http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/BlogtownPDX/archives/2012/11/16/monkeys-with-guns-cannot-come-soon-enough Comments On: <i>Monkeys with Guns!</i> Cannot Come Soon Enough by Erik Henriksen en-us Copyright 2013 Portland Mercury. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, Portland Mercury readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact Portland Mercury. webmaster@portlandmercury.com (Portland Mercury Webmaster) Thu, 20 Jun 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Thu, 20 Jun 2013 01:45:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss
And you can even allow submissions featuring apes -- even though APES AREN'T MONKEYS -- just so Erik's butt won't get hurt.
Posted by albert]]> Sat, 17 Nov 2012 11:57:01 -0800 Portland Mercury Posted by Todd Mecklem]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 17:35:57 -0800 Portland Mercury Posted by Blabby]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 15:54:20 -0800 Portland Mercury Posted by Todd Mecklem]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 14:40:23 -0800 Portland Mercury
@TM Actually, it would be more accurate to say that all apes and monkeys are primates. And if a primate has a tail, it's a monkey and if it doesn't, it's an ape/human.

P.S. Embryonic tails and tailbones don't count; that's merely a vestigial trait.
Posted by Süpër Chüñdy]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 13:34:09 -0800 Portland Mercury
Monkeys love bananas.
Posted by Joneser]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 12:00:25 -0800 Portland Mercury
rape, purposely not wiping one's ass, incestuous toilet-seat sex, detailed recipes for producing mushy orange poop, urban squirrel hunting, cocaine-induced anal-fingering.....

the problem with evolution is that it proceeds so goddamn ssssssllllllllllllllllooooooooowwwwwwwwllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyy.
Posted by human in training]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:58:59 -0800 Portland Mercury
We all know that evolution is like a tree with branches. Monkeys and apes are distinct branches coming off of an earlier branch, which is not referred to as "monkeys", and therefore apes are not monkeys, but a distinct group that exists parallel to monkeys.

Whoever made your site seems to think that evolution is like concentric circles or nesting dolls, which is silliness.
Posted by Blabby]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:46:49 -0800 Portland Mercury Posted by Erik Henriksen]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:28:45 -0800 Portland Mercury
Of course, that means that we are monkeys too.

http://paolov.wordpress.com/2011/04/21/ape…
Posted by Todd Mecklem]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 10:44:52 -0800 Portland Mercury Posted by The Showstopper]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 10:33:35 -0800 Portland Mercury http://m.portlandmercury.com/portland/lett…
Posted by Graham]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 10:26:09 -0800 Portland Mercury
Here's why you and everyone else should care: in this movie, only apes will have guns. What won't be in the movie? Emperor tamarins with guns, spectacled langurs with guns, red colobus monkeys with guns, tufted capuchins with guns, ... You get the idea. Why anyone would want to watch a movie without a single howler monkey with a gun in it is beyond me.
Posted by albert]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 10:24:32 -0800 Portland Mercury