Some of the new sexy photographs that have been unearthed Prejean allegedly took herself, of her own reflection in a mirror, alternately topless and completely naked.

Carrie Prejean is young, beautiful and not very bright. And she wasn't politically active until she gave a convoluted and inaccurate answer to a question about same-sex marriage at the Miss USA pageant. Here's the answer that launched a hundred billion blog post. From her response it's clear that Prejean believed same-sex marriage was already legal in all 50 states:

"I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman."

Back to Prejean after the jump.

TMZ has obtained a copy of a letter Vivid Entertainment honcho Steven Hirsch sent to Prejean's lawyer, Charles Limandri. Hirsch is asking to acquire the rights to distribute "erotic footage that Carrie Prejean, former Miss California, produced for her boyfriend following their four (4) day rendezvous in February 2007"...In the letter, Hirsch tries tempting Carrie with this: "We would like to present Carrie with several options where she could certainly earn millions of dollars."

TMZ spoke with attorney Limandri last night, and it looks like Carrie's not biting. Limandri says Carrie's mom/rep says, "No, at any price."

Oh man, this is getting mythic. Carrie Prejean has almost literally been offered a multi-million dollar deal with the devil. Not for "new work," mind you, but just for signing a release. In these uncertain economic times, being offered millions of dollars to betray everything you allegedly believe in must be exquisite torture.

If this were a Choose Your Own Adventure novel, my first pick would be for Carrie Prejean to continue to refuse any and all porn offers and re-brand herself as the face of Christian sex, reclaiming her homemade diddling videos as a legal-in-God's-eyes adherence to sexual abstinence until marriage. (However, I don't think Prejean ever made any noise about abstinence, and was most likely banging the guy she sent the vids to, so my second pick would be for Carrie Prejean to keep refusing any and all porn offers until a bidding war drives her price into the tens of millions, which she will accept, giving half of the money to the National Organization for Marriage and the other half to Sarah Palin's 2012 presidential campaign. I know this would be putting money in the pockets of my enemies, but the Prejean vids are going to be leaked to the masses whether she signs off or not, and it just doesn't seem right that she should come out of this awful betrayal by her would-be boyfriend without some consolation-prize compensation, to do with what she pleases...)

Right?

I'm a 44-year-old single father and my 18-year-old son lives at home with me. We get along great and i love him dearly. I work nights and usually get home around 6:30 a.m. Long story short, I came home one morning last week to find my son passed out on the couch with his pants pulled down and a transexual porn DVD on the TV. I was a little shocked but I thought it best to just let him sleep and deal with it later. At dinner that night when I asked him why he was watching transexual porn his face turned white and he fumbled through the excuse that he didn't realize that he bought "tranny porn" and fell asleep before he could get up and turn it off. I didn't push the issue but I am highly skeptical as the DVD case was covered with nothing but transexuals. Excuse my ignorance, but is it safe to say my son is gay? He's had many girlfriends and I've never seen or felt anything that would lead me to believe that he likes men. Are transexuals even considered "men"? Should I try to get him to open up about his feelings or leave him alone? Whatever he is into will never change my love for him but I am unsure how to open up dialogue with him at this point.

A Confused Dad

My response after the jump...

Update! YouTube took down this video because that baby was doing some straight-up titty sucking. OFFENSIVE, YA'LL!!

I’m a young woman in a committed relationship with my longtime boyfriend, a handsome and VERY well-endowed man. His penis is more than satisfying, but it’s never gotten me off. I only climax when he performs oral on me. I feel guilty because when we make love, I wait for him to finish (and some times even encourage him to cum faster) so he can go down on me and I can climax, too. I can’t cum first because after I do, I don’t like to be touched and then we can’t have intercourse. Any suggestions? I feel guilty for being impatient when he’s doing his thing.

Prefer Oral Over Penis

My answer after the jump...

BTW, my penis doesn't sound like that. It sounds like this.

I'm a 22-year-old bi guy with a preference for males. My last relationship was with a female with whom I've stayed friends. Since we broke up we've been hooking up maybe once a month. The first two times she said she didn't want to hook up anymore, but she kept initiating sex. I like sex, so I went along with it. This continued after she started seeing someone (I didn't know at first) and she felt guilty the first time, but then seemed okay with it: I assumed that she had discussed it with her bisexual BF. She invited me to engage in a threesome with her and her BF, and thereafter I was fucking both her and him independently of each other every two weeks, which my ex thought was sexy. The sex continued to be initiated by both of them, not me, although I wanted it. Soon, my ex's BF encouraged me to pursue a romantic relationship with him, with his current GF, my ex, having primacy. I assumed that he had okayed it with his GF. It didn't take long to realize that he was incapable of having two relationships at once and he stopped fucking me because he was afraid of "using" me, even though it was consensual. My ex also stopped having sex with me (although the BF had okayed the sex) and began to ignore me as a friend.

The rest of the letter and my response after the jump...

These thoughts—concessions, really, to an increasingly visible and politically assertive monogamous community—were prompted by an atypically fair and balanced article on the subject of monogamy that appeared on CNN's website earlier this week. "Is Monogamy Realistic?" The answer, according to the experts quoted, was "NO."

"It's realistic that some people can mate for life in the same sense that some people can play the Beethoven violin concerto or other people can ice-skate beautifully or learn a new language," said psychiatrist Judith Eve Lipton.

Added evolutionary biologist David Barash, "It's within the realm of human potential, but it's not easy."

Lipton and Barash, who have been married 32 years and are the co-authors of "Strange Bedfellows" and "The Myth of Monogamy," said serial monogamy may be more realistic—a model in which people move from one committed long-term relationship to another and choose partners for different reasons at different stages of their life.

I would argue that serial monogamy also has its limitations: a strictly monogamous couple that might be great together and doing a great job raising kids may be prompted by sexual boredom or alienation—a circumstance that could be temporary—to part ways in pursuit of sexual satisfaction. A little leeway, a discreet sumpun on the side now and then, could help countless otherwise solid marriages survive a sexually fallow period.

Those quibbles aside, A. Pawlowki's article was remarkable for its willingness to tell CNN readers—many of whom have succumbed to the PC monogamy police—the truth about monogamy: human beings aren't naturally monogamous and monogamy is a struggle and many marriages crack under the strain of a monogamous commitment. It was a levelheaded, bracing piece of reporting—it was almost brave. I say "almost brave" because Pawlowski chickened out at the last minute and gave the final few graphs of his piece over to the rantings of one of those monoganazis who wants to shove her unnatural lifestyle down all of our throats:

Whatever the temptation, most people still prefer to be in a monogamous relationship, said Nadine Kaslow, a professor at Emory University School of Medicine who specializes in couples and families and who also is chief psychologist at Grady Health System in Atlanta, Georgia. "People feel safer and they feel more trusting. They feel like they can depend on their partner," Kaslow said.

It's sad that monogamists can only defend their unnatural lifestyle choices by tearing down those of us who are in healthy, natural non-monogamous relationships. Monogamy is great, Ms. Kaslow asserts, because people in monogamous relationships feel safe and can trust and depend on their spouses. The implication, of course, is that people in healthy, natural non-monogamous relationships don't feel safe and can't trust or depend on our spouses. Well, Ms. Kaslow, I feel safer in my honestly non-monogamous relationship than Jenny Sanford had a right to feel in her dishonestly "monogamous" relationship; my honest non-monogamous husband is more trustworthy than Elizabeth Edwards' "monogamous" husband; and my non-monogamous husband has certainly proven himself to be more dependable than Suzanne Craig's "monogamous" husband.

Again, I'm all for equal marriage rights for people who make monogamous commitments, despite their terrible track record. But the monogamous have to find a way to discuss their unnatural lifestyle choices that doesn't amount to an attack on those who made a more natural choice.

Congratulations to the adorable Portland lesbians whose Cyclust took First-Runner Up in the Sexiest category. (Personally, I thought your video was sexier than those Saran-wrapped lesbians from Seattle—and I hafta say I was a little impressed. Ladd's Addition has gotten me lost, but it's never gotten me laid!)

DUDE! YOU BETTER ACT FAST! CLICK HERE, NOW!

Or, if you prefer to play things fast and loose, you can attempt to win TWO FREE TICKETS to the screening of your choice! Email Marjorie here (no later than 5 pm today), put "HUMP TICKETS! HUMP TICKETS! HUMP TICKETS!" in the subject header, include your name, and signify which of the following shows you'd like to attend. (Don't worry, I set aside tickets for the sold out shows for Blogtown winners! Aren't I clever?)

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23
7:00 PM SCREENING: This is an 18+ show, and tickets are going fast!
9:30 PM SCREENING: 21+, SOLD OUT!

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24
7:00 PM SCREENING: 21+, SOLD OUT!
9:30 PM SCREENING: 21+, SOLD OUT!

Otherwise, get your tickets fast! You don't want to be left out of the funnest amateur porn event you've ever seen? (How many have you seen anyway?)

UPDATE! Congratulations to CLAYTON for handily scoring two tix to Portland's first-ever weekend of HUMP! If you're name's not Clayton, then tune in tomorrow for the last giveaway! Or, if you're not the gambling kind, grab tickets here for the remaining Friday 18+ show (dudes, there's a bar directly next door to the theater. And another one directly across the street. I know you can make it.)

WANT TO WIN TWO TICKETS TO THE HUMP! AMATEUR PORN FESTIVAL THIS WEEKEND AT CINEMA 21? Yes, you do. Email me here before 5 pm today (btw, "before" means "before"—not "after"), include "HUMP DAY!" in the subject header, your name, and which of the following screenings you'd like to attend!

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23
7:00 PM SCREENING: This is an 18+ show, and tickets are going fast!
9:30 PM SCREENING: 21+, SOLD OUT! (Though I've held back tickets for lucky Blogtown winners.)

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24
7:00 PM SCREENING: 21+, tickets going fast!
9:30 PM SCREENING: 21+, practically sold out—get your tix quick!

Also! You can reserve your tickets online right now. Plus, our good friend DAN SAVAGE will be hosting, and he knows a thing or two about Humping. And Wednesdays. I SAID, FORGET IT!!!

UPDATE! Congrats to KYLE for scoring two tickets to this weekend's HUMP! festivities. Tune in tomorrow at 3 pm-ish for another HUMP! giveaway!

• "Sexy Wednesday." From the Addams Family. GET IT?? Oh Jesus Christ, I hate myself.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23
7:00 PM SCREENING: This is an 18+ show, and tickets are going fast!
9:30 PM SCREENING: 21+, SOLD OUT! (Though I've held back tickets for lucky Blogtown winners.)

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24
7:00 PM SCREENING: 21+, tickets going fast!
9:30 PM SCREENING: 21+, very close to selling out—get your tix quick!

* BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR NAME, AND WHICH SCREENING YOU'D LIKE TO ATTEND! All screenings will be held at Cinema 21.

Look. If I were you I wouldn't depend on luck. Get your tickets for HUMP! (hosted by Dan Savage) right here, right now and be part of the funnest, filthiest amateur porn fest ever!

UPDATE! Congrats to MIRANDA who won today's HUMP ticket giveaway! Check in tomorrow around 3 pm for another shot at tickets!

"I was not sucking his d*** - and it's pretty obvious that wasn't the case ... you only have to look at the [seatbelt] mark on my chest," she said.

"Clearly I had my seatbelt on, so it's impossible that I'd be leaning over sucking his d*** unless he is hung like a donkey or I've got a f****** rubber neck.

"If it was true I'd just cop it sweet and think 'how embarrassing, I got caught sucking someone's d***' - but it is not true and that's what is p****** me off.

Clearly Ms. White's defense is rock solid. So how did such a vicious rumor get started?

"I don't understand where that story has come from," she said.

"It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something and he'd already paid me.

"But $5 is a bit cheap for a head job."

It's official: I like Australian girls.

That's right! If you just started reading this blog, then maybe you haven't heard, but consenting adults all over town will be getting their collective rocks off at Hump, Portland's most lithe and flexible amateur porn fest. Anticipation is only growing now that 18-20-year-olds can get in on the action with a special sober screening at 7:00 pm on October 23rd. After that the old people will be spilling the wine and getting boozy for a screening at 9:30 pm, and the following night at 7 and 9:30.

Sure, Dan Savage will be there, but there's more! Films were encouraged to include specific props and Portland locations just to spice it up. I'm super excited to see the devil's testicle appear somewhere it won't seem out of place.

What are you waiting for? Your dom's not going to force you to buy tickets. Show a little gumption and get them before they run out!

• Hump Ahead

• You and your prom date are welcome at HUMP

BONUS 18+ age screening of HUMP!, the finest and most handsomely endowed pornographic short film festival in the region! October 23rd, 7pm!!! This in addition to Cinema 21's three boozy, 21+ showings: October 23rd at 9:30 pm and October 24th at 7 pm and 9:30 pm.

Need another reason to HUMP? Need eight? Need to see something to satisfy your kiddie-llama-feces fetish? Sorry, the "no poop, no kids, no animals" policy is as strictly adhered to as a submissive prisoner to the wall of a sex dungeon. But fem-domme action? Encouraged! Mormon undergarments? Encouraged! CFNM? Wholeheartedly embraced!

18-20 year-olds? Invited! So buy your tickets now.

Then Marjorie told me my job for the day was to go through all the HUMP! submissions to make sure the DVDs worked.

And so I found myself watching a naked ass loom large on my computer screen. A funnel was brought into the scene and used in conjunction with said ass. I will give nothing more away, for you can all see this fine video (and many others!) for yourselves when the annual amateur porn festival comes to Portland! Yes, friends, the HUMP! festival, now in its fifth year, makes its Portland debut at Cinema 21 on October 23 and 24. Get your tickets here before it’s too late! And did I mention that the one and only Dan Savage will be hosting the event? And did I mention that the winners (determined by audience vote) get 2,000 smackaroos? And did I mention that I now feel—without a doubt—that I am upholding the noble tradition of the printed (or blogged) word?

• Don't worry, you can hump all you want on October 23 & 24.

In an ideal world, bosses would refrain from sleeping with subordinates, so as not to cause jealousy and tension in the office. But we’re not in an ideal world. Otherwise, we’d already have health care for everyone and Glenn Beck wouldn’t have any influence over the White House.

After David Letterman acknowledged that he’d had flings with young assistants, some commentators talked about it in the same breath as Roman Polanski, who drugged and sodomized a 13-year-old. That’s outrageous.

Sexual harassment entails pressuring or penalizing a staffer or making the office atmosphere hostile. Despite the blustering of the attorney of the alleged execrable extortionist, Joe Halderman, there’s no evidence yet that Letterman was guilty of that.

People sometimes fuck people they've met at work. Unfortunately it simply isn't possible to decree that interns shall only fuck interns, assistants shall only fuck assistants, staffers shall only fuck staffers, managers shall only fuck managers, and the boss shall... well, the boss doesn't get to fuck anyone at work, ever. In an ideal world, like Dowd says, no one would fuck a subordinate. But real life is messier. So we have to judge workplace romances/dalliances on a case-by-case basis. The question isn't, "Did someone sleep with someone with less power?" but this slightly more complicated series of questions: "How was the affair conducted? Was the power imbalance exploited by the more powerful person—or, as is sometimes the case, was the power imbalance exploited by the less powerful person? Is there a pattern here? Pressure? Predation? Is this a hostile workplace environment?"

Two people can have consensual sex even in the face of a power imbalance. It infantilizes the less powerful person and makes a cartoon villain of the more powerful person to insist that mutual consent isn't possible.

And for the record: No, I've never fucked an intern or a staffer while working here. And I've never fucked anyone on Ann Lander's desk. And I've never made love in the sun. And I've never been to paradise. And I've never been to me.

Listen. (OhmygahIcan'tbelieveI'mtellingyouthis!)

Ever since I was little I've had this fantasy where I'm in this cool, independent movie theater like Cinema 21, but they weren't showing normal movies. They're showing, like... porny movies. Like, all kinds of porn - gay, straight, cartoon, weird. These weren't normal porn films, though; they all starred my friends and neighbors from around Portland and Seattle. And (this is where it really gets crazy) dreamboat sex-columnist Dan Savage is there hosting the whole thing! It all lasts for two days (October 24th and 25th) and the creators of the hottest film and the funniest film each win a $2,000 prize before all the film prints are destroyed never to be seen again!

Weird, right? I don't know where this comes from... when I was a kid I used to rub myself on the doorjamb a lot... But look, maybe I'm being brash, but you're still here, I'm still here. Maybe we could make this thing happen, Portland? Just you, me and Dan.