If you missed this weekend’s Olympic Gymnastic Trials… no sweat. Here’s the only really good part.

Oh, did I say “gymnastic”? I meant “gym-spastic.”

Now here’s something fun for a Friday night—Blogtown is giving away THREE tickets each to TWO lucky people for tonight’s Sportfight XXIII at the Rose Garden (courtesy of Global Spectrum). If you’re into mixed martial arts or just enjoy the thrill of two guys beating the holy hell out of each other, you’re gonna want to go for this. AND THEY’RE GREAT SEATS, TOO, IN THE 100 SECTION.

Here’s a description of tonight’s main event:

Main Event: Welterweight Championship

Welterweight Michael Pierce, SportFight Champion (7-0), Braveheart MMA/Gresham, OR vs. Nathan Coy (4-0), Team Quest/Portland, OR

At SportFight 21, Michael Pierce used his superior grappling skills to frustrate champion Ed Nuno and take the welterweight belt. But his time around he’ll have to defend his title against another top-notch wrestler in Nathan Coy, who was an All-American at Oregon State. Coy has also shown he can let his fists do the talking, winning his last two fights via knockout and submission (strikes). In addition to the welterweight championship, both pride and team bragging rights will be on the line for these two fighters, who used to train together at Team Quest before Pierce moved on to Braveheart MMA.

Read more about tonight’s bouts HERE! Want the tickets? In the comments below answer the following question and LOG ON WITH YOUR REAL EMAIL ADDRESS: “If there’s no way you would get arrested, what would you like to do to Humpy’s face?”

Cut-off time is 3 pm today, I’ll alert the winners via email, and you gotta pick up your tickets here at the Mercury office by 5 pm! GOOD LUCK!

“Not the face! NOT THE FACE!”

I’m a fan of the World Cup, if not every match that leads up to it. I love the early mornings at the bar watching with a big group of soccer fans. I love an 8 a.m. Bloody Mary and a cup of coffee. So one of my favorite places to catch all the crack ‘o dawn games in 2006 was Red Wing Coffee. Looks like they’ll be showing all the games of the upcoming Euro 2008. Can’t wait!

From their press release:

Redwing Coffee and Baking in Southeast Portland and its soccer-enthusiast owners are hoping to introduce Portlanders to the excitement of the UEFA Euro 2008 soccer tournament with live, big-screen television broadcasts of every game. The UEFA Euro 2008, commonly referred to as Euro 2008, will be held June 7 through June 29. “Our World Cup screenings were such a hit, and we’re big soccer fans, so it’s a natural fit for us to show Euro 2008,” said Joey Gleason, co-owner of Redwing, located at 1700 SE 6th. “The Euro 2008 only includes the European teams, but to them it’s just as big a deal as the World Cup—it gets pretty emotional for the players.” During the tournament viewing parties, Redwing Coffee will feature food and drink specials. All Euro 2008 games will be screened live at 9 am or 11:45 am PST. A complete viewing schedule is available at redwingcoffee.com. Held in Austria and Switzerland, the 2008 Euro includes 16 teams competing to represent UEFA at the 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup in South Africa. Millions of viewers from around the world are expected to tune in to Euro 2008.

People have called us idiots for deciding to add pop singer/diva Mariah Carey to the two-time champion Mercury Softball Team. (They also call us idiots for other reasons, but let’s try to stay on topic.)

HOWEVER! As you will clearly see from this video of Mariah throwing out the first pitch at a Japanese baseball game, her athletic skills match and sometimes even excel the acting skills she exhibited in Glitter. BEHOLD, THE GREATEST OPENING PITCH EVER!

Mariah, welcome to the Mercury team!

First basketball star Kobe Bryant jumped an Aston Martin—now he’s been challenged by former Jackasses Wee Man and Chris Pontius to slam dunk a basketball after clearing a swimming pool filled with snakes.

(When they finally get around to it, it’s an amazing slamma-jamma… but before then? I wish those snakes would’ve bit the shit out of those other douchebags.)

Tonight is the 2008 NBA Draft Lottery and the Blazers are hoping for another ping-pong ball miracle and a chance to get the number one pick for the second year in a row.

Let me break out the abacus and see what the mathematical odds are of the team getting the first pick this year—.6%. That means it’s 99.4% likely the Blazers will not get the first pick. Ouch.

So it’s not too likely—although last year the team only had a 5.3% chance of landing Greg Oden—but the Blazers don’t really need another young player. Plus their odds-on pick (lucky number 13) will probably be traded come draft day. But until the bouncing ping-pong balls tell me otherwise, I’m hoping for a .6% miracle.

The Oregon Ironman competition was this weekend at the Chinook Winds Casino.

My roommate went, ‘cause her GF’s sister was competing (and won!). Afterward there was a pizza party for all the participants, which my roommate described as “a room full of huge orange people who hadn’t eaten anything but chicken and oatmeal in months shoveling pizza into their mouths,” which is a delightful mental image.

For some delightful image images, hit the jump. Thanks to Kelly and Misti for the photos.

Here at Blogtown, we strive to bring you the best and latest information, local news & politics, movies, TV, gossip, arts, entertainment, and general goings-on around town and elsewhere.

And cats. Lots of pictures of cats.

But we also like to bring you video of awesome car crashes, like this:

This happened Sunday at the Le Mans series in Monza, Italy. Driver Stephane Ortelli miraculously survived nearly unscathed—just a broken ankle.

SOOO, since nobody was seriously hurt, this is pretty sweet. Look how many times it flips over! See how close he comes to hitting that other car! Watch as the car cartwheels over and over, being reduced to useless scrap metal!

After handily defeating Pitchfork Media with their coverage of Menomena’s Record Store Day foosball challenge, Team Mercury cockily strode into Jackpot! Records Saturday afternoon expecting to triumph effortlessly over the local indie rock band with their crackerjack foosball skills. Team Mercury grabbed their ticket and waited for announcer/DJ Danny Seim to announce their number.

Team Menomena came amply prepared, backed by what seemed to be multiple corporate sponsors: Offensive lineman Justin Harris and defense/goalie Brent Knopf were attired in matching Adidas warm-up garb, Asics, and upside-down-swoosh Nike headbands (does that make it “Ekin”?), and were fueled by cola, Oreos and cheese doodles. Conversely, Team Mercury came armed with street clothes, chewing gum and mild hangovers. When Seim announced number “147,” offensive player Alison Hallett and defensive lineman Ned Lannamann took their places on the poles. The ball was dropped into play, and the match began.

…Travis Outlaw’s slam dunk heroics from last night’s Blazers game. It was a ridiculous way to end their season at home—I believe my exact quote from the live blog was “OH SHIT!”—and the play offers a brief glimpse of the true athletic skills this team possess.

Link courtesy of the always excellent Blazers Blog.