story about his childhood that's brought to life by Jonze, et al.

This Small Chair stuff that gets beamed to your phone isn't accessible online—making the app's subscription cost feel pretty middling when you consider that the only other way to get these stories and films and whatever else is to cough up for full subscriptions to McSweeney's, Wholphin, and the Believer. What's more, even if you decide not to renew your Small Chair subscription once the six months are up, the McSweeney's app will still function as a quick, easily readable shortcut to the daily content on mcsweeneys.net.

So yeah. McSweeney's is great. Their app is great, too. You should probably buy it.

It is a compact experimental device that fits comfortably between the riders legs, to provide free movement in all directions just as in human walking forward, backward, side-to-side, and diagonally.

So it's a cross between a Segway and a unicycle—for either the uber-nerd, or the morbidly lazy. And that's you, right?

Futuristic aluminum hat tips to The Presurfer.

Kitty and I recently took the leap of purchasing a toaster oven, having failed to receive one for a wedding gift (you know who you are and you aren’t getting a thank you card until we get that Bed Bath and Beyond gift certificate). Our old toaster, a beautiful chrome model from the 60’s, had a tendency to burn the shit out of anyone who came near it. While it was an efficient way to wake-up in the morning, we both became tired of buttering our wounds instead of our toast.

Enter the toaster oven. The perfect little appliance has revolutionized our life. To begin with, we don’t have to heat up our old inefficient electric oven. Also, I’ve rediscovered my love for quesadillas. But most importantly it makes mad toast. What’s more, after toasting the toast you can top the toast and toast it again! Mind-blowing.

For weeks I’ve been madly in love with my toaster oven. But then I received a press release featuring a toaster than made my little toaster oven look like a two-bit washed-up has-been whore with no future. Behold the beauty of the Pop Art Toaster:

I'm too sexy for my...toast. Yup, toast that makes you feel good about yourself. Wake up grumpy? We have toast for that too. And with 7 heat settings, 3 toasting functions, and a slide out crumb tray, does breakfast get any easier or more Fun?!?

To which I can only reply: “No ?!?” Just check out the “4 Image Plastic Stupid Toaster by David & Goliath”

Yeah, yeah, I know this has already been done with the special Limited Edition Cylon Toaster, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to eat toast that said “boys r smelly.” Now I can. We are truly living in the future. Anyone want a free toaster oven?

The tiny sensor would sit on the surface of the brain, picking up the electrical activity of nerve cells and passing the signal wirelessly to a receiver on the skull.

The signal would then be used to control a cursor on a computer screen, operate electronic gadgets or steer an electric wheelchair.

Sure, they're introducing this to benefit the disabled, but that's obviously not going to last. Soon anyone too lazy to dig under the cushions to find their remote will be able to get one, which will make for an excellent new spin on domestic arguments about leaving lights on and which show to watch. And what happens if a chip owner is high or blacked out drunk? This could be good for YouTube.

So when Amazon released the first Kindle in 2007, I didn’t pay much attention. Why would I want to pay several hundred dollars to read my books electronically? Even as the reviews came in — The pages look just like paper! The screen doesn’t strain your eyes! — I still didn’t buy the hype.

But then over the summer, I got an email from one of my professors telling me I had registered for a class in the fall that makes me eligible to receive a free Kindle. As it turns out, Amazon chose Reed College and several other schools to use the new Kindle DX in a pilot program. As long as we fill out several surveys, participate in a couple interviews, and follow their file-sharing rules, the $489 Kindle DX is ours to keep when the semester ends.

• The Kindle DX and my reading for the weekend.

So two days ago, I went over to Computer User Services, signed my contract, and took home my Kindle. I peeled off the first screen protective layer, but there was one more on which something along the lines of “Congratulations on Your New Kindle” was printed. I spent a minute getting frustrated that I couldn’t get my nail under the plastic to peel it off.

Then I realized that was the actual screen.

More about the Kindle below the cut.

Her column talks about some interesting incidents where the mean internet world has crossed over into the real world—once leading to the much-discussed suicide of a young girl and the another time when a supermodel sued Google to reveal the email of a blogger who called her a "skank." Dowd quotes the court decision (which, btw, would have been hilarious to hear read aloud by a somber judge):

“The words ‘skank,’ ‘skanky’ and ‘ho’ carry a negative implication of sexual promiscuity,” wrote Justice Joan Madden of State Supreme Court in Manhattan, rejecting the Anonymous Blogger’s assertion that blogs are a modern soapbox designed for opinions, rants and invective.

The judge cited a Virginia court decision that the Internet’s “virtually unlimited, inexpensive and almost immediate means of communication” with the masses means “the dangers of its misuse cannot be ignored. The protection of the right to communicate anonymously must be balanced against the need to assure that those persons who choose to abuse the opportunities presented by this medium can be made to answer for such transgressions.”

There are not a lot of court cases testing the protected anonymity of bloggers and commentors, but the Mercury and WW fought out a similar case in Oregon courts last year. In that case, the court decided in favor of protecting the anonymity of "Ronald", a commentor who described the subject of the post as a "cantakerous obnoxious dishonest new money pig self proclaimed god." Because we're a newspaper and Ronald's comment was about the topic of the post, the judge decided he was protected under the same shield law that keep anonymous news sources safe.

So it seems like the rules are this:
Starting up hoblog.com just to call people skanks - NO.
Referring to a public figure featured in a news article as a "cantakerous obnoxious dishonest new money pig self proclaimed god... skank." - CONTINUE AS USUAL!

Hat tips to Buzzfeed!

Here are some recent PDX Twitter highlights you may have missed:

Crazy Planes! - former Oregon Media Insiders head @LynnSiprelle spotted a private jet circling dangerously low over SE Portland, and shaking its wings. She wondered whether or not the pilot was in danger, but eventually decided he was kind of a douchebag.

PDX Foodie goes to Stanford - Local chef and amateur butcher @CamasD
to teach an online class on food writing for Stanford University.


Electric Cars and You - @amyjruiz, Mayor Adams' sustainability advisor eagerly anticipates the zero-emission Nissan Leaf, which makes its Portland debut this fall.



Happy Birthday/ Anniversary! - @MayorSamAdams wished former Portland mayor Vera Katz a happy 76th birthday today. Today is also KGW anchor and new mother @StephStricklen's 7th wedding anniversary. As long as I'm at it, happy birthday, as well, to OurPDX blogger and craft beer enthusiast @dieselboi

Speaking of Beer - What's on tap in PDX right now? There's a tag for that. (#ontappdx)

Some beers on tap right now in Portland:

@TankerBar - Russian River Pliny the Elder
@Baileystaproom - Fort George Illuminator, Amendment Brew Free or Die IPA, Cascade Raspberry Wheat.
@pdxgreendragon - Moylan's Dry Irish Stout, Fish Tale IPA
@belmontstation - Avery Maharajah, Cascade Summer Solstice IPA, Cascade Lakes Blonde Bombshell

Freaky Ghosts, Baby! - Last but, not least, twitter is a great place to find out about local events, almost as great as the Mercury's website, in fact. @PDXGreenDragon is showing Ghostbusters, one of the best movies of all time, tonight on the patio at 9pm. Bring your dog!

I would like to clarify that my feelings on the IT support staff at the Mercury could not be further from asshole-dom. Our IT support staff are Gods. Like Greek Gods, really. Now...where's that phone number...

Apollo 11 is one of the most staggering achievements in human history, and The Boston Globe's Big Picture blog takes a look back in the way they do best—with gorgeous, giant photographs.

Note that Command Module pilot Michael Collins—the man who drew the shortest straw ever—is the only human being who ever lived up to that time who is not in front of the lens in this shot. Freaky.

I also particularly like this photo of Neil Armstrong's face, hours after he became the first human to walk on the moon.

NASA has also posted some restored moonwalk video from the mission, and the real-time audio feed of the mission. It has a lot of stuff like, "Plus zero, zero, zero, zero, option zero zero one-niner seven, zero three. LEM wait, three-three, two-niner zero, over." It's surprisingly riveting.

Hat tips to Everything is Terrible!

Earlier last week, New York Times reporter David Rohde escaped from a Taliban prison. He had been a Taliban hostage for the last seven months, but the general public had absolutely no clue. In a joint effort by The New York Times and Wikipedia, the story was kept quiet until his daring escape.

"There'll be obvious comments from people saying 'I thought his writing was better than before'," says Coleman, who was recently released just in time to take over from the drunken chimp we had commissioned to "ghost edit" Coleman's section.

Also: I have not been "working from home" for the last three years, but in fact, was kidnapped by City Commissioner Dan Saltzman in 2006 and have been doing his bidding via Wireless from a dungeon at Saltzman Towers, ever since.

Needless to say, these truth-tellings may throw up Orwellian trust and free speech questions, but we only lied to protect our own. Just like the New York Times and Wikipedia. More at Buzzfeed.

The six pie-champ competitors tear into their pies, still fresh from the onset of the competition.
They are Amado Lumba Jr, Chris McCraw, Nate DiNiro, Eitan, Chris Snethen, and Aaron Hockley.

Things happen fast in Portland's tight-knit Twitter community, especially in the tech/creative blogging sector. Within a few days of Zachary's pie rampage, plans were unfolded for a contest to take place the following weekend. Whiffies Fried Pies food cart owner Gregg Abbott agreed to host, Raven Zachary had a custom "@piechamp" baseball cap made in time for the event, and a @piechamp Twitter account was created for the winning gurgitator.

While skulking around snapping some photos, I ran into OurPDX blogger Dieselboi, who told me a similar thing happened last year, when North Portland blogger LeAnn Locher declared she'd just made the best pie ever. Challengers stepped up and the Portland Pie Off was born—one more example of the spontaneity and power that stems from a constantly connected, active collection of people with bright ideas and the drive to implement them.

I had my money on Nate DiNiro. He really had the eye of the tiger, here.

More pie carnage after the jump!

The bigger Kindle retails for $489 and while Ringle is under order not to disclose any of the financial workings of Reed's partnership with Amazon, he says students who receive Kindles next year won't have to shell out any money from their own pockets. Apparently Amazon is willing to invest in Reedies as the kind of hip kids who are perfect for viral marketing? Anyway, this is certainly another step in our peaceful progress toward a Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey vision of the future, where there are no books and teachers and friendly holograms.

The manager of Reed's bookstore says an average Reedie spends between $500-$1000 on textbooks every year. Much of the high cost of textbooks is wrapped up in high printing fees, so while students will lose whatever tuppence they can normally get from reselling textbooks, the hope is that e-books will work out to be way cheaper overall. "This is a device that could enable you to put every book you use in your college career in one place," says Ringle, who points out that buying fewer paper textbooks will help the environment, too. Ringle did not, however, factor in the environmental impact of countless textbook bonfires Reedies are certain to set now that finals are wrapping up and free Kindles are on their way.

And don't forget! The Mercury's new Cocktail Compass is FREE, FREE, FREE. Download it now, and let's start drinkin'!

HERE'S HOW IT WORKS!

• Let's say you need a cheap drink (NOW) or some cheap bar food. It doesn't matter where you are in town, simply tap the Cocktail Compass icon, and poof! You'll have the closest happy hours at your fingertips, along with how many hours or minutes you have left until that particular bar's happy hour is over!

• Don't know how to get there? Tap the bar's name for the address, phone number and yes, even directions. You'll also get bar details such as hours, specials, and other important deets.

• Not that desperate? You can also use Cocktail Compass as a local bar search engine. Look for bars by neighborhood, or special features such as patios, wi-fi, karaoke, and tons more. You can also compile a personal list of "favorite" bars for future reference, and share the bar's info with your friends!

• BUT HERE'S MY FAVORITE PART. Had a wee bit too much boozing? Then simply hit the big blue button that automatically dials you a cab! Finally, an app that can keep me out of the hands of the po-po.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Download the new Mercury Cocktail Compass: Portland Happy Hour Finder for FREE, and find the happy hour of your dreams… NOW!

Note: Is your fave happy hour missing? Email us here with your bar updates or here with any technical problems/suggestions!