Hullo and greetings, fellow Earthlings! It’s the Mercury’s resident astronomist here, to let you know that TOMORROW, Saturday, May 10th is National Astronomy Day!

According to my fellow astronomists over at Astronomy.com, National Astronomy Day “gives astronomy-lovers a chance to share their passion with the astronomy-curious.” So, allow me (i.e. astronomy-lover) share my passion with you!

So next Tuesday, a brand spankin’ new box set of Indiana Jones DVDs comes out—one that includes all three of the original films, new bonus features, and the most boring cover art humanly imaginable! (All the details are here.) We’ll have a review of the box set next week, but in the meantime, we’ve got an extra set to give away to one lucky Blogtown reader.

Only catch is, I want to make sure these discs go to someone who’ll really, really appreciate ‘em—a true blue, die hard, all-or-nothing Indiana Jones fan. Which, of course, is code for “Someone who loves Indiana Jones so much that they even like Temple of Doom.”

So here’s the challenge, Indy fans: In 100 words or less, whoever can offer the most convincing, heartfelt, or funniest defense of the much-derided Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom wins! Tell me why I shouldn’t want to jab icepicks into my eardrums whenever Kate Capshaw opens her goddamn mouth! Tell me why I shouldn’t be offended by the litany of ethnic stereotypes that Lucas and Spielberg cram into like every scene! Someone, for the love of god, explain to me why I still find Short Round so adorable, despite the fact his dialogue was clearly written by someone who thinks all Asians sound like Mickey Rooney! Or just tell me why—all those reasons be damned!—you still love Temple of Doom.

Contest ends Monday at noon, at which point I’ll pick a winner and inform them via email. (So when you comment, don’t forget to sign in with your email address.) Have at, Indy fans.

There’s a whole cats-on-treadmills YouTube scene. Who knew!!!!!

!!!!

Eugh. Is it just me, or is today like the Fridayiest Friday ever? The über-Friday. It just will.not.end.

DB Clay is turning 10 at the end of the month, and they’re launching another new collection of their amazing wallets (we’re on Version 3.1). To celebrate the 10-year landmark and the launch, they’re throwing a party at Lizard Lounge Boutique (NW 13th & Irving) on Thursday, May 29 with music, art, drinks, and a showcase of the new wallets (which, yes, you can be among the first to purchase). Then, Friday and Saturday, May 30-31, there will be a two-day sales event where you can buy discounted samples, make your own wallet kits, and more.

This is a local company that has an inspiring amount of ambition, personality, and heart. I love the way they weave their lives into their product, like this wallet from the new line. Entitled “Adult Chores”, the print, when you see it up close (there are bigger photos here) turns out to be a crossed out to-do list from compulsive list maker and company founder Garett Stenson.

Get more local fashion news and event info on MOD.

Check out this video of a tuba player tripping a kid.

Now, wouldn’t you agree that tuba players are the MEANEST (or funniest, depending on how you look at it) of all marching band members? OR WOULDN’T YOU? To find out, take this very important Friday poll, and we’ll announce the results this coming Monday at noon! (And as always, feel free to discuss in the comments below the merits and demerits of each band sectional, for example, those bitches, the flutes.)

WHO IS THE MEANEST MARCHING BAND MEMBER?

City auditor Gary Blackmer has appointed a Portland deputy district attorney from two blocks down the street as the new director of the city’s Independent Police Review, after what he claims was a “national search:”

Portland City Auditor Gary Blackmer announced the hiring of Mary-Beth Baptista as the new Director of Independent Police Review. Baptista has been a Deputy District Attorney in Multnomah County for over seven years, and previously worked as an Outreach Coordinator for the Sierra Club.

“She is very experienced working with victims, she knows investigations, and she is an excellent communicator,” Blackmer said. “Her expertise is exactly what we need to ensure fair and thorough investigations of complaints, to work with the community, and to identify ways the Portland Police Bureau can improve its services.”

A national search was conducted to fill the position, and finalists were interviewed by an 8-member panel, including several members of the public. Leslie Stevens, the previous director, was hired by the Portland Police Bureau to oversee its new Office of Professional Standards. Baptista starts in her position on May 29.

As a prosecutor, Baptista is used to representing the police side in court cases. Her “experience working with victims” is therefore limited to crime victims in her most recent role, whereas often, those filing complaints against the police are alleged criminals themselves.

Continuing our presidential party today, check out this interview with Ralph Nader—yep, he’s running too!—by Andrew R Tonry. Nader will be in town on Tuesday evening, at Benson High School. Full details at the end of Tonry’s story.

“I’m not a quitter,” Nader said. “Our agenda is the majoritarian agenda, the others are not the majoritarian agenda. In head-on polling, repeatedly, our positions are supported by the majority of the American people; theirs are not. A lot of [Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John McCain’s] are not at all.”

Lawyers for the City of Portland have cited the production of the documentary Alien Boy in arguing why the media and public should still not be able to see certain documents about the officers involved in James Chasse’s death, which are currently covered by a gag order, in the case filed by Chasse’s family against the city.

Full disclosure: I’m working on the film with director Brian Lindstrom and the Mental Health Association of Portland.

The original gag order, signed on May 25, 2008 by Judge Denis Hubel, prohibits the release of broad categories of documents associated with the case to the public. Now, attorneys for the Chasse family are asking that the gag orders be reviewed so that the following documents can be made public: Internal affairs documents; documents from Officer Humphreys and Nice’s personnel files; PPB training documents; PPB after action reports; and City of Portland records involving in-custody deaths.

On page seven of its response, the city says Alien Boy’s production presents a safety risk to the officers involved:
Releasing the requested evidence, says the city, could result in hostility towards the defendants that is prejudicial to the trial. This begs the question: What’s in those documents, exactly? In addition, the city has attached two pages of posts from the Alien Boy blog as exhibits, intending to suggest the film’s supposed dangerousness.

This clever little birthday card was “printed by hand on an antique letterpress” by the Portland-based Letterary Press

And speaking of letterpress! Don’t forget about the Independent Publishing Resource Center’s anniversary party tonight, featuring solo sets from folks like Brandon Summers of the Helio Sequence, Hutch ‘n’ Kathy, Tara Jane O’Neil, and Sam Coomes of Quasi.

Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th (21+), and Backspace, 115 NW 5th (all ages), 8 pm, $10 (includes entry to both venues), tickets available through brownpapertickets.com.

Read all the nice things I had to say about it here, and hit the jump to hear what a few of the participating performers had to say about the show tonight and the IPRC in general.

Bioshock is a pretty great game—smart and scary and gorgeous and original—and according to Variety, now it’s getting the movie treatment.

Unlike most videogame movies, though, it sounds like this one might not be terrible, and unlike Peter Jackson’s Halo clusterfuck, it sounds like this one might actually get made. Bioshock’s set to be directed by Gore Verbinski (who’s most famous for the Pirates of the Caribbean flicks, but whose The Weather Man showed he could do smaller, less blockbustery stuff pretty well) and written by John Logan, who wrote Gladiator, Sweeney Todd, and that one lousy Star Trek movie about Picard’s eeeevil clone.

Bioshock takes place in an underwater city based on the free market principles of Ayn Rand, but things have gone disastrously wrong. Players control a pilot who crash-lands at a secret entrance to the city, called Rapture, and is drawn into a power struggle during which he discovers that his will is not as free as he’d thought.

“I think the whole utopia-gone-wrong story that’s cleverly unveiled to players is just brimming with cinematic potential,” said Verbinski. “Of all the games I’ve played, this is one that I felt has a really strong narrative.”

Ditto on that: Bioshock’s concept and story is incredibly strong and innovative, and while I know it’s foolhardy to get excited about any videogame-to-film translation, I’m still finding myself cautiously optimistic about the potential radness of a Bioshock flick. The full story is here, and you can go here and here for more.

Barack Obama signed autographs for the employees at this bizarre “technology and software” company that employs biologists and chemists, while a crowd waited outside for his motorcade to leave Beaverton. Meanwhile, you can listen to what he spent the morning talking about. National blogs are already buzzing about his opening comments, where he begins to campaign head to head with John McCain.

Listen to the full audio here.

In pictures of cats we see a beautiful naturalness that charms us. We find a cat’s presence comforting. Their behavior is a reflection of ours. We treat them as fellow humans. They see us as cats. We hold their lives in our hands….

This is how I see myself.

Our Seattle colleague Eli Sanders is slated to talk about the Oregon campaign trail on KUOW, Seattle’s public radio station, at 1 pm. You can listen online here.

And as soon as we can upload it, we’ll be posting audio from Obama’s visit to Beaverton today.

Then stay tuned to Blogtown throughout the weekend, as Obama heads to Eugene and Bend.

File this under perfect job for my lazy friends: Wired is reporting on a new NASA study that requires you to stay in bed for a very long time, and in return they will give you $17,000.

In order to study a person as if they were in space without gravity, NASA scientists use head down tilt bed rest. The 115-119 day study will follow the Bed Rest Project standard model… Participants will live in a special research unit for the entire study and be fed a carefully controlled diet.

Sweet! $17k for just lying around and free food! No word if they will let you smoke weed and pretend to be Niko Bellic all day, but I assume they totally are cool with that sort of thing at NASA.

Since your dreams are dead and you’ll never actually be an astronaut, or go to Space Camp (nerd), this is the next best thing. Apply here.

This weekend, Lurker Films Inc.—the same people who put on the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival every October—is hosting Zompire: The Undead Film Festival at the Hollywood Theater. The festival runs both tonight and tomorrow night from 7 pm to 1 am. See film shorts, film times, and the Zompire website for more info.

And if that’s not enough zombie action for you, Zombie Prom is happening this Saturday night at the Mt. Tabor Legacy. The event will be emceed by Baron Von Goolo of FrightTown fame. In addition to zombie corsages for sale, professional prom photos, and a costume contest (winners will be crowned King & Queen of Zombie Prom), 800 Octane and Writhe in Agony will performing live sets, with DJs Braineater, Non, and Apocalypse on the turntables.

Zompire: The Undead Film Festival, Fri May 9 & Sat May 10, Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7 pm, $10; Zombie Prom, Sat May 10, Mt. Tabor Legacy, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 8 pm, $10 advance, $15 at the door.

This is Matt Davis. Jon Shapiro just lent me his laptop after accidentally treating the crowd here to a full-volume Youtube video when he opened it up to blog. Ironically, the thing wouldn’t shut up, so as former kidney patient Jordan Kokich talked to the hushed audience about her struggles, Barack Obama’s voice was echoing from the Macbook at the back here. It was pretty embarrassing/funny/embarrassing. Mainly embarrassing, actually. Jon had to turn it off, eventually. So now I’m stuck with it for the sake of appearances while he’s off taking pictures. Anyway…

Hillary Clinton just emerged up here at OHSU, after forcing sick kids to wait two hours in the cold to see her. Staffers brought out blankets at one point, so a rather surreal, staged audience of about 36 doctors, family members, and kids on saline drips, most of whom are wrapped in blankets and looking like they need to pee, are watching as Clinton talks with Kokich, a teenager she met in the nineties who has since had a kidney transplant, and the mother of a sick child whose family don’t qualify for the Oregon Health Plan.

Clinton says this morning is about: “My passionate commitment to universal healthcare. I believe it is the unfinished business that we have to resolve.”

“How could you run for the Democratic nomination and not support universal healthcare?” she asks.

She’s introducing a single mother who works at Starbucks, with two children who have spina bifida and bipolar disorder, and whose insurance coverage will run out when the kids stop school. At the moment they have to spend $200 a month on medication.

“I think what we’re concerned mostly about is as they become older, where are they going to be? Are they really going to be able to live independently?” the woman asks.

Clinton says we need an “American coalition that will take on the insurance companies. I don’t believe we can get there without setting the goal of universal healthcare.”

“It’s one of the main reasons I’m running for president,” she continued. “It’s something we need to do for both moral and economic reasons.”

There are about a hundred press here, secret service, and as Clinton closes to take questions fro the press, they’re playing “I won’t back down,” for the FOURTH time this morning. Note to the world’s press: Sorry about Jon’s Youtube.

In case you’ve forgotten (and I certainly did), Mother’s Day is Sunday. In case you’ve forgotten how your mother looks and acts (and I certainly did), check out this hilarioso video from comedian John Roberts and friends, aptly entitled “Mother’s Day.” At least I think it’s Roberts… because I totally remember my mom saying and doing all these things, too!

Need more Mom shenanigans? Check out The Phone Call!

“People are working harder for less,” Sen. Barack Obama is telling an intimate crowd of Vernier Software and Technology employees and press. Instead of helping people live the American dream, “we’ve tipped the scales toward the special interests and Wall Street.”

“We need to reward work, and not just wealth,” Obama says. “That’s why I’ve proposed a ‘making work pay’ $500 tax credit for every worker.”

He’s outlining the differences between himself and John McCain—as if he’s the nominee, and Clinton has already dropped out (he hasn’t mentioned or alluded to her yet).

“I think it’s time to finally make health care affordable and accessible” to every American, he says. They also “have a difference on gas prices,” he adds, saying McCain is for a gas tax holiday “gimmick” that would save people perhaps $30 over the summer. “In the mean time it stands to potentially take money out of the [transportation] trust fund that pays for highways and bridges.”

“I believe that we owe the American people the truth,” he says, explaining that his plan to lower gas prices relies on breaking our addiction to foreign oil by investing in alternative energy, and increasing fuel efficiency standards.

“So there’s going to be a real difference on the ballot in November,” Obama says. “I intend to stand with the American people,” and head in a new direction.

More after the cut…

On my way to Beaverton this morning, I heard an ad for city council candidate Chris Smith, touting his experience.

Listen to it here.

Smith has a second one, too, on sustainability.

Barack Obama’s campaign staffers have crammed dozens of reporters into what’s essentially a mid-sized company’s break room. We’re all setting up equipment and training it on this stool:

Which hopefully, in 25 minutes, will hold one Sen. Obama. Unfortunately, I’m seating toward the back, behind employees of Vernier Software and Technology, and behind a wall of TV cameras…

“Why don’t you just drop out?”

“When are you going to be dropping out?”

“Now that you’re behind in the popular vote, the delegate count, and the superdelegates, why don’t you just back down?”

“Tom Petty may have celebrated not backing down, but seriously?”

“At what point does not backing down become frightening/borderline psychotic?”

“How’s it feel for you personally to fail at something you really wanted? Can we compare notes?”

“Do you need the number of a good therapist?”

Your question suggestions, obviously, are both welcome and at this point, it seems, thoroughly required.

Big Day for Oregonians!

*Barack is in Beaverton at some hi-tech firm. Stand by for updates here at Blogtown.

*Hillary is over at OHSU at the Children’s Hospital. Stand by for updates here at Blogtown.

*ALSO* McCain will be here on Monday at the Sheraton near the airport.

In other news,

1. On top of the popular vote and the delegate count, Barack just took the lead in superdelegates.

2. The NYT doesn’t mind if Hillary sticks around, as long as she plays nice from here on out.

3. Stephanopoulus says Hillary would take the VP spot.

4. WAR - Hezbollah takes control of West Beirut.

5. The Gong Show is back. With Dave Attell.

6. First look at Oliver Stone’s upcoming George W. Bush biopic.

7. Murakami’s 4 million dollar Jack-Off Cartoon.

As last night’s Hillary Clinton event was finishing up here in southern Oregon, a familiar face walked by the press area—a friend from college who now travels with the Senator. He looked great for having been in three states in one day, and after a few minutes of catching up he told me to grab my stuff and come with him.

We walked to the back of Olsrud Pavilion, normally the site of livestock sales and farm equipment expos but yesterday evening the site for one of Clinton’s rural Oregon stops as she campaigns toward the state’s May 20 primary.

With the speech over the campaign’s event soundtrack had been turned back on, songs like “American Girl” and “Don’t Stop Believing.” My friend nodded at a Secret Service agent and then the two of us were walking under the risers that had formed Clinton’s backdrop; into a “green room” draped in blue cloth and filled with local law enforcement officers in their dress uniforms, probably waiting for a picture; and past a table holding a New York Post from November 5, 2000 with a note next to it saying “please just sign.” The paper announced Clinton’s victory in her Senate race and Gore’s defeat in the presidential race.

Through a curtain, across a short stretch of concrete, and then, with my friend as my escort, I was suddenly inside the bubble of Secret Service protection that was surrounding Clinton as she worked the rope line. Because of the late hour Clinton had promised the crowd she would answer their questions one on one rather than doing a Q&A, and my friend wanted me to hear what people say to Clinton as she presses the flesh. This is something people don’t see enough, and don’t understand, he was telling me: the intensity of Clinton’s connection with her supporters, the absolute firmness of their conviction that she should go on.

It was true. Inside the bubble with Clinton, all I heard were older women with misty eyes thanking her, older men telling her to press on with the campaign no matter what, younger men and women saying they couldn’t wait to have her as their president. Clinton would sign things—copies of her book, scraps of paper, campaign signs, a copy of an emailed letter to the editor complaining about Clinton’s treatment in the press—and then she would lean in to answer questions and I would lean in behind her, just a foot or so away, trying to hear the exchange above the cheers and the music.

The first question I heard was from a young man asking about gay marriage (Clinton explained she supports civil unions). There was another question about violent video games, another about health care funding, and then it was mostly gift giving and people pleading with her to stay in the race. She received a sticker to put on her car that would identify her as part of the Holy Ghost Racing Team. She smiled. She was handed packages, letters, a necklace, a CD with a copy of a song an older woman had recorded for Bill. She laughed easily, shook hands warmly, signed everything in sight (except money, not allowed).

“Can I shake hands with you?” a woman asked gently. “God bless you.”

“Thank you for hanging in,” said a young man in a blue shirt. “I hope you win, I really do.”

It’s hard to describe the blast of supportive emotion that was directed at Clinton wherever she turned. We were making our way around a cordoned-off circle that surrounded the stage she’d used for her speech, and she was soaking it up, no longer the self-consciously straight shooting and un-flashy presence she cultivates on stage as a contrast to Obama’s soaring oratory.

Instead she was at ease, listening…

…laughing…

…and signing everything in sight, “Hillary.”

She didn’t seem in a hurry to leave. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave, either. It was all praise and support and good wishes in the bubble. It was lovely. It was another world.

Almost an hour late, Clinton kicked off her evening rally inside the arena of the Jackson County Fairgrounds here in southern Oregon by apologizing. She’d been in South Dakota and West Virginia earlier in the day, she said, and only then had headed west.

“I apologize that we were kind of flying against the wind,” she said. “But, you know, that’s the story of my life: fly against the wind, you’ll get there eventually.”

The crowd, filled with many hundreds of supporters (if maybe not the claimed one thousand), ate it up. They all seemed to want Clinton to stay in the race no matter what.

For the most part, though, her appearance was standard: A line about Clinton being more interested in solutions than speeches; details about her gas tax holiday proposal and her health care plan and her Iraq ideas; a (hopeless) challenge to Obama to debate her any time time and anywhere, perhaps even in Portland tomorrow morning when they’ll both be in the city.

The only new bit, to my ears, was Clinton’s closing, in which she explained her reasons for continuing on:

You know, people say to me all the time, ‘Boy, you’re a fighter.’ Well, yes, because you know there’s a lot in life that is worth fighting for and this country is worth fighting for.

People say to me all the time, ‘Well, are you going to keep going?’ Well, yes, of course I’m going to keep going.

[Huge applause.]

I’m gonna keep going because you keep going.

I look at that sign, ‘Single mothers for Hillary,’ I don’t know how single mothers do it. Every day, they keep going. When I meet somebody who’s lost their job, and they don’t know why, it’s just been pulled out from under them, they keep going. When I meet somebody who doesn’t have health insurance, and doesn’t know how they’re going to pay for their son’s operation, they keep going.

When people get up every day and face the odds that so many face in life, and they keep going—of course. That’s what you do if you believe that the future can be better than the present. I believe that with all my heart.

More Friday morning, including a lucky reunion with an old friend that ended in me being whisked inside Clinton’s Secret Service bubble to watch her sign autographs and field questions along the rope line.

So Speed Racer opens tomorrow, and a lot of people are really, really stoked for it—and a lot of people a really, really going to hate it.

Nothing invites fanboy discontent like remaking a classic cartoon (a year after it came out, I still get shit for liking Transformers)—but more than that, I think a lot of people are going to be put off by Speed Racer’s visuals, and also by its general tone. This is a kids movie through and through, and the Wachowski Brothers have made a giddy, eye-bending spectacle that’s sure to delight anyone under the age of 10. As for anyone older than that… I have no idea who’ll like this sort of thing and who’ll just get pissed off by it.

ANYWAY. If you’re a bit wary, Yahoo! Movies (via AICN) has the first seven minutes of the flick online. If you like it (and if it doesn’t give you motion sickness, or trigger an epilepsy attack), I’d recommend checking it out in theaters this weekend. Sadly, mainstream movies that’re this visually experimental don’t come along very often (the closest visual parallels to Speed Racer I can think of, actually, are a few of the films that screened at the Peripheral Produce Invitational), and watching this sort of thing on a computer monitor just doesn’t do it justice.

Inside the arena at the Jackson County Fairgrounds in southern Oregon, a not exactly full house one hour before Hillary Clinton is scheduled to arrive…

…while outside the light fades on a warm day here in this overwhelmingly white (as in 93 percent white) corner of the state.

Earlier I spent some time talking to Hillary supporters as they arrived, waited in line, and headed inside the arena. Here’s Philip Frisby, 84, a retired cement delivery person from Grants Pass, Oregon.

“I think it’s just great that she’s staying in,” Frisby told me. He isn’t a big fan of Obama. He’s heard Obama won’t sing the national anthem, that he considers it a war song. “How good an American could he be if that’s his way of thinking?” Frisby asked. “His patriotism goes one way—that’s his way.”

How did Frisby hear about Obama’s dislike of the national anthem? You guess it: By email.

Now meet Margaret Roper, 74, a homemaker from Grants Pass.

“I don’t think she should drop out,” Roper told me. “I think she should stay in until the last.”

She’s also not a big Obama fan. “I don’t think he’s got the qualifications she does,” Roper said. “I think she’s a better person.”

One reason: “I think you should be proud to be an American. I think he should defend our country in every way, shape, and form, and I would not have listened to the things his preacher said.”

Can Hillary even win the nomination at this point?

“It’s possible,” Roper said. “She’s a fighter.”

Deanna Rogers, 43, arrived with McKyla Crowder, 14. Rogers could not explain how Hillary Clinton still has a viable path to the nomination. “She can give it a try,” said Rogers, who works as a real estate agent in Medford. “She can’t give up now. It’s not over until it’s over.”

“I hope she will win,” said Balaman Poorkhomani, 52, of Ashland. “Because I like her husband. We had a great country when he was president.”

And if she doesn’t win? Is the country ready to vote for a black man for president?

“Of course.”

Roger Caldwell has been to 11 states on the proceeds of his button and t-shirt sales, and he’s made a study of Hillary Clinton and her devoted followers, who he calls “Hillarians.”

He thinks Clinton is staying in the race for two reasons: To gain leverage for bargaining for the VP slot and (in a rather generous take that I haven’t heard before) to keep the spotlight on the Democrats rather than allowing it to shift to McCain.

He hadn’t heard of Clinton’s recent bragging about her prowess at drawing “hard-working, white Americans,” but, he said: “It’s true. That’s just a fact.”

Consider North Carolina, Caldwell said. There, Obama won by 14 points and blacks (over 90 percent of whom voted for Obama) made up 34 percent of the electorate. “If you took the blacks out of it, she would have won by 14,” Caldwell said.

So does Obama have a problem with white voters?

“I don’t think he has any problem that any black man wouldn’t have among white voters. That’s just the world we live in.”

Is Clinton exploiting this reality?

“You can’t fault her for exploiting it. Anyone running opposed to Barack is going to exploit it. And Hillary has barely done it.”

Is there a way for Clinton to make a graceful exit at this point?

“If she wins in West Virginia and Kentucky she’s going out strong. It won’t be that she has a chance. It’ll be that she’s going out strong.”

Hello from Medford, Oregon, way down south near the border with California, where the view from the Holiday Inn Express is as follows:

I’m here to attend a Hillary Clinton town hall meeting this evening at the Jackson County Fairgrounds—a place where, a friend familiar with rural Oregon tells me, I am sure to find many of those “hard-working, white Americans” that Clinton is staying in the race to represent.

Check back later to see how I do and what the white people tell me, but for now I bring you the hard working white man who I sat next to on the plane from Seattle:

That’s David Kirby, 44, the pastor at United Family Fellowship in Klamath Falls, Oregon, just a short drive from Medford. He’s not a Democrat so, unfortunately, I don’t think he falls into the class of hard working white people that Clinton is courting. However, he did have some interesting things to say about Obama.

Kirby is one of those fascinating people who both know that Obama spent 20 years at a Chicago church with a fiery Christian pastor and firmly believe that Obama is a secret Muslim.

“All the evidence points to that he is,” Kirby told me. “I don’t trust him.”

The evidence Kirby has received comes in the form of emails from “watch dog groups” that he listens to, as well as chatter among his friends. He’s heard it all—Obama not saying the pledge of allegiance, Obama’s pastor engaging in hate speech, Obama being a Muslim—and he believes it all.

Granted, he also thinks Hillary Clinton is “crooked as a snake” and he wishes Mike Huckabee had won the Republican contest, but Kirby is nevertheless quite worried about a potential Obama presidency: “Having a Muslim for a president—if he’s true to his faith he’s going to be pushing the Muslim faith.”

I asked Kirby why he thinks Obama went to church for 20 years if he’s in fact Muslim.

“I have no idea,” he replied. “A lot of people have political reasons behind everything they do.”

And why would Obama lie about his alleged Muslim faith?

“If people of your faith had attacked New York City, and that is still fresh in Americans’ minds, wouldn’t you lie about it?”

What would it take to convince him that Obama is a Christian?

“If I heard him say Jesus Christ is Lord it would cause me to listen to him.”

I told Kirby that Obama has, in fact, said he believes in Jesus. Repeatedly.

“Oh, really,” he replied. “I didn’t know that. I hadn’t heard that.”

Kirby gets most of his news from email and the Internet, he told me, and then he instructed me that even if Obama does believe in Jesus, “believing in Jesus and believing that He is Lord are two different things.”

Kirby is from Albertville, Alabama, and he said he used to be filled with prejudice but that Jesus has filled his heart with love. “I don’t even know you, man, but I love you,” he told me.

If he only knew.

After I’m finish asking him questions about the presidential race he starts asking me about my religion. He finds out I’m Jewish. He wants to know if I believe in God. The snack cart interrupts.

I figure it’s dangerous to go down this road, so I decline to mention that airplanes are actually one of the few places where God and I have words.

He asks if I believe in the Book of Revelations. I tell him no, and, gosh, I’m really tired, should probably take a nap.

After the plane lands he tells me he’s going to pray for me as he’s getting into bed tonight. He also tells me that he hopes this image—him talking to God about me in bed—is with me while I’m in bed tonight.

Despite being sick as a dog, Andrew R. Tonry delivers a brand new episode of Easier Than Reading, the musical podcast that gives you a sneak peak at the live music happening around town this week. From his death bed, Mr. Tonry spins tracks from the Dirtbombs, White Denim (pictured), Little Ones, the Thermals, and MORE. Check it out here.

Street Roots is putting on a free event focusing on homeless issues tonight at the Hollywood theater on NE Sandy from 6:30 until 9:00, entitled “Thinking Outside the Box.”

At the event, Kwamba and Dignity Village will screen a portion of the Tent Cities Toolkit interactive movie in which Dignity Villagers, Portland’s former commissioner EriK Sten, Street Roots’ Israel Bayer, JOIN’s Marc Jolin, and many others are featured.

Portland’s street newspaper Streets Roots, Sisters of the Road, among others, will open the event with exhibits from local street artists and photographers. The event will also premiere the 15-minute play “Road to Dignity,” written and performed by Dignity Villagers, and directed by Deborah Rodney and Phyllis Jones.

The play is a lighthearted sketch of a typical day at Dignity Village, narrated by Gizmo, one of the Village cats. The play breaks stereotypes of why people are homeless. It gets down to the real nitty-gritty of who we are as people, neighbors, and as members in the community.

The event will close with an open-mic hour of music and poetry from the audience and broader community. If you would like to participate in the open-mic, “please bring your instrument (mics are provided),” says the press release. Enjoy.

So I got the crap flu last week, right? Which meant I got to watch A LOT of infomercials on TV, right? But there was one in particular that really caught my eye so much, a friend actually bought it for me! We tried it out today here in the office for our “$5 Food Challenge” (check next week’s Mercury for details on that clustereff), and what can I say? IT’S THE MOST AMAZING INVENTION OF THIS OR ANY OTHER CENTURY! Or as the commercial says, it’s “pan-tastic.”
Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Pancake Puffs! (Also available at Walgreens!)

So many things you can inject! (Your suggestions welcome below.)

This above clip is ADORABLE, just as long as you don’t think about how many dogs were probably maimed or abused in the behind-the-scenes filming. Dogs in fancy outfits, a drunken bulldog, an attempted sexual assault of a Boston Terrier, a heroic dog in a funny hat.. this has everything I have ever wanted in a YouTube clip, and more.

Thanks to James for the link.

Blogtownies, help. Our office palm is turning yellow. It’s a “Cat Palm.” What should I do?! I can’t bear the thought of it dying…

PLANT: Weird…frightening…dangerous…

I have been waiting for the day to post this song, and today is that day. For yes, it finally seems that Obama gonna get it.

Earlier today, our esteemed music editor Ezra Caraeff posted on End Hits what he thought was the best Barack-related song out there. Of course, he didn’t know any better. Because he’s never heard THIS, which is not only the best Barack-related song, but is also—according to the band’s page on CD Baby, where you can purchase the album—the greatest song of the year.

So without further ado, please enjoy:

MP3:
The Steelers - Obama Gonna Get It

As expected, Sisters of the Road resigned from the mayor’s Street Access For Everyone oversight committee this morning, vowing instead to devote its time to advocating for the repeal of the city’s sit/lie and anti-camping laws.

“The SAFE Resolution effectively criminalized people who are experiencing homelessness and have nowhere to rest during the day,” said Sisters’ associate director Michael Buonocore, at a press conference held on the steps of City Hall.

BUONOCORE: “It is effectively illegal to be homeless in Portland…”

Buonocore said: “We were assured that the enforcement of the SAFE resolution would not target homeless individuals. It has been shown to do exactly that.”

“The services associated with SAFE, including day access center space, public restrooms and benches, have been inadequately implemented,” he continued. “These needed services should be fully funded and should be associated with the 10-year plan to end homelessness, not a law that violates the civil rights of Portlanders.”

Sisters’ civic action group, coordinated by Patrick Nolen (pictured above, left) will now work on an advocacy campaign, encouraging people to contact their elected officials demanding the repeal of the controversial laws. Others on the committee were clearly frustrated this morning, especially over the fact that enforcement has been disparate, and accompanying services like benches, restrooms, and showers, have not been working out as well as planned. Showers at the Julia West House on SW13th, for example, were out of commission for months, now they’re luke-warm at best, to the consternation of the house’s manager, Marvin Mitchell, who has been trying to get them fixed.

“In our executive summary for the mayor, we emphasized that the consensus around this strategy would not endure unless all five parts of our strategy were implemented together,” said Marc Jolin, executive director of JOIN Buonocore. “And clearly, minimally, if we’re not going to talk about the fact that the sit/lie ordinance should be repealed, we need to at least acknowledge the fact that all five strategies are not being implemented equally and that there’s a threat to the enduring consensus of this group.”

Also at the meeting this morning, city attorney David Woboril admitted that the sit/lie ordinance appears “on its face” to apply to street signs left outside small businesses. At last month’s meeting it emerged the city hasn’t been prosecuting sign-owners because it didn’t want to harm small businesses. However, Worboril said in Portland, the police have always been required to enforce laws against humans, and PDOT has been required to enforce laws relating to signs and sidewalk restaurants. PDOT, it appears, is not doing its part.

“To me the major issues when we came together for this process were sidewalk cafes downtown and diminished access to these for people in wheelchairs,” said Andrea Meyer of the ACLU. “I’m really disappointed that the city isn’t going after those. I’m really frustrated that PDOT has not been called to act on this.”

There are more campaign videos and podcasts, plus official tv and radio ads, than I can keep up with. Here are a few that have crossed my desk in the last few days.

Jim Middaugh has both a radio ad and a campaign video (with a cameo by the Mercury’s own Matt Davis).

Listen to the radio ad here.

His video is posted on their site, but I tossed it on YouTube to make it more blog friendly (hope he doesn’t mind!) found their blip.tv link.

In the other race for city council, Chris Smith has been posting “Conversations with Chris” on his website. They’re good, showcasing what he does best—know a lot about an issue, and talk about it smartly. Here’s the one about sustainability:

John Branam has a radio ad on his website. (It’s not blog-able. Is that a word?)

(P.S. — those two candidates, plus Mike Fahey, Amanda Fritz, Jeff Bissonnette, and Charles Lewis, will appear on stage together for City Club’s Friday Forum tomorrow at noon at the Governor Hotel.)

Another week, another Mercury music section to read while you compile your tearful Jason Castro video tribute. My sweet dreaded angel, may your mellow never be harshed again.

The Little Ones are all about making mighty pop music, and telling Astralwerks to suck it.
MP3:
The Little Ones - Tallies

Looks like someone owes Mick Collins and the Dirtbombs a frosty round of Guinness. I’m glad we ran this article instead of my piece where I offer the band a round of delicious Zimas.
MP3:
The Dirtbombs - Wreck My Flow

We wrote a glowing article on Robyn, who then thanked us by canceling her Portland show. I’m going to throw myself off a bridge now.
MP3:
Robyn - Konichiwa Bitches

Despite what her songs says, she is not bit-ter like a lemon, instead Kate Nash is totally sweet and loves Roald Dahl. O to the M to the G!
MP3:
Kate Nash - Foundation

While they are supposedly just “touring,” the real reason the Duke Spirit are returning to Portland is to bust the skulls of those jerks who stole their equipment the last time they came through town. Kill! Kill! Kill!
MP3:
Duke Spirit - Dog Roses

End Hits: What did we ever do to Robyn to deserve this?

Amy’s at the dentist this morning, but I thought I’d post this in her absence, because it’s homelessness morning at city hall, after all. City council candidate Jeff Bissonnette, who’s running against Amanda Fritz, Charles Lewis, and John Branam for Sam Adams’ vacant seat, has posted a rumination on the homeless protest outside city hall on his website, hitting back at the Oregonian editorial board’s request, made on Tuesday, for mayor Potter to “end the slumber party” outside city hall:

The main editorial in Tuesday, May 6th’s Oregonian calls for an end to the “slumber party” in front of City Hall. The editors contend it’s time to say “party’s over” to the protesters. They pad their position by saying this message should be accompanied by “ample notice and social services offered to those who need and will accept them.” Trouble is, they offer no long-term solutions to the protesters who, far from having a “slumber party,” are simply organizing themselves to get help from city officials. The Oregonian’s editors are the only ones who think there’s a party going on in front of City Hall. In fact, City Hall is currently the scene of a high-stakes policy debate with homeless people as active participants. As they should be. I’m running for the Portland City Council to be involved in just these kinds of debates and to develop solutions to the many challenges facing the city.

Then he lists seven (count ‘em, SEVEN) ways he’d have the discussion differently. And closes with this:

The City Hall protesters are raising precisely the issues that need to be addressed. It’s unfortunate if City leaders are uncomfortable being put on the spot with difficult questions and are unwilling to consider a new course of discussion. But making the protesters go away doesn’t make the questions and issues go away. As a community, we must respect the protest for what it is: a demand for action. Let’s not turn away from an opportunity to have the City of Portland join the protesters in demonstrating increased leadership to deal effectively with homelessness in both the short term as well as the long term.

That’s why we endorsed him and that’s why, in my personal opinion, you’d be bonkers to vote for anyone else. Still, this is a “democracy.” So I guess you’ll have to make up your own mind. (Hint: You should independently come to the conclusion I’m right about who to vote for in this race. Of your own free will.)

BISSONNETTE: Ready for tough conversations…

I’m off to the meeting of the mayor’s Street Access For Everyone oversight committee at city hall this morning. On Monday, Sisters of the Road said they’d be holding a press conference after today’s committee meeting to announce the future of their role in the committee.

The non-profit has been remarkably tight-lipped about what that announcement might be, but since the only options are really a)continue as they are, b)get even more zealous about the sit/lie ordinance that’s been targeting their constituency or c)reduce their involvement in some capacity, I’m going for c).

The oversight committee is due to report back to council in August, with a recommendation either to continue with the ordinance, or to make alterations, or even scrap it completely. Without Sisters’ involvement in that report, or perhaps, with Sisters’ active opposition to the ordinance, it would be impossible for council to claim they were taking into account the concerns of the entire community if they chose to extend the ordinance. Indeed, they would have to consciously ignore the concerns of one of Portland’s longest-running and best respected homeless advocacy groups.

It’s understood that the committee’s co-chair, Mike Kuykendall of the Portland Business Alliance, will not be at this morning’s meeting, owing to a prior engagement. That means there’s unlikely to be much discussion of Sisters’ position with him in the room, which is a shame.

It’s been the mayor’s position, all along, that the “sidewalk obstruction ordinance,” as it’s officially known, is about ensuring “street access for everyone,” and that it’s not targeted at any one group of people, especially not homeless people. But it emerged last month that the city is only prosecuting people with the ordinance (79 of the 88 warned or cited were homeless or transient), and letting unlicensed sidewalk signs go unpunished because it doesn’t want to harm small business.

Sisters’ announcement comes as a spontaneous protest against the ordinance, and also against its sister anti-camping ordinance, organized by homeless people, continues along three sides of City Hall. Read this week’s paper to learn more.

• Hillary Clinton will be quickly stopping by Oregon today to say “hi, howyadoin’, gotta go” in a whirlwind three state tour.

• Meanwhile, Barack Obama has picked up four more superdelegates, with more and more “undecideds” seeing the light.

• Former President Jimmy Carter says that Michigan and Florida delegates should not be counted because “they disqualified themselves.” In other words, sorry, but no do-overs for dummies!

• Philadelphia mayor views tape of cops kicking and beating the ever loving shit out of three suspects and decides, “Mmmm… okay. That’s inappropriate.”

• Rev. Al Sharpton and other civil rights activists have been arrested for protesting the acquittal of the cops who shot an unarmed black man fifty times on his wedding day. Starting to see a trend here!

• Remember those sea lions at the Bonneville Dam who were cruelly shot? Weeeeeell, they weren’t so shot after all. You’re safe this time, cops!

• Wedding bells are ringing for the President’s daughter Jenna Bush and the poor sonofabitch who’s marrying her. (Confidential to poor sonofabitch: There’s always time to run.)

• And finally, is it news when mascots are decapitated? Sure it is—especially if it’s hilarious!

Poor Mr. Redlegs.

I have posted before about the upcoming launch of Betty Jean Couture (3537 NE Williams) on May 24th, and here are some teaser photos of what to expect.